Born Of InnocenceShe lay quietly, breathing in the soft pre dawn greyness that filled the room. Her eyes turned to gaze at the woman laying beside her, deep in sleep and instantly the pain engulfed her and made her gasp. The mere sight of this woman and the knowledge that at this day’s end no longer were they to be a couple, today would be the end of all they knew, loved and lived.
It was Valentine’s Day, but no roses or sweetly worded cards for her this day.
She rose gently so as not to wake the sleeping woman and wandered out to their garden to ponder all that this day would bring. This day they had discussed and talked through until they were both exhausted. They both ended each discussion about this day in tears and fear. With every thought, her pain increased and her fear rose and threatened to overcome her.
She walked slowly back to the bedroom, pain and fear engulfing her as she bent down to touch the sleeping woman’s face, softly to waken her. The woman awoke and gazed deep into her eyes, fear immediately filled the woman’s eyes as the realisation of the early awakening hit her hard.
“It is time?” the woman asked
“Yes.” She replied, tears welling, overflowing to slide gently down her face.
The woman rose from their bed, her own fear clearly etched upon her face.
“Today.” The woman thought, “Today is the day all we know is to end, after today we will no longer be a couple” and her own pain and sadness drained all from her.
Together they left the bedroom they had shared as a couple for so many years, not a word was spoken between them, for there was no need. All the words that could have been spoken had been, many times over the long months as they waited for this day to arrive.
She lay herself onto the bed they had spent so many hours lying together as a couple trying to talk through the fears this day would bring.
The woman picked up the telephone and after a few seconds, she spoke.
“Yes, it is time, we will see you soon”
The woman placed the telephone back and walked into the room they had spent so many hours sitting in, discussing this very day. The woman sat in the chair set up next to the large bed and closed her eyes, lost in her own thoughts, trying to overcome her rising fear, tears flowing, unchecked, down her face.
She lay, watching the woman, desperately trying to stay calm; wanting the woman to tell her this was not the end. Craving reassurance that today would not destroy all they had, but she knew, as they both knew, that there could be no couple, after today. The pain over came her again and she cried aloud, her hand grasped the woman’s arm as she spoke.
“Please, there is no time, this wont wait. It was not suppose to happen so soon. Please help me,” She pleaded, fear and pain overcoming her.
The woman had no answers; she did not know what to do. Lost in her own pain and fear, the woman rose and helped her to sit up. All the conversations about this day and the way they would cope, replayed in the woman’s mind, jumbled and chaotic. They had decided on this day as a couple, together they had brought this all into their reality.
Gone would be the freedom to just get up and go away for cosy weekends by the sea. Gone, the lazy Sundays lying in bed, together, reading the paper, sharing mugs of hot coffee. Gone the selfish little world they had built and guarded. The word couple they had used so freely until the dawn of this day was gone. All gone, replaced by another word. A word they had both feared, as they knew it erased all they knew.
With trembling hands, the woman rose to help her. There was nothing either of them could do, this day would happen, without any outside assistance, and both were bathed in their own tears and sweat.
She gave a scream, primal and millenniums old, as the woman looked up at her. She could not hold back any longer. With a heart-wrenching cry, she gave to their world, the final destruction of all they knew, the fear forgotten as the pain overcame her, took control of her and drove all thoughts but one from her mind.
“I can’t do this,” she cried, “I just can’t” and then her voice trailed off into silence.
Sweat and tears intertwined as the woman gazed down at what their pain, fears and cries had brought.
She sat up weakly and looked at the woman. Her pain now gone, but her tears still flowed as the woman placed into her arms the destruction of all they knew and had held so jealously to them.
She looked into the woman’s eyes and slowly all her fears and pain became a distant memory. As they both looked a realisation awoke in them both, no longer were they a couple, they had transformed onto a higher plane of their love.
She looked down, a smile slowly appeared on her face and her tears of pain became tears of acceptance and love. She turned her gaze to the woman sitting closely by her side. They both looked, with awe and a rush of an unknown and uncontrollable love, onto the face of the tiny being they had brought, together as a couple, into this world.
The face of their son.
“Happy Valentines Day, my beautiful woman.” She said. She then uttered that one word that they both had held in fear and trepidation for so many long months.
“No longer just a couple. We are now a family”
© Waterwench 1993
waterwench1 46-50, F 0 Nov 14, 2010