This Is So Freaking Incredibly Personal~

i put my sons name in on myspace and i asked him to add me because his profile was private~

he wrote back:

What is it about me that made you request me as a friend... I tend to only add people who talk to me, so if you want to be my friend tell me why... Thanx... ttyl 

i was so nervous & scared that my daughter answered for me:

what is your mom and dads name?

Or wat is ur middle name?

so he wrote back:

well... my dad's name is John... My moms from what I hear is Jamie-Lynn... why do you mom?

ok... so my thoughts just got crossed there... I meant to ask, why do you ask?  not why do you mom?  But I was thinking about it and you are exactly how old my mom should be now... 

i wrote: 

i didnt really understand your reply but i think i might know what you are talking about

i have been looking for my son that i havent seen in 19 years. i don't know what he has been told. i just really would like to find him and get to know him...

john 
my god i have been looking for you forever. i hope that you will add me so that maybe we can try to get to know eachother.

it is up to you. i really would like to see more pictures of you and know more about your life.

sincerely,
XXXXXXX

OMG!!! NO WAY!!! Do you have a yahoo ID or something?
I am going to sign on because I have to run but I want to talk... My screen name is XxXXxx If you have one, PLEEAASE Sign on... I want to talk YAHOO!

::PEACE::

John

this is so freaking incredibly personal~

when i was a kid i got married really young. i had a son. i loved that baby with all of my heart and soul. i had been told that i would never be able to have kids.

things happened in the marriage and it could not be salvaged~ not for lack of trying; it just couldn't be saved. i had no money; his family did, so my husband won custody of our son. i had no way to fight financially so there was nothing i could do. i even got put in jail for kidnapping. my son was only 3 at the time.

as years passed, i discovered that i couldn't just live down the road and not be able to see him or have him.

when he was 6 it hurt me so much, but i walked away. there hasn't been a single day that i don't think about him and wish things had been different.

well now i've found him on myspace. i've asked him to add me as a friend but he hasn't done it yet. i put his name in the search thing and boom there he was. every other time i have put him in there, i put his whole name and the state that he lives in. it never gave me anything. but this time i just put in his first and last name and no state.

i wonder if he hates me~i don't know what his father has told him about the circumstances that led to me having to leave. for all he knows i left because i didn't want to be there. that was never the reason.

in an ideal world he would accept that  didn't mean to abandon him~that i wanted nothing more than to be there to watch him grow up~to help him with his homework, learn to drive, go on his first date, discover who he is as a person.

i want him to know that we have both been deprived of something precious that we can never get back.

 


breezybidj breezybidj
46-50, F
1 Response May 6, 2007

is this story for real breezy??? i'm freakin out. what r the odds??!! whatever happened with that?