He's Absolutely Spectacular...
...but he's married. I wish I could tell him to just get a divorce, but I can see that he really loves his wife. I suppose I'll just have to settle for being his mistress the rest of my life.
He's a lot older than me too, so I guess I can't really bring him home to meet my parents seeing as he's older than both of them.
Why must love be so complicated? Why can't we all just fall in love with the perfect person? He's perfect in every way except in those 2 things...and one of them is a turn on. Oh well, I suppose love is about compromise.