I Gave a Blow Job and Then He Didn't Love Me For It

 I met this guy a year ago a few times then he dropped out of sight. We reconnected a few weeks ago. He was a wreck, being really upset about a girl. We were drinking wine at his house and were sharing a lot about ourselves. He was a highly intelligent person, which really impressed me. We touched on the topic of pot that I hadn't had for like 10 years and he told me he had had some at his house and offered me some. After 2-3 joints I got really high. We were kissing and I started to feel really relaxed. We got into his bed and without much thinking (I didn't have many active brain cells by that point, anyway) I gave him a blow job.  Well, he kind of prompted me to do so. He thanked me in the morning. 

It was our 4th date altogether but over a period of 10 months. To my shock, his emails got really short and didn't call me again. So I called him but he wasn't much interested. By then I felt I was in love with him, pathetic as it sounds so I confessed him my feelings. By email. I was under the impression till that point that he was open to deeper feelings, too. He was very positive about my letter but told me that his feelings are dead and that his prompting me to give him a blow job deadened his feelings even more.

It sounds kind of a banal story now that I see it myself written down. However, our dates were filled with sharing and tenderness that I thought would lead to more. To be honest, I was shocked myself how much I was affected by him (even before that "fun"-filled evening with the BJ). Could it have really killed his feelings for me? Forever? I know it was a mistake but I thought it could have been sort of "forgiven". Is it a frequent thing with guys that they lose interest in a woman after such a turn of the events? I really want to know. 

kittenless kittenless
46-50
4 Responses Mar 18, 2009

Sorry, but not all bjs are that good. It sounds that he's just not that into you. Just move on or really try to satisfy him and see if that changes anything..

By now i hope you are well over him( the jerk ) please let us know how you are doing now. Best Wishes.

He used you alright, what a Jerk, if a girl gave me one, I would think she must really love and want me, and would really want her all the more. It sounds as though he planned the thing, he wasn't worth your love for him, go out and find a guy that appreciates the great girl you are.

i think yes. men are authoritative by nature. they like to conquer. once you gave him bj he thought u r conquered. thats it.But if u wait & give some time to get over the infatuation period i think they will be nice learning there is an emotional support from u.