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I Am Thinking About Giving My Unborn Child Up For Adoption

I am 12 weeks pregnant, and I am seriously considering placing my unborn child up for adoption.

I can't stop crying.  And no, it's not just the pregnancy hormones.  I love this baby more than anything, and all I want is the best for it.  I'm just afraid that it's not me.

I think adoption might be the right thing for the baby, but not for me.  I'm afraid that either choice I make, I'll regret.

What if I keep this baby and aren't able to provide a proper life for it?  What if I give it up for adoption and can't go a day without thinking about it.  Sure, there's open adoption but that'd be so hard... watching someone else raise the child I love.  Watching my child call some other woman "Mom"...

I don't know what to do.  I just want a straight answer...

mandi85 mandi85 22-25, F 27 Responses Apr 20, 2009

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If you are still considering this please give us a call, we are unable to have children, but desperately want one. I stay at home, my husband works for my father as a mechanic. My number is 865-599-5818 and our names are Brandon and Tricia Godfrey.

Are you still looking for a child i am pregnant and plan on letting my child be adopted

My wife and I are looking to adopt a newborn baby girl. We don't drink or do drugs. We have been together for over 14 years. We love our life and want a child to spoil and take care of. We love our nephews but want to be more then just aunt and uncle.

Hi my husband and I are looking to adopt have you found adoptive parents yet can you tell me more about you ?

My husband and I live in Ontario, Canada and are looking to adopt. We live at a 700 acre camp and conference center on the lake. There is lots of room for kids to run and play here and we have lots of love to offer.
My email is dpilgrim2007@gmail.com for more information.

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I'm sorry to hear that. I cried when I read your post, exactly how I am feeling and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm 27 weeks now and I havn't took any steps towards putting my unborn child up for adoption, and I want to be able to pick a family first not just hope someone will adopt my baby, but I'm so scared. I don't know what to do, I cry everyday =(

Hi are you still concidering finding adoptive parents hope to hear from you

my aunty adoption her son out in 1984 & from this day she never been the same. it very sad to see her christmas day, easter, birthdays ect.

I want to let you know that your choices is adding positive energy to the world. I know you had the choice to abort but decided not to. Placing a child for adoption is not throwing away a baby, that is abortion. Through adoption you are giving someone else a gift of life. It is more like donating an organ to save a persons life than anything else. It brings happiness to another person and/or family. With open adoption you can know the child and be part of thier life. <br />
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Hold your head high, be proud of your choices, you have done nothing that is worthy of shame.

As a person who was adopted I would suggest that if you do choose adoption, if not open adoption then ensure that the child has a way of contacting you once they are of age if they choose to. I have never really had an interest in meeting my real mother, but I really long to know where I come from. Am I Irish? German? Russian? Greek? I feel like I have no history. I would really really love to know where my ancestors came from.

Ho.ey, if you are concidering keeping the child tben that is tbe only thing you need to know,..now focus.. Well over 75% of children born are un planned, but ny who? Im not religious but I do believe in The Lord and He is the planner of souls to be born, we fool ourselves thinking otherwise...YOU WERE GUARDIAN OF THIS SOUL FOR A REASON... perhaps adoption be best, no matter where it be placed, it is your job to see that it happens.. Money will never be the means to provide the love to feed a child, only love will..and you have love in you and around you .. things will work themselves out. good luck, and make your own decision.

Honey, if you are concidering keeping the child then that is the only thing you need to know,..now focus.. Well over 75% of children born are un planned, but ny who? Im not religious but I do believe in The Lord and He is the planner of souls to be born, we fool ourselves thinking otherwise...YOU WERE GUARDIAN OF THIS SOUL FOR A REASON... perhaps adoption be best, no matter where it be placed, it is your job to see that it happens.. Money will never be the means to provide the love to feed a child, only love will..and you have love in you and around you .. things will work themselves out. good luck, and make your own decision.

Please visit this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZGwqHVnKs<br />
<br />
why would you want to convince a birth mother to give her baby up for adoption telling her you have more to offer instead of encouraging her to keep it? There are so many children in the orphanages that don't have anybody and need loving parents, and many don't get adopted and live their childhood life without a loving gamily.. I am a young mother of 2 beautiful boys and giving them up was NEVER on my mind.. I don’t know any mother that regrets keeping her baby but I do know mothers who regret giving them up and there is nothing more painful .. Keep your baby, when you look into her eyes you’ll know you made the right decision..

Hi, I am responding only because i can relate ! I gave up my first born in 1991 and i can tell you that today i have had NO regrets by any means . I have felt comfort knowing that i did the right thing but now thats with out saying................. I do think of him often and a await for the day i get the CALL ! Intel then I have my pictures and I have never forgotten him . He is always been in our family we remember him on his birthday , Christmas ans so on . We even have pix out of him as will .My best advise is if you can truly sit here and say YOU no you can't give him / her what you no should be given to this beautiful child then in your heart you no what to do . Don't think because you gave him / her up your not a mother because you will be ..... there will be tears coming down your face and only a mother will understand ........ God gave us this ............ Woman's to Wishing it's in us and that is what makes us a Mother ! I'm not telling it's going to be easy it wasn't but i new i did the right thing . I hope I was able to help you

I give moms who give their babies up alot of kudos and utmost respect. My husband and I can no longer have children and are wanting to adop. Without mothers that are selfless there is no way couples who are unable to have more children could. I cannot wait to be holding my next child in my arms and to forever be thankful to his/her birth mom.

I give moms who give their babies up alot of kudos and utmost respect. My husband and I can no longer have children and are wanting to adop. Without mothers that are selfless there is no way couples who are unable to have more children could. I cannot wait to be holding my next child in my arms and to forever be thankful to his/her birth mom.

I read your post and it seemed as if I could have been the one who wrote it. I am due in Jan 2011, and I am still trying to decide what will be the best for my child to be. Do I give him or her up? Do I not? What to do is something I think about a lot, but it's hard to talk for me to talk about. Thank you for your post, it helps to know that I'm not alone in how I feel right now. I hope whatever you decided to do that it worked out for you and that your life is as good as it can be.

Oops! I should have provided an update by now! Sorry!<br />
<br />
I decided to keep my son. For most of my pregnancy, I still debated about what I was going to do. Even in labor! But once he was born, I was just rushed with all of this immediate love for him. It was unreal. Right then, I knew I couldn't let him go. It was the best decision I ever made!<br />
<br />
CJ is 8 months old now, and is the happiest and most beautiful (I'm biased, I know!) baby boy. He's very active. He's been crawling and cruising the furniture for a couple of months now, so I'm sure walking isn't far behind. He can stand unassisted at times.<br />
<br />
I am raising CJ completely alone. His father bailed when I refused to give him up for adoption. He isn't even listed on the birth certificate, and we changed all of our information. So if he should ever change his mind about being in CJ's life, it would be extremely difficult for him to find us. (There are many other aggravating factors that led to my decision to make my son and me "invisible")<br />
<br />
We're certainly not rich, but we're getting by. I recently got accepted into RN school and will start next month. I work at night so I miss as little of his life as possible. I'm not dating at all. I'm just so caught up in being a Mom that I can't even think about bringing someone else into the mix.

Hi ya,<br />
<br />
I work for a company called Famous Features who provide stories to other magazines. If any of you would be willing to provide stories on the experience you had giving your child up for adoption, I'd love to know. It's such an inspiring story to read when you're going through something like that yourself.<br />
<br />
Please drop me an email on kellyalyse29@gmail.com if you're interested and want to know more.<br />
Thank you, <br />
Kelly.

you should just have an abortion!! why would you want to put your baby through pain, and why would you want to go through all the pain yourself to just give your baby to someone else? If you think you cannot provide for your baby right now, well then now isnt the time to have a baby. The best thing for any child is to be with their real mothers. trust me!! I know from experience

At 12 weeks the baby has a heart beat, moves around, has fingers, toes. Your answer, was ridiculously ignorant.

Mandy, <br />
<br />
What did you decide to do? I am just curious? I know this is the biggest decision you can make. God Bless you!

I KNOW!!!<br />
I had a baby girl just this past September 30th and I was in the same position I have 2 other children but could not support another due to financial troubles and didn't want to deprive another child, I wanted to keep her so bad but my reasons for keeping her were selfesh and my reasons for giving her up were for her best interest as well as for the interest of the children I already had.<br />
It's not the hormones (but that doesn't help) I cried forever and I still do when I think about it, infact I'm getting rather teary eyed right now.<br />
My advice to you is that if you feel it's for the best than it defenently is, it's extremely hard but if it's right it's right, and don't give your child to DCF so many children get lost in the system and are never adopted and go through life feeling rejected, private is the best way to go and you interview the hell out of them and make sure you choose the right family to raise that child, you don't have to do an open adoption and you also don't have to have a completely closed adoption either, what I did was made it so they could send me report letting me know how things are but w/ no visiting or photo's (cause you're right I couldn't bare to see my child call another women mom) than you make an agreement w/ the adopted parents to always be honist w/ your child and let him/her know they are adopted and let them know (if you want) that you can be contacted by the child when they're 18 if in fact the child wants to.<br />
You can also make it so that if you don't want to see the baby when it's born that they take him/her to another room after the birth, the hard part about that is convincing yourself not to go to the nursery and see the baby while you're both still in the hospital... which I failed that one, I paced back and foth in front of the nursery crying and trying to decide which one was mine till I finally broke down and went in to get her, in the end for me it was comforting to hold her, talk to her, cry and be able to look into her eyes and know that I made the best choice for her, but that may not work for you.<br />
You have to decide for yourself what's best and don't consider what you want for yourself it has to be what you want for that baby.<br />
Well there you go, I hope maybe I could help you a little.

I'm in the same situation only 7 weeks and I have no clue on what to do. I'm 19 and in my first year of college and my parents are telling me an abortion is the right way to go but I personally dont believe thats how to fix this. I dont think I can personally do it...I'm just so lost

With open adoptions now you can still stay in the life of the baby and he or she will be able to know of his or her mother, ask your self will I regret having this child? Then think again in your mind will I regret not having this child? You are the only one who can ask yourself and deep down in your heart know how you truly feel.

With open adoptions now you can still stay in the life of the baby and he or she will be able to know of his or her mother, ask your self will I regret having this child? Then think again in your mind will I regret not having this child? You are the only one who can ask yourself and deep down in your heart know how you truly feel.

Babies are truly a gift maybe it was meant for you to help another family to share their love with this little one. I myself have been trying for years to have a baby and haven't been able to and it just breaks my heart I have always wanted a baby.

I am also in your situation but I am a woman in her forties having baby number four. I am giving uo my child with a heavy heart because I know it the best thing to do. Dont listen to others only listen to your heart and you will find the answer. I have three wonderful children and being a mum is the hardest job in the world. <br />
No matter what others say to you they dont understand how you feel or the situation you are in. Only trust in yourself to make the right decision and to give up a child it the greatest gift a mother can do because it is the most unselfish act

I gave my son up for adoption in 1978, he was 8 1/2 months. I couldn't do it unless I tried to keep him first. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to parent him but at 19 years old, single with a high school diploma didn't cut it. I could have toughed it out but I felt that I would have cheated him. It was like someone took part of me and I was never the same. It really puts your mind through some difficult and despairing times and when people say it gets easier over time - absolutely not true. It hurts always till the day you die and only God knows the pain, especially on his birthday and mothers day. I went through some self-destructive things trying to kill the pain as I felt no counselor could ever understand what I am feeling and could help me. To make matters worse, I found out about three years afterward that I couldn't have any more kids so I know what families are going through that can't have kids. That gives me solace that I helped a family that couldn't have kids. I found out he has an older sister and has salt of the earth parents. I hope I get to meet them and celebrate this but when I relinquished him it was all closed adoptions. I would strongly recommend a flexible arrangement that you control the amount of contact because you may want a lot of time, pictures etc but after awhile as long as you know for sure your child is ok you may want to back off to have it semi-open. It is great and noble that you are wanting to place your child but always check out all your options as you have so many more than I ever dreamed of having. Best regards.

My husband and I have four children together. They are all getting so big now. We would like to adopt our fifth child. We are a christian family with lots of love to share. I would love to hear from you about how we can be a blessing to you and your baby. Email me at chrispagel@adventures.org

Don't forget that there are questions in the adoptees mind too.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
Who is my mom or dad?<br />
Where do I fit?<br />
What was mom or dad like?<br />
What will my inherited medical problems be?<br />
Why do I feel like something is missing inside?<br />
Why can't I connect to people? Especially women?<br />
Will I ever find what I'm searching for?<br />
<br />
These are but a few of the questions another EP user and myself have discussed in the past week as adoptees.<br />
<br />
I can't make your decision for you but you have to do what is best for the baby. And I'm sure it is not an easy decision to make.<br />
<br />
Good luck!

I gave a baby up for adoption. I knew it was best for the child and not so much for me. I think of her daily. this was two years ago. but i do want to say that you need to do what is best for you and that baby. You need to think maybe you couldnt give him/her everything you would want for her, but if you could give her a life that is worth living then the best thing is to keep ur baby. i grew up in a house hold that didnt have much money, in fact often our clothes were recycled for the younger sister. (their were four of us) but there was alot of love and it isn't all about who has the best clothes and coolest stuff, it's the love the family has that makes a life complete. I think this is going to be the biggest decision in ur life, but i believe that you will do what you think is best, and you are definately in my thoughts and i will be here if you want to talk about anything, i have been in this situation!

I am sorry my Dear...there is no straight answer for your question....And no matter what you decide..There will always be that little question rolling around in your head..."What if"<br />
<br />
What is I had kept it....<br />
<br />
What id I had not kept it....<br />
<br />
What if I had aborted it....<br />
<br />
What if I had not aborted it...<br />
<br />
You see...No matter what..>There will always be that What if question....For we all are human....and to a normal human...We all always wonder..If the grass is greener on the other side....<br />
<br />
So be the best mother that you can be.....and think of what is best for the baby....Your baby....and then just hope for the best...For that is what all mothers do for their children.....Think about what is best...and hope that it will all turn out alright in the end...<br />
<br />
My prayers go with you...and your little one