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I Gave My Baby Up For Adoption Over a Year Ago

On April 1, 2007 I found out that I was almost 2 months pregnant. I was so scared. It was my first pregnancy. I felt really alone. I had a bad childhood and I was so scared to bring a child into this world. I didn't want to have an abortion because I was scared and I didn't think it was right. I had only told a few people that I was pregnant. The father knew. I had dated him for almost a year on and off. I had just broken up with him less than a month before I found out I was pregnant. He was incredibly supportive. He wanted me to do what I thought was best. I never told anyone in my family that I was pregnant. Only a very few friends. On October 31, 2007 I contacted an adoption agency that I found on line. I met with 2 of the counselors and we discussed how the adoption process went. I hadn't gone to any doctors before this. I was so scared. I somewhat lived in denial. I know it was pretty stupid but I felt that maybe if I ignored everything... just maybe it would go away. Obviously that didn't happen. I went to the doctor for the first time a week later. They were kind of mad that I hadn't had any check ups at all yet. I made plans with the counselors of the adoption agency to look through books of families so I could choose one for the baby. The adoption agency supports open adoptions. I picked out a family based on the books. On November 20, 2007 at 12:00 am I went into the hospital so I would be induced for labor. The counselors came with me and stayed with me the whole time. I had my roomate and her mother there at the hospital. I still hadn't told my family about the pregnancy. I didn't live in the same town as my family and I avoided seeing them as much as I could so I wouldn't have to answer any questions. I had Emily on November 20, 2007 at 7:00 pm. She was only 5 pounds 9 ounces. She was such a tiny baby. I held her for a few minutes and just looked at this wonderful baby that I had somehow brought into this world. I met the adoptive parents that day before I had the baby. I had the opportunity to ask any questions that I wanted. They told me how excited they were to have a baby. They told me how thankful they were to recieve this gift. A few weeks later, I went to court to sign my rights away. That was one of the hardest days in my life. I had created a baby and brought her into this world. I had so much guilt in me. I knew what I had done was for the best, but it still doesn't take all of those bad feelings away. I have recieved pictures of Emily 3 times over the last year. It's amazing to look at those pictures and to see all the physical traits that she had from me and her father. She's such a healthy little girl. I still have those feelings of guilt at times. I'm in the process of making an album with her dad. It's going to consist of pictures and stories and letters to her to let her know that she's loved so much. The adoptive parents will tell her when the time is right that she's adopted. And one of these days.. when she becomes older.. she'll be able to write a letter to me. I just hope that she's happy and that when she finds out she was adopted.. that she won't hate me. I don't regret giving her up. I know that what I did was best for her. It just feels like I'm missing something. I wanted to join some kind of support group so that people who have been in the same situation... maybe we can help each other get through this. It's such a long hard process.. but I wouldn't change anything about it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope if someone out there is thinking of giving their baby up for adoption... maybe this story will help you. I've been there... and I understand. Thank you.

beebs83 beebs83 22-25, F 83 Responses May 24, 2009

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I understand, the love of being mother, I got pregnant when i was 18 had a girl then at 22 i had a son. I give God thanks because i cannot have another one. Children are a blessing and most times they don't come when you want them then to come, they come when God plant the seed in you or become a parent through adoption. IT was not easy for me but thank God i made it.
Now my niece is 18years old and pregnant 5 months, her mother throw her out of her home, my mom took her in, my mom is 72 years old the child don't even know how to was her own underwear. Now my mom has a problem as she states she cannot raise another child she has arthritis in her hands, So Today i was in church i got a text from her. her exact words good morning auntie I was thinking about doing and abortion is it possible for you to help me with getting the money to do it. I was in church i was so upset an abortion on my head. I told her no i will do no such thing, however since she don't want it i will her her find someone to adopt this child. Anyone here can tell me how to go about it. She lives in Jamaica, I was wiling to help her but i am not financially to support this child and give the child all that it needs.
anyone can direct me in the direction please advise.. I need someone who will love this child and give it a home with lots of love and yes a possible open adoption,


Philisher

Geewizz i get tears when I read your story, cause mine is almost exactly the same!! At that time of my live I was young and didn't have a work so I knew that adoption was the right thing to do for my child. Even though I think about my little girl still every day (its been 7 years now). Today I am a qualified registered nurse with my own house and car and no debt, sometimes I think to myself if only I can have my girl back cause I am more than able and willing to give any child a good live now. But I know it is impossible and that she has a loving family of her own now. I am considering to adopt a baby myself now cause I know the need is there and as I said I am emotionally and financially ready now for a child and there is no shortage in love!! Good luck in everything you do, may God bless you for the love you gave to your child by not being selfish. Adoption is the biggest gift you can ever give somebody.

your experience is similar to mine.....I gave my son for adoption because I was not financially stable. Later, I was very stable and willing. I have since adopted three children and have had a second biological child. I've had my chance to parent after not being able to with my first child. Yes, there have been losses along the way, but life is good.

hi i actually just asked the person above the same question you just answered for me, could you give me any advice on how i can adopt as i adopted my child when i was 17 years old (financially was unable to have my child and no where to live as my partner was having an affair and chose the other person instead of me and our child, all those years ago the authorities gave him the property as he was older than me i wasnt allowed a place because of my age so i was left homeless pregnant and no money and parents would not help me as had my child out of wed lock. i had no choice on what i could do it strange saying that now because people dont belive my story because of the help avaliable now.

HI i just read your reply and i would like to ask you something as my story is similar to my own,i too adopted when i was young (17 years old) and can not have children i too think like you if i i could have my child now because i could provide a loving home but you cant turn back time as you stated and i agree. what i want to know is can we (me and you) adopt as we adopted our own child ( do the adoption organisations take into account why we had to do it) i would love a child always have especially as i became financially able to provide for a child/

Dear Beebs83- I am in awe of you and women like you. You made a difficult decision, but your selflessness is inspiring. I think as a birth mom, you can easily be filled with doubt and regret, but your intentions to not follow the easier path has potential to bring inordinate joy to the child you were unable to raise at the time you had her and the adoptive parents who wanted her.

For the scared and pregnant women out there- YOU have options. You can choose a closed adoption (no contact) or an open adoption with as much or little contact you want. You can opt for photos and/or letters to update you on the child at regular intervals (quarterly, 2x a year or once a year---up to you). You can have visits with the child (I've heard of quarterly & annual visits, with the latter being more common). You can choose the religion, race & familial environment the baby will be raised in. YOU CALL the shots. You can meet all the prospective parents and if you don't feel comfortable, keep looking. I have heard of adoptive parents who promise everything verbally & then don't do as they promised. Get it in writing! There are wonderful hopeful, adoptive parents out there as well as some crummy ones. I also DO NOT recommend contact with people who say they can help you place your baby and they use hotmail/gmail/yahoo email addresses. These people are unscrupulous baby brokers. Legitimate organizations have REAL email addresses, offices and phone numbers. They must be licensed by the state (ALL states require this). Adoptive parents go through background screening when going through legitimate channels. Legitimate agencies will help you through the pregnancy with medical care, food, rent, clothing and counseling (before, during & after). If someone can't promise you that, keep looking.

As for the people offering to place babies- SHAME ON YOU! Utterly disgusting of you people to prey on others who are going through such an emotionally vulnerable time. You all ought to be reported for unethical practice.

And for those hopeful, adoptive parents- first thing you do is get a home study done. This can take a while and the sooner, the better. All states do this. Then find a reputable agency in your state (you can work with more than one) to walk you through the rest of the process. Don't troll the internet and ask a girl who is looking for emotional support in her decision if you can have her baby. You are a stranger and the act smells of desperation. I know that wanting a child can make you a little batty, but please empathize with the birth mom. She is not having the child to fulfill YOUR needs. That is an unintended benefit. Adoption is about the child, first & foremost. When you adopt a child, the birth mom has given you a selfless gift. Honor that gift. Honor the birth mother who gave your child their life.

I have a VERY similar story to yours. Almost to exact, to be honest. My whole world changed in Dec.2012, and my little girl was born July, 29th 2013. I've been searching for books, blogs, anything to be able to find people who can relate with birth moms. In my case, my uncle and aunt adopted my daughter. Its been such a blessing, but at the same time, the HARDEST part of my life. jealousy has pretty much taken over, now that my daughter is basically a little human being. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Its has helped me see there are others out there.

There are many birthmothers and birthfathers .....most of us have experiences that are marked by silence.

I almost gave my child up for adoption. I didn't. I couldn't make myself do it. I married his father whom I planned on marrying anyway, and we have a beautiful baby boy. I'm so depressed and I wish all the time I had given him to adoption because he would be so much better off because I can't do this, and saying that makes me feel so guilty. :,( I know adoption was hard but it was the right thing to do. The pain will eventually fade, hopefully for both of us. You are strong.

Hello, "Bribe"
I am sorry to hear about you feeling as if deciding to raise your son yourself wasn't the right choice for you. There are many resources/places that may be able to help you/ your new family.
How does your husband feel about adoption?
Many people (including myself) would be honoured to be able to adopt, its never too late :) it's obvious you Love your little one and I wish you strength in the future.

Have you considered that you may have post partum depression? You can still love your child and love that you kept your child.

I gave my Daughter up for adoption, I was a teen,and parents would not allow me to keep her..We met when she was nr 22..she stayed with me for a while..identical to each other, same likes, traits etc..loved her on sight, as i did when she was born. Now we don't speak, she doesn't want to know me.. She is 40 now, and i miss her so much, I see her on fb, and have pictures of her children, my grandchildren, who will never know me, but that's my fate, I gave her up for the best reasons, that she would have a better life than i could give her..In those days there were no council houses handed over to single mums, no benefits etc..I had to work, had nowhere to take her, so did the best thing I could..It hurts every single day, almost as much as the hurt from losing my son at age 25.

I'm 15 and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. This whole experience has been a roller coaster for me. I never planned to have children during high school, because I had my hopes and dreams of being a teenager and getting to actually go to prom and be on the dance team, and be successful and go to college and get married before I had kids. I didn't plan for this, and I'm not with the baby's father. I don't work, and I'm barely capable of taking care of myself, nonetheless a child. Both of my parents have been really supportive the whole time. However, my parents really expect me to keep this child. They keep talking about how fun it'll be to have a baby in the house again. But the thing is, I'm not ready. I know I never should have had sex in the first place, but I did, and now I'm pregnant. But I am not financially or mentally or physically capable of having a child and keeping it at this age. I would prefer to put my baby up for adoption, and let a couple that can't have children or just wants more children give my baby the love and care that I wouldn't be able to give it. I don't know how to tell my parents how I feel, and this whole situation scares me.

Hello there , my husband Nd I have been married for 4 years, we try to conceive but it's not happening=/ so we would love to adopt ur baby(= we want to have a baby and complete our Family, please keep us In ur mind If you decide to give ur baby for adoption,

@ Nolee7
We would love to adopt <3 ur baby,
Hello there we been married for 4 years and we can't have babies=/ we want to adopt a beby and complete our Family (= we want an Open Adoption,
If u decide that adoption is the best for u and ur baby contact us @ rodluv209@gmail.com , we live in California thanks

Hi, I am so desperate to having a baby. I am 40 yrs old. I have so much love for that baby. Are you still willing to give your baby for adoption. Please let me know. God Bless you..

I am adopted! My biological parents made some bad choices that ended in my going into state custody. At about two years old I went into foster care with the people who adopted me two years later. They are wonderful parents, and I am very thankful for them! I grew up knowing that I was adopted, and it has always made me feel special and proud. I have met both of my birth parents, who are no longer together, and I harbor no resentment toward them. I have a much better life now than I would have if I had stayed with them. If they had simply recognized they couldn't take care of me and put me up for adoption at birth, everyone's lives would have been easier. I think that you are so brave for making the right decision! You put your own feelings aside for your child--that is the very essence of a mother's love. You deserve cudos. God bless you.

I'm 19years old and I have a son that will be 1years old in 3months I went threw a really tuff time having my son nd I made it threw no father just me him and god I moved on from my past and became another for the first time taking all risk I decided to talk to this guy who really understood me helped alil with my son I really liked him I opened up nd me and him started hanging out cuple months down the line im pregnant AGAIN but he has moved and we cut things short cuple months back because things just weren't the right time ive searched for 4months for him no luck nd I'm just not ready for another child ive finally got the hang of things with my son .no one knows nd my mom is totally against me giving the baby up for adoption she wants it if thats the case but we live in the same home nd I wouldn't feel right giving her my child to raise im stuck but once again I feel im makin choices for everyone else but myself WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Do whatever it's best for you and your baby(= if u think adoption is the best for your baby u should look for a lovely family that wants to adopt (= There's a lot of people like me <3 can't have baby=/ but I want to adopt a baby and complete our family :-D

An amazing story. I'm in the stages of deciding between abortion and adoption but abortion just doesn't seem fair but I don't know about someone raising my child. and it's going to be hard whichever way, reading your story bought tears to my eyes but it's great to know that I'm not the only one in or who has been in this situation previously. You must be such a strong person and you have my upmost respect for the emotions you must have gone and still do go through. Thank you for sharing. I'm no longer in contact with the father and I have not told anyone yet of my pregnancy, I'm scared that my baby will end up with a horrible family if I give him/her up and I wouldn't be able to live with myself it that we're ever to happen

Clobo, please try to find a local agency that can help you. You should not be afraid, I personally think it's good to talk with your family about it or a good friend. You need some support, I like to pray to find internal pace. If you decide to go for adoption, These days you can place your baby in open adoption, you should be able to see him or her and get news about the baby.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years with no kids, we are in approved by a local agency in texas, hoping to adopt a child an we want to have an open adoption. After reading about all these stories in the blog, I know we made the right decision, we want to help a child but also a mom. I do not want anybody to feel bad for giving us happiness. I think an adoptive child should always be a blessed child full of love and know his or her birth family. You are the owner of your own destiny, do not let anyone decide for you. If in US and considering adoption we can share our profile, let me know. Blessings.

The experiences of birthparents and adoptive parents are so very different. I know because I have placed a son for adoption and I have adopted. Adopting a child feels like a gift from heaven....the child appears and he or she feels like that greatest blessing. When you place a child for adoption it feels like a piece of your heart has been removed, resulting in grief and self doubt. You tell yourself that you have done the right thing, but you have a hard time believing it. It's a hurt that never fully goes away.

Adopting Agency: We are registered and legitimate adoption agency. we spring up young babies for adoptions, we are online 24hrs all day or night to help single mothers and parent to adopt new babies, both white or African babies,girls or boys twin this child adoption ranges from a week old babies to 8years. try our corporations today and you will have us as the best adoption agency world wide. adopt babies from us today and feel the bitterness of having much more kids from us.; Warms regards; email us for a baby adoption today at: SHERRYCHILDADOPTION@HOTMAIL.COM

I was 14 when I found out I was pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy at 15.... I was raped and abuse by the same man, who at the time I was dating off and on within 2 years of known him. I told my mom, who at the time had many health problems. I was her caregiver. I was treated horrible at school for it emotionally and sometimes physically. The so called father tried to give me a miscarriage. My mom's sister wanted me to give the baby up for adoption. While her friends hoped I miscarried. <br />
<br />
I look back now and wonder how did I do it? My son is 14 years old now. He never new his father or his grandma because she passed away when he was a month old. I'm glad I never gave him up. Now at the age of 30 and not able to have anymore kids... I still have my one and only son.

fantastic and what more could a mother want ,you listened to your self and for you, you chosse the right path xxxxxxxx

Hello im 18 years old currently 17 weeks pregnant, well I have a son, im with the father, we are unstable financially and well I really wouldn't mind having another child even if were not ready when it comes to money, I always wanted a big family, but im going through some terrible issues right now im literally mentally unstable for another child, I love my son so much and would not think twice into jumping in front of a bullet for him, but im going through severe depression, anxiety and alot more which I will never let that affect my son but I was thinking about abortion but I could not do it, I was right there at the abortion clinic already but I started crying, im not a bad person im very kind and I try to help people as much as I can I never judge anyone and if I did that I would never let myself stop feeling the guilt of it, so I decided to keep the baby but im only 18 I had my son , when I was 16, dependent on the father, I could not go to school, I have no education, no job, please I need help I want to keep the baby, but im not ready, and I was thinking about adoption, I just need some advice

Hello! I'm new to this site and just wanting to help you out a little. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for the past four years with no luck. We have had two failed IVF's with news that I have endometriosis, and may never be able to conceive a child. We are wanting to adopt, looking into it now. I just want you to know that there rare families out there that are willingly to help you and give you the strength you need to do this. Whether it be keep this baby and feel comfortable about your decision or if it be giving this baby to a family who can't have one. You have to feel what is the right thing in your heart. You can't let anyone else decide this for you. Good luck my dear and I'm here of you need to talk. :) Best wishes to you and your baby!

Thank you it really helps to know that there are some really good people out there who deserve a baby, and I hope to make a miracle for them, people should be excited about a baby sadly it is a very bad time for me so I can not enjoy that amazing feeling but I've made a decision and I hope to see there delighted faces one day, I know it would really hurt me greatly but to know that I made another family complete can put a smile on my face (: I hope I choose the right family I would like to this as an open adoption.

I have all the faith in the world that you will choose the right family, you'll know as soon as you see them. Life just works that way! And there are a lot of families that are willing to do an open adoption, I know that's what we are wanting out of ours. I want to be able to be there for the birth mother if she ever may need me. One day you will be able to see this baby again and see how happy you have made a loving and deserving family. Your such a blessing and don't ever forget that! :)

I wish you luck on your adoption journey and strength to face the road ahead of you. Dont look at it as "giving up"your baby, rather "taking care of his future"

I don't want to sound like a typical adoption mom scouting for children to be able to adopt, but I need to mention my husband and I would love to open our home and hearts to a little one.

Please let us know when you find an agency to help you with your adoption journey

MOM IN CANADA

Sweetheart just take one day at an time Pray at night Then put everything in Gods Hands, Keep Your Angels they was a Gift to You They Mommy,Protector, Ect

Oh my God, do what ever is possible to keep your baby. I don't have one and I wish I did with all my heart, but I can't be selfish to suggest you about adoption. If you love your child that is bleesing that God gave you. Love and care for your baby. God will always be with you and be your guide. God bless you and family very much. You are a very blessed woman.

you are in a situation that requires doctors help and counsellor help you sound like a lovely caring person who already has a child and look at the positives your a fab mum yes you need to believe more in your self you can always go back to education do not worry too much of all the negative think positive and keep looking at your son and remember he is your baby always will be and look at what love you give him and all that love can be shared with your other child and your son will have a brother/sister to love because his love is your love GOOD LUCK REMEMBER TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME XXXXXXX

4 More Responses

Hi Ladies, I am new to this site and I would like to let all of you ladies that are/ might be thinking about giving there child up for adoption bless your heart. My husband and I cant have kids after spending tons of money on fertility. Next month makes 10 years that we have been married and we both are involved in sports and many other things involving kids because we both enjoy them so much. We were lucky enough that we adopted 3 beautiful children even though they werent from birth and were older it didnt matter I was still able to become a mom. Ladies look at this as god is giving you the opportunity to bring life to a family like mine that cant have kids and spread the love of giving your child a life that your not able to at the time. Its not a bad thing and it doesnt make you a bad person. This can actually give you another family in your life if your open to that. My husband and I would love to adopt another one now that our kids are growing older but this time I would like the chance to have a new born baby or and infant. If I can help answer any questions any of you have please ask me I'll gladly help you. :) Also if your needing to talk or thinking about adoption for your child please let me know our family would love to add on. Have a great day!!!

Hi Bee<br />
<br />
My story sounds a lot like yours, I was 25 years old, I too had a bad childhood with a mom who didn't want me and resented me. My father broke his back so he was gone a lot for therapy. So I was treated like I was just bad by my mom, yet was too afraid to be bad. I was on my own at the age of 15 years, and had a very hard life, lucky for me I never got into drugs, I was the great at thinking for every one else, but hated myself for living and existing. When I got pregnant my parents were moving back to Europe, all my friends were moving out of province so I felt extremely alone. I didn't trust authorities because they were never there for me when I was younger. I found out I was pregnant just after my boyfriend left, because I wasn't enough, he wanted a variety... When I found out I was pregnant, he didn't deny being the father, but wanted no part of it, I was crushed, I hadn't had control of my temper yet, so it was so hard for me, I was scared of doing to my child what my mom did to me. I too went to an adoption agency, and choose the parents. I was lied to by the adoptive mom, she only wanted my child. I respect her very much for all she did for my child, and had also let me be part of her life. I tried to never interfere with the up bring, she divorced and needed my assistance to help look after her natural son and my birth daughter, I am very grateful for that time with her. But she would never let me put down my child at night only her son, I later left and later when my girl was 16, the adoptive mom asked me to come back as they were my family. We had told my daughter that she was adopted when she was 9 years old, we waited too long, my birth daughter resented me and to this day still does, and I think due to her adoptive mom worried that my child and I would get to close, she poisoned her against me, so since my girl was sixteen now 25 years old, she wants nothing to do with me and it kills me all the time, especially come mother's day. I keep hoping she will try to contact me and ask me to be part of her life.... She will call my mother, but won't have anything to do with me, if not for me forcing my mother to acknowledge her, they wouldn't have any kind of connection. So it hurts me that I went from being the good person to tried to make sure to the one who seems to be the bad one, yet I was the one who just wanted to have the extended family, the love of the adoptive mother's son, and her like a sister to me to my child getting to adoptive mom to pushing me right out. Never would I have ever tried taking my child from her, we both had enough love to share, so now I still hurt for not having that love! So open adoption is great! But make sure you are going to be able to let know, to this day, the Christmas time and Mother's day is extremely hard for me and I wait to have my child want me to be part of her life again, in the mean time I sit on the side lines and watch, pray and hope to share her life again with her adoptive mom who was like my older sister. Adoption is great! I could never have given my child what she was give, and the self-esteem she needs for life, as her adoptive mom did, and I will always be grateful for that! But adoption is not easy, by any means.

I am 24 weeks pregnant with a boy Nolan and my fiance and I have finally decided to give up our son for adoption. When I first found out i was pregnant i was so elated but scared because I had recently had a stillborn in october 2013. I was scared he would be stillborn to but i go to the doctor and my dad is a doctor and we hear his little heartbeat everyday. I've been upset thinking about it wondering if its right ive wanted a son for so long and im getting that chance and now i want to give him away. We have a 5 year old little girl who recently won her battle with childhood cancer her name is Avelynn. She's all we've ever asked for and almost losing her made me want to still spend as much time with her as i can. I spend almost every waking minute with her. I don't know if I can do it or not seeing him grow up in a different family. What do I do were ready for a baby but at the same time with our jobs having us away a lot i dont want to put him through all the stress of that. Our daughter goes with me wherever i go but we didn't have these jobs when she was born shes only dealt with this for 2 years i dont know if we can do it with a baby.

What should I do?

We are looking to have a family we have no children and are unable to conceive. We have been married for 3 years. We have a lot of love to give. I hope you contact us.

I hope you do find a great family, very truly sorry but my fiance and i have decided to keep him he was born later that night when i posted that. He's currently in the nicu and is being treated for being so premature. Hope all works out for you and your husband and you get a son or daughter in the near future.

Thanks and good luck.

Your welcome and thank you for understanding

1 More Response

Hi, can anyone help me with some advice. I am pregnant and want to give up my baby for adoption bc the father has anger issues. We broke up before i found out i was pregnant and dont want him to know. Advice?

please contact me if you decide it is best for you and the baby to put of for adoption. My husband and I can't have children and are wanting to adopt

I recommend you drop all contact with him, he is not worth having in your life, as hard as that may be for you during this time. If you feel that you can not manage to be completely away from him during the whole duration of your pregnancy because of him intruding your space, I suggest you move to a different city and inform your family and friends to not say a word of your whereabouts to him or anyone for that matter. I'm not sure where you are located, but use Google to search nearby adoption agencies, and I don't know your beliefs, but I highly recommend that if when the time comes you do decide it would be better for the child to grow up with a different family, look into meeting a Christian family of the listings in your area. Be sure to get to know them, get comfortable with them, and you will see if this may be a good fit for your child or not.
I would like to warn you to NOT give your child away to someone on the internet, for people are very capable of scamming people for anything, and the last thing you want to even RISK is a child's well-being. Do not accept any form of payment from them either!! Like I have said before, go to an adoption agency. I wish you all the best, Sleexayh.

Hi sleexayh, I don't know all your reasons for breaking up with your ex and I understand you say he has anger issues but let me tell you about my story from a guys point of view. I don't know if you've already decided what to do with your baby yet as this was written a while ago but I do want you to know that I was in this same situation with my at the time ex girlfriend. We were separated at the time she had found out she was pregnant and she didn't tell me until a week before she had our little guy. She said she was scared of what I would've said, she was scared I would be angry with her or that I would try to make her have an abortion. So she told me that she had already found an adoptive family. Long story short she gave our son up and four months later I still don't have a day go by that I don't think about my son. Everyday I wish she would've just came to me and we could've talked everything out. We are back together now and very happy in our relationship but like I said we are both very depressed and regretting the decision that was made. I'm not saying that you should tell him but I'm just saying from a guy that has been in your ex boyfriends position that it kills me to know everyday that my son is growing up without me. I hope that if you do give your child up for adoption that it is to a Christian family as KalyoSakura mentioned below but I do recommend very very highly that you try with all of your power to keep your baby and do everything you can to protect and support that baby because I can't guaranteed that you'll regret giving your child up but I know my fiancé thought that giving our son away was best at the time and now four months later I find her crying almost everyday still because of the decision. I hope things turn out great for you and your ex either way and I will definitely be praying for you and your decision, have a great day:)

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thanks for sharing your story from a guys point of view i am so sorry for you and your fiancee ,as it was only four months ago can the courts not change the order, as in england once you decide to adopt and the child is with the adopted parents it doesnt become final untill a year later when you have to sign the papers for the court to give the adoption family the final piece of having the child,i would advise you to contact someone and check your options NOW before it gets to late. GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTHxxxx

I fully understand. I had 5 kids by the time i was 27. I love them all dearly but its hard. I have helped talk to several young girls.
We are actually wanting to adopt and have several references and a profile. I cant have anymore n the guy i been w for 13yrs dont n cant have kids. Instead we have 5 pomaranian puppies we spoil. Lol. Our Gabbie had 3 puppies so that makes 5. I have 7 beautiful grandbabies. We do so much. Camp. Travel. Carnivals. Parades. Fairs. Festivals. Lol.
I am here if u just need to talk. I talk to n help around 19 kids now.
God Bless n much love
If u contact me i can give u my number n all so we can talk.

I keep reading your post. I pray you dont take him back. Ever. So many young girls are just like u. No female deserves to be treated with anger. A female deserves Respect. Love. Safety. Courage. Support. Pray n let God lead u where u and your baby needs. Ok.
God Bless. You r a very brave woman no matter what. Much love.

We would love to adopt your baby and pay any expensive. We are a loving married couple. I hope you contact us.

I understand what your going through. .When I was 22 I gave up my son, so he can have a better life. I grew up with an abusive father and my boyfriend at the time was very abusive as well. I found out I was pregnant 2 months after we broke up. I went to get an abortion it was too late I was farther along than I thought. Not only was I not ready but I did not want my child to go through the same thing I went through growing up. I needed to come clean with the father I reached out and I told him. He was supportive but wanted me to keep him. I chose the family and I chose the day of delivery not to see my son because I knew if I did I would keep him. My family doesn't know I was pregnant I never really showed , 4 friends knew. One of those "friends" spread it around that I gave up my child, u don't deny or agree it's no one business. I do not regret my decision because it was the right choice. But I think about him everyday, I cry sometimes by myself because it's hard letting go. It's harder now getting older I want to tell my family but it might be too late. I have a boyfriend now that I have been with for over 3 yrs who questioned the adoption I didn't deny or agree. Life will be hard but you will get through it... do I think your ex boyfriend should know? Yes but only you can make that choice.

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i am happy that i and my Ex are back again and he already told me he needs me and wants to stay with me forever, dr.marnish@yahoo.com is the greatest!! with his spell all this happened, you can reach him on this number +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

My daughter is 2 and a half and I can moo longer support her fully and I just want Wats best for her so a friend of mine adopted her.it is so hard dealing with it. It has now been 3 weeks and my daughter don't want to visit me.it hurts more than I could have ever imagined. But she is happy and well taken care of.

Visit her with balloons and remind her all the time that you love her. Remember, she is only a toddler and isn't capable of understanding your situation quite yet. When she gets a little bit older though, (maybe 6 months older, because the earlier will definitely be the better at her age,) do try to inform her that you can't take care of her due to your health issue, financial issue, emotional issue, which ever the issue is that caused it. She doesn't want to see you because she thinks you don't love her anymore, but keep showing up anyway with toys and snacks that she likes. Kids can't deny that bubbles and balloons are awesome, and if you keep apologizing sooner or later she will understand. All the best.

don't take it to heart shes still little and doesn't understand. Bring her a toy or something or when you get a chance and have the time and money take her out for ice cream or something shell enjoy. take her to the park

I understand this is a very old topic, however; I'd like to add my twos. I got pregnant when i was 16. The guy i was with i knew for a few months prior and he was 20. We had a, huge falling out after i was three months in..i had thought about abortion, but at that time the option was too late. I struggled with the decision of either keeping him (which meant I'd probably be working minimum wage job, going no where fast.) Or I'd put him up for adoption (which, yes, is partially selfish. I'd have someone else to raise him while i was able to get an education, be able to make stupid decisions, and not be one of those parents who are 40 but still act like children because they never got TNT chance). I ended up calling an adoption place using a phone book. Everything was done over the phone, i called the couple a few times but i was terribly awkward and had no idea what to say. They lived in a different state, so i never got the chance to meet them until i was done with labor. One of my biggest regrets..is when i was talking to another girl at school, she told me that holding her made her change her mind. So, of course, i chose not to hold him. I constantly think of him, constantly wonder: is he ok? Will he understand? Is he going to hate me? I'm...completely unsure I everything about him. It breaks my heart, reading about these things. Its not an easy decision, and no one should have to listen about how one way is better than the other. I'm 23 and found out that when you're in an argument with people and they know about your adoption history, its the first thing they'll use when they want to hurt you. Hold your head up high!

I was that way adoption was ready and final just had to wait on the baby well he was born premature i got to hold him maybe a minute or two and i couldnt give him up i was so so afraid to loose him with the fear of i had almost lost my daughter. I talked with my fiance about it and he said that we would keep him and he wouldn't leave us. Don't be afraid to call and ask if your to afraid to talk over the phone ask for an address so you can mail a letter and ask how he is.

Hi I was curious would u like to have a penpal to write. I had a baby at 19 yrs old so I kno that it's hard. I kept mine but I thought about adoption. I'm 27 now n would like to give emotional support

Hey would you be up to talk now ? My girlfriend and I are on the fence about adoption I'm looking for maybe a little advice

hi my name is sierra. im going through a very tough time in my life. when i was 15 i became pregnant by my highschool teacher. i never was able to graduate, i cant get a job because i dont have people to watch him and i can barely aford gas, diapers, electric or anything. basically i can barely care for myself. i love this little boy with everything in me. but love doesnt provide for him. i just need some help on knowing what to do. i want to see my son everyday and watch him grow and excel... but i cant do anything without relying on someone else

Hello my name is Melissa. I'm 28 yrs old and can not have any babies. :( me and my husband have been trying for years now! We would love to adopt but the fees through an agency is really high! I have so much respect to the women out there that do give there baby up for adoption than abortion. Y'all women are strong and have a big heart. Knowing if you can't give your baby a good life there is someone who can. Me having a baby will be a dream come true! May god bless you all in this difficult time!

It will get better and there are places that help single mother's. But I understand 100% I have 2 kids and one on the way and I'm 21 trust me thing's will get better.

if i lived close to you i would help you out in a heart beat. i can not have any babies cause i had cancer.

Hi sweetie I would like to talk more with u and see how I can help leave me an email or something. Thanks

This is horrible I'm just had a baby boy and I'm in a very bad money situation too you have to get a hold of a social worker not the children's aid! But they can help you big time with good and diapers you need to get on those programs that will help you out I can't believe no one else replied to you

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Some of these comments are disgusting. Ladies we live in the 20th century life is hard and if you like it or not these woman that gave these babies up for adoption are stronger than you will ever be. The best thing a mother can do is do what's right for the child!! I can guarantee most unselfish people would rather there child grow up into a loving caring positive environment not a broken home where the parents feel as though they have to stop there life and look after the child. This God crap is bullshit. Where is God when you have a screaming baby where is God when they are teething when they won't settle where is he when a mum just needs 5 minutes to herself to have a break where is he when the bills roll in where is he huh? Do what's right for you and the child don't feel guilty feel proud that you can raise it or feel proud your letting others raise your child and giving her an actual future that you couldn't

Your Awsome thank you

I have to say I am very proud of you. You don't need to be ashamed of adopting your child. You did the RIGHT thing. First, you chose life! that is a huge descision in and of itself. secondly, you gave your child a life that has the potential to be more healthy and better than you could give him/her at this current time. Im currently 5 months pregnant, and giving my child up for adoption and even though its soooo hard, I know that it is the best thing for my baby boy. Praying for you! Don't give up on yourself.

Well said

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

when a woman gives up her child for adoption she has to live with that decision for the rest of her life. My experience has been the pain and regret just grows over time. It can become unbearable. Comments like "You are brave/courageous" or "You are giving such a gift" are maybe said with good intentions, but really they are extremely manipulative. We know why we are giving our children away. We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone. We know our babies and we ourselves will be shunned by the "decent" women of the world. The women who get our children. The aftermath can be disastrous. You may never "Get on with your life". You may never be able to look at a child and then adult the same age as your child without wondering, hoping that you have found him at last. I have rarely spoken of my past as it really is just to painful to put into words. I have read children who are adopted can struggle with their own set of painful issues I once heard a heard a pastor say "Look at Mary. She was young. Just a teenager really, but God chose her to be a mother." So if God believes you can be a good mother even though you are young who is everyone else to tell you you can't be. You know something else God will help you raise that baby if you go to him. Whatever you do don't give up your child trying to do something valiant to make up for how guilty you feel about the whole situation. Maybe the best gift you can give your baby is yourself.

"We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone"......these words capture my experience as a birthfather.

TRUE TO EVERY WORD THANK GOD SOMEONE ON HERE SPEAKS TRUTHFULLY XXXX

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

Hi , I'm an African American . I am currently 2 months pregnant . Giving my child up is the only choice I have. Yes I'm still with the father and we both has made this choice . I read so many stories on here. Some are scary and some are nice. No I don't think this is a easy fix but I don't want to kill a baby . I really don't know where to find am agency . Can anyone help.

I can't help with the adoption agency bc I don't know what state u live in but I'd like to be a pen pal for u if u r interested. We can write letters n they will stay between u n i. I want to offer emotional support. My name is Sara plz message me n let me know

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

Look through a phone book or search it on Google, as I'm warning everyone who is in the same vulnerable position, do NOT even consider giving your child up for adoption to someone from the internet! Sure there is a chance they are what they claim, but there is a chance they are not and have selfish intentions pertaining to your gift from God.
Please respond and let me know if you have found a place/family.
I wish you all the best.

Hi me and my husband have been married for going on two years and we are unable to conceive. We would love to adopt your baby and cover any expensive. Going through and agency is very expensive. We have a lot of love to give we are African American and working couple. Please consider us.

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I am a 28 year old successful woman. I have been in the process of adopting a baby for months. The stress and uncertainity that the adoptive families have is nothing compared to a biological family. Unfortunately there are people in the world that will never understand or agree with adoption but there are plenty of us that are advocates. I think that people tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. I think that any woman or family that feels that adoption is the best for that baby then everyone should respect your decision. I have not given up a child but i have had a few heartbreaks of attempting to concieve only to not be successful. I hope any woman that is strong enough to make this decision receives the support from someone. You are doing an amazing thing for a family that deserves and has worked for a baby.

For the lady 5 months of my pregnancy I was certain and set on adoption. My boyfriend is completely against it. We just had our baby yesterday and we have thirty days to figure out a way to keep our child. We met the adoptive parents for the first time yesterday and don't like them at all. This whole situation doesn't feel right and although I know we are giving a couple something very special they can not have on their own all I can think about is regret and guilt. As well as our little boy growing up with the wrong parents and not the right understanding and love. There must be a reason this couple can't have kids. So who am I to give them my own when he is our responsibility. Twenty nine days to find a way to keep him and we will do whatever it takes. We only signed temporary custody papers so it's not final. We will continue to pray and let God lead us in the right direction. I know I can be a wonderful mother and I can't make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.

I noticed you posted this in December, may I ask what the end result was?

If you are considering adoption, read this:
My name is Emily (not the Emily from above) and I was adopted when I was a baby. I have 3 other adopted siblings. Adoption is a wonderful gift you can give to a child without a family. And if you are worried your baby will hate you, don't be. I am so grateful that my birth mother put my needs first and made sacrifices to ensure I had the best life possible. It is hard not being able to know anything about my family until I am 18 apart form what my mom knows and I do wish I had an open adoption, but nevertheless adoption is an amazing thing worth considering. I hope this helped make your decision easier

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.