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I Gave My Baby Up For Adoption Over a Year Ago

On April 1, 2007 I found out that I was almost 2 months pregnant. I was so scared. It was my first pregnancy. I felt really alone. I had a bad childhood and I was so scared to bring a child into this world. I didn't want to have an abortion because I was scared and I didn't think it was right. I had only told a few people that I was pregnant. The father knew. I had dated him for almost a year on and off. I had just broken up with him less than a month before I found out I was pregnant. He was incredibly supportive. He wanted me to do what I thought was best. I never told anyone in my family that I was pregnant. Only a very few friends. On October 31, 2007 I contacted an adoption agency that I found on line. I met with 2 of the counselors and we discussed how the adoption process went. I hadn't gone to any doctors before this. I was so scared. I somewhat lived in denial. I know it was pretty stupid but I felt that maybe if I ignored everything... just maybe it would go away. Obviously that didn't happen. I went to the doctor for the first time a week later. They were kind of mad that I hadn't had any check ups at all yet. I made plans with the counselors of the adoption agency to look through books of families so I could choose one for the baby. The adoption agency supports open adoptions. I picked out a family based on the books. On November 20, 2007 at 12:00 am I went into the hospital so I would be induced for labor. The counselors came with me and stayed with me the whole time. I had my roomate and her mother there at the hospital. I still hadn't told my family about the pregnancy. I didn't live in the same town as my family and I avoided seeing them as much as I could so I wouldn't have to answer any questions. I had Emily on November 20, 2007 at 7:00 pm. She was only 5 pounds 9 ounces. She was such a tiny baby. I held her for a few minutes and just looked at this wonderful baby that I had somehow brought into this world. I met the adoptive parents that day before I had the baby. I had the opportunity to ask any questions that I wanted. They told me how excited they were to have a baby. They told me how thankful they were to recieve this gift. A few weeks later, I went to court to sign my rights away. That was one of the hardest days in my life. I had created a baby and brought her into this world. I had so much guilt in me. I knew what I had done was for the best, but it still doesn't take all of those bad feelings away. I have recieved pictures of Emily 3 times over the last year. It's amazing to look at those pictures and to see all the physical traits that she had from me and her father. She's such a healthy little girl. I still have those feelings of guilt at times. I'm in the process of making an album with her dad. It's going to consist of pictures and stories and letters to her to let her know that she's loved so much. The adoptive parents will tell her when the time is right that she's adopted. And one of these days.. when she becomes older.. she'll be able to write a letter to me. I just hope that she's happy and that when she finds out she was adopted.. that she won't hate me. I don't regret giving her up. I know that what I did was best for her. It just feels like I'm missing something. I wanted to join some kind of support group so that people who have been in the same situation... maybe we can help each other get through this. It's such a long hard process.. but I wouldn't change anything about it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope if someone out there is thinking of giving their baby up for adoption... maybe this story will help you. I've been there... and I understand. Thank you.

beebs83 beebs83 22-25, F 91 Responses May 24, 2009

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Hello we do have a 9 month old boy also with a 1 year old girl under the care of our church both children are Caucasian.We are willing to give out for adoption.If you are interested then contact Rev sister for more information, You can visit the church and see the kids if you can travel we have and we were advice that they are childless parent on this site willing to adopt. You can email rev for more information. I am just a church member so when you contact the rev sister she shall answer all your questions and will provide you with more information about the children and why they are up for adoption . She will send you all the information and if you are interested in adopting any of the babies then i shall be very happy . Her email address is revsistercatherinalisa1960gmail.com am called Elvira Babooza
Her email is revsistercatherinalisa1960gmail.com Her name is Rev Catherine Lisa

I jsut found out im 22 weeks pregnant that 5 months pregnant. I am giving it up for adoption and i have only known for a week. Due Dec 15 and im having a boy..

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy October 2010. I was still in school, just turning 18, was scared and confused. I told my parents at the last minute (I was already 7 months) dad was upset but wanted me to go to the doctor to make sure we were both healthy. Mom was furious. The guy that got me pregnant was in the closet and we fought all the time. We were in foreclosure, I didn't know where I was going to live or even if I would be living in the same house as my parents. I knew I had to give him up. He went to my neighbors sister she had all girls and wanted a boy. She was their when I delivered, so was mom, but the father was too busy and couldn't be bothered.... I knew I did the right thing. I never held my son and I regret that. It still hurts me to this day because I held everything in and never sheded a tear. I never delt with the pain. I know how hard it can be. You and all of the mothers that gave their kids up for adoption are VERY STRONG. It is never an easy decision.

I gave my son up un 2011, at first I guess it had not sunk in, like I was never pregnant. Now I'm having a very difficult time. I'm not sure how to deal with it, weather I want to try and have one now that my life is stable, I just feel so horrible. I know my decision was best for him in many ways but I feel guilty and a million other things all at once. Not sure what I'm gonna do. Life is empty now. I literally feel like my body is screwed up its supposed to be mothering and nurturing a child and without any kid it almost physically hurts I'm not doing what nature has prepared my body for, for however Long we have been on this earth.

I admire the fact that your counselors came with you and helped you out in the process. Not telling your family must of been extremely stressful at times. My friend is adopted and he still knows nothing about his real family. I don't know how he would feel if he did. I admire your courage in giving your baby up for adoption. http://www.achildsdream.org/birth-parents.html

Read this website and then come back and tell how you still feel about it. I remember when my 15 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. I was there at the hospital and I told her to bring her baby home. Today she has a beautiful 10 year old daughter that she raised. I wouldn't want it any other way http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

My thoughts are with you beebs. I was forced to give my baby up for adoption in 1976, it almost broke my heart, but my girl got back in contact with me years later, she has a long term b/f now, and a 6 month old son of her own, and my girl has suggested meeting so that I can see my grandson. That is almost worth all the pain and the tears. There were no support groups back then, no internet, but I feel for you, I really do. Bless x

The thing about adopting families people don't realize is, it takes A LOT of work to adopt a child. It takes commitment and dedication just to have a chance.
I adopted my little girl due to a similar situation. And I was worried the family I had chosen wouldn't be good enough or couldn't love her like I do.
I was completely wrong. The mother I picked (went through an agency and all that) can not have children. She's already endured a miscarriage.. I feel for her.
Also, her and her family were waiting 2+ years to adopt! They did everything right, had a lawyer, went through the adoption agency's process, and waited and waited. When she finally met my daughter, she was in tears because she had been waiting for so long.
And yes, I miss her terribly. I still cry a mess of confusing emotions. I'll always love my little one. Always, but I couldn't be happier for her. Through all the heart ache and struggle I have no regret. To anyone else going through this, do what you think is best.

You are not alone.

Adoption is NEVER best! Read on...
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

I understand, the love of being mother, I got pregnant when i was 18 had a girl then at 22 i had a son. I give God thanks because i cannot have another one. Children are a blessing and most times they don't come when you want them then to come, they come when God plant the seed in you or become a parent through adoption. IT was not easy for me but thank God i made it.
Now my niece is 18years old and pregnant 5 months, her mother throw her out of her home, my mom took her in, my mom is 72 years old the child don't even know how to was her own underwear. Now my mom has a problem as she states she cannot raise another child she has arthritis in her hands, So Today i was in church i got a text from her. her exact words good morning auntie I was thinking about doing and abortion is it possible for you to help me with getting the money to do it. I was in church i was so upset an abortion on my head. I told her no i will do no such thing, however since she don't want it i will her her find someone to adopt this child. Anyone here can tell me how to go about it. She lives in Jamaica, I was wiling to help her but i am not financially to support this child and give the child all that it needs.
anyone can direct me in the direction please advise.. I need someone who will love this child and give it a home with lots of love and yes a possible open adoption,


Philisher

Geewizz i get tears when I read your story, cause mine is almost exactly the same!! At that time of my live I was young and didn't have a work so I knew that adoption was the right thing to do for my child. Even though I think about my little girl still every day (its been 7 years now). Today I am a qualified registered nurse with my own house and car and no debt, sometimes I think to myself if only I can have my girl back cause I am more than able and willing to give any child a good live now. But I know it is impossible and that she has a loving family of her own now. I am considering to adopt a baby myself now cause I know the need is there and as I said I am emotionally and financially ready now for a child and there is no shortage in love!! Good luck in everything you do, may God bless you for the love you gave to your child by not being selfish. Adoption is the biggest gift you can ever give somebody.

your experience is similar to mine.....I gave my son for adoption because I was not financially stable. Later, I was very stable and willing. I have since adopted three children and have had a second biological child. I've had my chance to parent after not being able to with my first child. Yes, there have been losses along the way, but life is good.

hi i actually just asked the person above the same question you just answered for me, could you give me any advice on how i can adopt as i adopted my child when i was 17 years old (financially was unable to have my child and no where to live as my partner was having an affair and chose the other person instead of me and our child, all those years ago the authorities gave him the property as he was older than me i wasnt allowed a place because of my age so i was left homeless pregnant and no money and parents would not help me as had my child out of wed lock. i had no choice on what i could do it strange saying that now because people dont belive my story because of the help avaliable now.

HI i just read your reply and i would like to ask you something as my story is similar to my own,i too adopted when i was young (17 years old) and can not have children i too think like you if i i could have my child now because i could provide a loving home but you cant turn back time as you stated and i agree. what i want to know is can we (me and you) adopt as we adopted our own child ( do the adoption organisations take into account why we had to do it) i would love a child always have especially as i became financially able to provide for a child/

What adoption is really all about...
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

2 More Responses

Dear Beebs83- I am in awe of you and women like you. You made a difficult decision, but your selflessness is inspiring. I think as a birth mom, you can easily be filled with doubt and regret, but your intentions to not follow the easier path has potential to bring inordinate joy to the child you were unable to raise at the time you had her and the adoptive parents who wanted her.

For the scared and pregnant women out there- YOU have options. You can choose a closed adoption (no contact) or an open adoption with as much or little contact you want. You can opt for photos and/or letters to update you on the child at regular intervals (quarterly, 2x a year or once a year---up to you). You can have visits with the child (I've heard of quarterly & annual visits, with the latter being more common). You can choose the religion, race & familial environment the baby will be raised in. YOU CALL the shots. You can meet all the prospective parents and if you don't feel comfortable, keep looking. I have heard of adoptive parents who promise everything verbally & then don't do as they promised. Get it in writing! There are wonderful hopeful, adoptive parents out there as well as some crummy ones. I also DO NOT recommend contact with people who say they can help you place your baby and they use hotmail/gmail/yahoo email addresses. These people are unscrupulous baby brokers. Legitimate organizations have REAL email addresses, offices and phone numbers. They must be licensed by the state (ALL states require this). Adoptive parents go through background screening when going through legitimate channels. Legitimate agencies will help you through the pregnancy with medical care, food, rent, clothing and counseling (before, during & after). If someone can't promise you that, keep looking.

As for the people offering to place babies- SHAME ON YOU! Utterly disgusting of you people to prey on others who are going through such an emotionally vulnerable time. You all ought to be reported for unethical practice.

And for those hopeful, adoptive parents- first thing you do is get a home study done. This can take a while and the sooner, the better. All states do this. Then find a reputable agency in your state (you can work with more than one) to walk you through the rest of the process. Don't troll the internet and ask a girl who is looking for emotional support in her decision if you can have her baby. You are a stranger and the act smells of desperation. I know that wanting a child can make you a little batty, but please empathize with the birth mom. She is not having the child to fulfill YOUR needs. That is an unintended benefit. Adoption is about the child, first & foremost. When you adopt a child, the birth mom has given you a selfless gift. Honor that gift. Honor the birth mother who gave your child their life.

I have a VERY similar story to yours. Almost to exact, to be honest. My whole world changed in Dec.2012, and my little girl was born July, 29th 2013. I've been searching for books, blogs, anything to be able to find people who can relate with birth moms. In my case, my uncle and aunt adopted my daughter. Its been such a blessing, but at the same time, the HARDEST part of my life. jealousy has pretty much taken over, now that my daughter is basically a little human being. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Its has helped me see there are others out there.

There are many birthmothers and birthfathers .....most of us have experiences that are marked by silence.

I almost gave my child up for adoption. I didn't. I couldn't make myself do it. I married his father whom I planned on marrying anyway, and we have a beautiful baby boy. I'm so depressed and I wish all the time I had given him to adoption because he would be so much better off because I can't do this, and saying that makes me feel so guilty. :,( I know adoption was hard but it was the right thing to do. The pain will eventually fade, hopefully for both of us. You are strong.

Hello, "Bribe"
I am sorry to hear about you feeling as if deciding to raise your son yourself wasn't the right choice for you. There are many resources/places that may be able to help you/ your new family.
How does your husband feel about adoption?
Many people (including myself) would be honoured to be able to adopt, its never too late :) it's obvious you Love your little one and I wish you strength in the future.

Have you considered that you may have post partum depression? You can still love your child and love that you kept your child.

Don't believe adoption is better. It's not! Read what some of these mothers have to say...
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

I gave my Daughter up for adoption, I was a teen,and parents would not allow me to keep her..We met when she was nr 22..she stayed with me for a while..identical to each other, same likes, traits etc..loved her on sight, as i did when she was born. Now we don't speak, she doesn't want to know me.. She is 40 now, and i miss her so much, I see her on fb, and have pictures of her children, my grandchildren, who will never know me, but that's my fate, I gave her up for the best reasons, that she would have a better life than i could give her..In those days there were no council houses handed over to single mums, no benefits etc..I had to work, had nowhere to take her, so did the best thing I could..It hurts every single day, almost as much as the hurt from losing my son at age 25.

I'm 15 and 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. This whole experience has been a roller coaster for me. I never planned to have children during high school, because I had my hopes and dreams of being a teenager and getting to actually go to prom and be on the dance team, and be successful and go to college and get married before I had kids. I didn't plan for this, and I'm not with the baby's father. I don't work, and I'm barely capable of taking care of myself, nonetheless a child. Both of my parents have been really supportive the whole time. However, my parents really expect me to keep this child. They keep talking about how fun it'll be to have a baby in the house again. But the thing is, I'm not ready. I know I never should have had sex in the first place, but I did, and now I'm pregnant. But I am not financially or mentally or physically capable of having a child and keeping it at this age. I would prefer to put my baby up for adoption, and let a couple that can't have children or just wants more children give my baby the love and care that I wouldn't be able to give it. I don't know how to tell my parents how I feel, and this whole situation scares me.

Hello there , my husband Nd I have been married for 4 years, we try to conceive but it's not happening=/ so we would love to adopt ur baby(= we want to have a baby and complete our Family, please keep us In ur mind If you decide to give ur baby for adoption,

If you can't have a child of your own, accept it amd move on with your life! Don't take a child from a mother! Read some of these stories! Hopefully you will change your mind and decide to stay childless. If the Lord wanted you to have children, he would have gave you the gift to conceive!
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

@ Nolee7
We would love to adopt <3 ur baby,
Hello there we been married for 4 years and we can't have babies=/ we want to adopt a beby and complete our Family (= we want an Open Adoption,
If u decide that adoption is the best for u and ur baby contact us @ rodluv209@gmail.com , we live in California thanks

Don't lie! You know you don't want an open adoption! You are just like all the rest. Once you get your hands on a baby, you will forget that the birth mother ever existed! If you were meant to have children, the Lord would have blessed you with your own. Read the horror birth mothers really go through.
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

Hi, I am so desperate to having a baby. I am 40 yrs old. I have so much love for that baby. Are you still willing to give your baby for adoption. Please let me know. God Bless you..

Don't give your baby up! Read this!
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html

4 More Responses

I am adopted! My biological parents made some bad choices that ended in my going into state custody. At about two years old I went into foster care with the people who adopted me two years later. They are wonderful parents, and I am very thankful for them! I grew up knowing that I was adopted, and it has always made me feel special and proud. I have met both of my birth parents, who are no longer together, and I harbor no resentment toward them. I have a much better life now than I would have if I had stayed with them. If they had simply recognized they couldn't take care of me and put me up for adoption at birth, everyone's lives would have been easier. I think that you are so brave for making the right decision! You put your own feelings aside for your child--that is the very essence of a mother's love. You deserve cudos. God bless you.

I'm 19years old and I have a son that will be 1years old in 3months I went threw a really tuff time having my son nd I made it threw no father just me him and god I moved on from my past and became another for the first time taking all risk I decided to talk to this guy who really understood me helped alil with my son I really liked him I opened up nd me and him started hanging out cuple months down the line im pregnant AGAIN but he has moved and we cut things short cuple months back because things just weren't the right time ive searched for 4months for him no luck nd I'm just not ready for another child ive finally got the hang of things with my son .no one knows nd my mom is totally against me giving the baby up for adoption she wants it if thats the case but we live in the same home nd I wouldn't feel right giving her my child to raise im stuck but once again I feel im makin choices for everyone else but myself WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Do whatever it's best for you and your baby(= if u think adoption is the best for your baby u should look for a lovely family that wants to adopt (= There's a lot of people like me <3 can't have baby=/ but I want to adopt a baby and complete our family :-D

An amazing story. I'm in the stages of deciding between abortion and adoption but abortion just doesn't seem fair but I don't know about someone raising my child. and it's going to be hard whichever way, reading your story bought tears to my eyes but it's great to know that I'm not the only one in or who has been in this situation previously. You must be such a strong person and you have my upmost respect for the emotions you must have gone and still do go through. Thank you for sharing. I'm no longer in contact with the father and I have not told anyone yet of my pregnancy, I'm scared that my baby will end up with a horrible family if I give him/her up and I wouldn't be able to live with myself it that we're ever to happen

Clobo, please try to find a local agency that can help you. You should not be afraid, I personally think it's good to talk with your family about it or a good friend. You need some support, I like to pray to find internal pace. If you decide to go for adoption, These days you can place your baby in open adoption, you should be able to see him or her and get news about the baby.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years with no kids, we are in approved by a local agency in texas, hoping to adopt a child an we want to have an open adoption. After reading about all these stories in the blog, I know we made the right decision, we want to help a child but also a mom. I do not want anybody to feel bad for giving us happiness. I think an adoptive child should always be a blessed child full of love and know his or her birth family. You are the owner of your own destiny, do not let anyone decide for you. If in US and considering adoption we can share our profile, let me know. Blessings.

The experiences of birthparents and adoptive parents are so very different. I know because I have placed a son for adoption and I have adopted. Adopting a child feels like a gift from heaven....the child appears and he or she feels like that greatest blessing. When you place a child for adoption it feels like a piece of your heart has been removed, resulting in grief and self doubt. You tell yourself that you have done the right thing, but you have a hard time believing it. It's a hurt that never fully goes away.

Adopting Agency: We are registered and legitimate adoption agency. we spring up young babies for adoptions, we are online 24hrs all day or night to help single mothers and parent to adopt new babies, both white or African babies,girls or boys twin this child adoption ranges from a week old babies to 8years. try our corporations today and you will have us as the best adoption agency world wide. adopt babies from us today and feel the bitterness of having much more kids from us.; Warms regards; email us for a baby adoption today at: SHERRYCHILDADOPTION@HOTMAIL.COM

I was 14 when I found out I was pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy at 15.... I was raped and abuse by the same man, who at the time I was dating off and on within 2 years of known him. I told my mom, who at the time had many health problems. I was her caregiver. I was treated horrible at school for it emotionally and sometimes physically. The so called father tried to give me a miscarriage. My mom's sister wanted me to give the baby up for adoption. While her friends hoped I miscarried. <br />
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I look back now and wonder how did I do it? My son is 14 years old now. He never new his father or his grandma because she passed away when he was a month old. I'm glad I never gave him up. Now at the age of 30 and not able to have anymore kids... I still have my one and only son.

fantastic and what more could a mother want ,you listened to your self and for you, you chosse the right path xxxxxxxx

Hello im 18 years old currently 17 weeks pregnant, well I have a son, im with the father, we are unstable financially and well I really wouldn't mind having another child even if were not ready when it comes to money, I always wanted a big family, but im going through some terrible issues right now im literally mentally unstable for another child, I love my son so much and would not think twice into jumping in front of a bullet for him, but im going through severe depression, anxiety and alot more which I will never let that affect my son but I was thinking about abortion but I could not do it, I was right there at the abortion clinic already but I started crying, im not a bad person im very kind and I try to help people as much as I can I never judge anyone and if I did that I would never let myself stop feeling the guilt of it, so I decided to keep the baby but im only 18 I had my son , when I was 16, dependent on the father, I could not go to school, I have no education, no job, please I need help I want to keep the baby, but im not ready, and I was thinking about adoption, I just need some advice

Hello! I'm new to this site and just wanting to help you out a little. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for the past four years with no luck. We have had two failed IVF's with news that I have endometriosis, and may never be able to conceive a child. We are wanting to adopt, looking into it now. I just want you to know that there rare families out there that are willingly to help you and give you the strength you need to do this. Whether it be keep this baby and feel comfortable about your decision or if it be giving this baby to a family who can't have one. You have to feel what is the right thing in your heart. You can't let anyone else decide this for you. Good luck my dear and I'm here of you need to talk. :) Best wishes to you and your baby!

Thank you it really helps to know that there are some really good people out there who deserve a baby, and I hope to make a miracle for them, people should be excited about a baby sadly it is a very bad time for me so I can not enjoy that amazing feeling but I've made a decision and I hope to see there delighted faces one day, I know it would really hurt me greatly but to know that I made another family complete can put a smile on my face (: I hope I choose the right family I would like to this as an open adoption.

I have all the faith in the world that you will choose the right family, you'll know as soon as you see them. Life just works that way! And there are a lot of families that are willing to do an open adoption, I know that's what we are wanting out of ours. I want to be able to be there for the birth mother if she ever may need me. One day you will be able to see this baby again and see how happy you have made a loving and deserving family. Your such a blessing and don't ever forget that! :)

I wish you luck on your adoption journey and strength to face the road ahead of you. Dont look at it as "giving up"your baby, rather "taking care of his future"

I don't want to sound like a typical adoption mom scouting for children to be able to adopt, but I need to mention my husband and I would love to open our home and hearts to a little one.

Please let us know when you find an agency to help you with your adoption journey

MOM IN CANADA

Sweetheart just take one day at an time Pray at night Then put everything in Gods Hands, Keep Your Angels they was a Gift to You They Mommy,Protector, Ect

Oh my God, do what ever is possible to keep your baby. I don't have one and I wish I did with all my heart, but I can't be selfish to suggest you about adoption. If you love your child that is bleesing that God gave you. Love and care for your baby. God will always be with you and be your guide. God bless you and family very much. You are a very blessed woman.

you are in a situation that requires doctors help and counsellor help you sound like a lovely caring person who already has a child and look at the positives your a fab mum yes you need to believe more in your self you can always go back to education do not worry too much of all the negative think positive and keep looking at your son and remember he is your baby always will be and look at what love you give him and all that love can be shared with your other child and your son will have a brother/sister to love because his love is your love GOOD LUCK REMEMBER TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME XXXXXXX

4 More Responses

Hi Ladies, I am new to this site and I would like to let all of you ladies that are/ might be thinking about giving there child up for adoption bless your heart. My husband and I cant have kids after spending tons of money on fertility. Next month makes 10 years that we have been married and we both are involved in sports and many other things involving kids because we both enjoy them so much. We were lucky enough that we adopted 3 beautiful children even though they werent from birth and were older it didnt matter I was still able to become a mom. Ladies look at this as god is giving you the opportunity to bring life to a family like mine that cant have kids and spread the love of giving your child a life that your not able to at the time. Its not a bad thing and it doesnt make you a bad person. This can actually give you another family in your life if your open to that. My husband and I would love to adopt another one now that our kids are growing older but this time I would like the chance to have a new born baby or and infant. If I can help answer any questions any of you have please ask me I'll gladly help you. :) Also if your needing to talk or thinking about adoption for your child please let me know our family would love to add on. Have a great day!!!

Hi Bee<br />
<br />
My story sounds a lot like yours, I was 25 years old, I too had a bad childhood with a mom who didn't want me and resented me. My father broke his back so he was gone a lot for therapy. So I was treated like I was just bad by my mom, yet was too afraid to be bad. I was on my own at the age of 15 years, and had a very hard life, lucky for me I never got into drugs, I was the great at thinking for every one else, but hated myself for living and existing. When I got pregnant my parents were moving back to Europe, all my friends were moving out of province so I felt extremely alone. I didn't trust authorities because they were never there for me when I was younger. I found out I was pregnant just after my boyfriend left, because I wasn't enough, he wanted a variety... When I found out I was pregnant, he didn't deny being the father, but wanted no part of it, I was crushed, I hadn't had control of my temper yet, so it was so hard for me, I was scared of doing to my child what my mom did to me. I too went to an adoption agency, and choose the parents. I was lied to by the adoptive mom, she only wanted my child. I respect her very much for all she did for my child, and had also let me be part of her life. I tried to never interfere with the up bring, she divorced and needed my assistance to help look after her natural son and my birth daughter, I am very grateful for that time with her. But she would never let me put down my child at night only her son, I later left and later when my girl was 16, the adoptive mom asked me to come back as they were my family. We had told my daughter that she was adopted when she was 9 years old, we waited too long, my birth daughter resented me and to this day still does, and I think due to her adoptive mom worried that my child and I would get to close, she poisoned her against me, so since my girl was sixteen now 25 years old, she wants nothing to do with me and it kills me all the time, especially come mother's day. I keep hoping she will try to contact me and ask me to be part of her life.... She will call my mother, but won't have anything to do with me, if not for me forcing my mother to acknowledge her, they wouldn't have any kind of connection. So it hurts me that I went from being the good person to tried to make sure to the one who seems to be the bad one, yet I was the one who just wanted to have the extended family, the love of the adoptive mother's son, and her like a sister to me to my child getting to adoptive mom to pushing me right out. Never would I have ever tried taking my child from her, we both had enough love to share, so now I still hurt for not having that love! So open adoption is great! But make sure you are going to be able to let know, to this day, the Christmas time and Mother's day is extremely hard for me and I wait to have my child want me to be part of her life again, in the mean time I sit on the side lines and watch, pray and hope to share her life again with her adoptive mom who was like my older sister. Adoption is great! I could never have given my child what she was give, and the self-esteem she needs for life, as her adoptive mom did, and I will always be grateful for that! But adoption is not easy, by any means.

I am 24 weeks pregnant with a boy Nolan and my fiance and I have finally decided to give up our son for adoption. When I first found out i was pregnant i was so elated but scared because I had recently had a stillborn in october 2013. I was scared he would be stillborn to but i go to the doctor and my dad is a doctor and we hear his little heartbeat everyday. I've been upset thinking about it wondering if its right ive wanted a son for so long and im getting that chance and now i want to give him away. We have a 5 year old little girl who recently won her battle with childhood cancer her name is Avelynn. She's all we've ever asked for and almost losing her made me want to still spend as much time with her as i can. I spend almost every waking minute with her. I don't know if I can do it or not seeing him grow up in a different family. What do I do were ready for a baby but at the same time with our jobs having us away a lot i dont want to put him through all the stress of that. Our daughter goes with me wherever i go but we didn't have these jobs when she was born shes only dealt with this for 2 years i dont know if we can do it with a baby.

What should I do?

We are looking to have a family we have no children and are unable to conceive. We have been married for 3 years. We have a lot of love to give. I hope you contact us.

I hope you do find a great family, very truly sorry but my fiance and i have decided to keep him he was born later that night when i posted that. He's currently in the nicu and is being treated for being so premature. Hope all works out for you and your husband and you get a son or daughter in the near future.

Thanks and good luck.

Your welcome and thank you for understanding

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Hi, can anyone help me with some advice. I am pregnant and want to give up my baby for adoption bc the father has anger issues. We broke up before i found out i was pregnant and dont want him to know. Advice?

please contact me if you decide it is best for you and the baby to put of for adoption. My husband and I can't have children and are wanting to adopt

I recommend you drop all contact with him, he is not worth having in your life, as hard as that may be for you during this time. If you feel that you can not manage to be completely away from him during the whole duration of your pregnancy because of him intruding your space, I suggest you move to a different city and inform your family and friends to not say a word of your whereabouts to him or anyone for that matter. I'm not sure where you are located, but use Google to search nearby adoption agencies, and I don't know your beliefs, but I highly recommend that if when the time comes you do decide it would be better for the child to grow up with a different family, look into meeting a Christian family of the listings in your area. Be sure to get to know them, get comfortable with them, and you will see if this may be a good fit for your child or not.
I would like to warn you to NOT give your child away to someone on the internet, for people are very capable of scamming people for anything, and the last thing you want to even RISK is a child's well-being. Do not accept any form of payment from them either!! Like I have said before, go to an adoption agency. I wish you all the best, Sleexayh.

Hi sleexayh, I don't know all your reasons for breaking up with your ex and I understand you say he has anger issues but let me tell you about my story from a guys point of view. I don't know if you've already decided what to do with your baby yet as this was written a while ago but I do want you to know that I was in this same situation with my at the time ex girlfriend. We were separated at the time she had found out she was pregnant and she didn't tell me until a week before she had our little guy. She said she was scared of what I would've said, she was scared I would be angry with her or that I would try to make her have an abortion. So she told me that she had already found an adoptive family. Long story short she gave our son up and four months later I still don't have a day go by that I don't think about my son. Everyday I wish she would've just came to me and we could've talked everything out. We are back together now and very happy in our relationship but like I said we are both very depressed and regretting the decision that was made. I'm not saying that you should tell him but I'm just saying from a guy that has been in your ex boyfriends position that it kills me to know everyday that my son is growing up without me. I hope that if you do give your child up for adoption that it is to a Christian family as KalyoSakura mentioned below but I do recommend very very highly that you try with all of your power to keep your baby and do everything you can to protect and support that baby because I can't guaranteed that you'll regret giving your child up but I know my fiancé thought that giving our son away was best at the time and now four months later I find her crying almost everyday still because of the decision. I hope things turn out great for you and your ex either way and I will definitely be praying for you and your decision, have a great day:)

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thanks for sharing your story from a guys point of view i am so sorry for you and your fiancee ,as it was only four months ago can the courts not change the order, as in england once you decide to adopt and the child is with the adopted parents it doesnt become final untill a year later when you have to sign the papers for the court to give the adoption family the final piece of having the child,i would advise you to contact someone and check your options NOW before it gets to late. GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTHxxxx

I fully understand. I had 5 kids by the time i was 27. I love them all dearly but its hard. I have helped talk to several young girls.
We are actually wanting to adopt and have several references and a profile. I cant have anymore n the guy i been w for 13yrs dont n cant have kids. Instead we have 5 pomaranian puppies we spoil. Lol. Our Gabbie had 3 puppies so that makes 5. I have 7 beautiful grandbabies. We do so much. Camp. Travel. Carnivals. Parades. Fairs. Festivals. Lol.
I am here if u just need to talk. I talk to n help around 19 kids now.
God Bless n much love
If u contact me i can give u my number n all so we can talk.

I keep reading your post. I pray you dont take him back. Ever. So many young girls are just like u. No female deserves to be treated with anger. A female deserves Respect. Love. Safety. Courage. Support. Pray n let God lead u where u and your baby needs. Ok.
God Bless. You r a very brave woman no matter what. Much love.

We would love to adopt your baby and pay any expensive. We are a loving married couple. I hope you contact us.

I understand what your going through. .When I was 22 I gave up my son, so he can have a better life. I grew up with an abusive father and my boyfriend at the time was very abusive as well. I found out I was pregnant 2 months after we broke up. I went to get an abortion it was too late I was farther along than I thought. Not only was I not ready but I did not want my child to go through the same thing I went through growing up. I needed to come clean with the father I reached out and I told him. He was supportive but wanted me to keep him. I chose the family and I chose the day of delivery not to see my son because I knew if I did I would keep him. My family doesn't know I was pregnant I never really showed , 4 friends knew. One of those "friends" spread it around that I gave up my child, u don't deny or agree it's no one business. I do not regret my decision because it was the right choice. But I think about him everyday, I cry sometimes by myself because it's hard letting go. It's harder now getting older I want to tell my family but it might be too late. I have a boyfriend now that I have been with for over 3 yrs who questioned the adoption I didn't deny or agree. Life will be hard but you will get through it... do I think your ex boyfriend should know? Yes but only you can make that choice.

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i am happy that i and my Ex are back again and he already told me he needs me and wants to stay with me forever, dr.marnish@yahoo.com is the greatest!! with his spell all this happened, you can reach him on this number +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

My daughter is 2 and a half and I can moo longer support her fully and I just want Wats best for her so a friend of mine adopted her.it is so hard dealing with it. It has now been 3 weeks and my daughter don't want to visit me.it hurts more than I could have ever imagined. But she is happy and well taken care of.

Visit her with balloons and remind her all the time that you love her. Remember, she is only a toddler and isn't capable of understanding your situation quite yet. When she gets a little bit older though, (maybe 6 months older, because the earlier will definitely be the better at her age,) do try to inform her that you can't take care of her due to your health issue, financial issue, emotional issue, which ever the issue is that caused it. She doesn't want to see you because she thinks you don't love her anymore, but keep showing up anyway with toys and snacks that she likes. Kids can't deny that bubbles and balloons are awesome, and if you keep apologizing sooner or later she will understand. All the best.

don't take it to heart shes still little and doesn't understand. Bring her a toy or something or when you get a chance and have the time and money take her out for ice cream or something shell enjoy. take her to the park

I understand this is a very old topic, however; I'd like to add my twos. I got pregnant when i was 16. The guy i was with i knew for a few months prior and he was 20. We had a, huge falling out after i was three months in..i had thought about abortion, but at that time the option was too late. I struggled with the decision of either keeping him (which meant I'd probably be working minimum wage job, going no where fast.) Or I'd put him up for adoption (which, yes, is partially selfish. I'd have someone else to raise him while i was able to get an education, be able to make stupid decisions, and not be one of those parents who are 40 but still act like children because they never got TNT chance). I ended up calling an adoption place using a phone book. Everything was done over the phone, i called the couple a few times but i was terribly awkward and had no idea what to say. They lived in a different state, so i never got the chance to meet them until i was done with labor. One of my biggest regrets..is when i was talking to another girl at school, she told me that holding her made her change her mind. So, of course, i chose not to hold him. I constantly think of him, constantly wonder: is he ok? Will he understand? Is he going to hate me? I'm...completely unsure I everything about him. It breaks my heart, reading about these things. Its not an easy decision, and no one should have to listen about how one way is better than the other. I'm 23 and found out that when you're in an argument with people and they know about your adoption history, its the first thing they'll use when they want to hurt you. Hold your head up high!

I was that way adoption was ready and final just had to wait on the baby well he was born premature i got to hold him maybe a minute or two and i couldnt give him up i was so so afraid to loose him with the fear of i had almost lost my daughter. I talked with my fiance about it and he said that we would keep him and he wouldn't leave us. Don't be afraid to call and ask if your to afraid to talk over the phone ask for an address so you can mail a letter and ask how he is.

Hi I was curious would u like to have a penpal to write. I had a baby at 19 yrs old so I kno that it's hard. I kept mine but I thought about adoption. I'm 27 now n would like to give emotional support

Hey would you be up to talk now ? My girlfriend and I are on the fence about adoption I'm looking for maybe a little advice

hi my name is sierra. im going through a very tough time in my life. when i was 15 i became pregnant by my highschool teacher. i never was able to graduate, i cant get a job because i dont have people to watch him and i can barely aford gas, diapers, electric or anything. basically i can barely care for myself. i love this little boy with everything in me. but love doesnt provide for him. i just need some help on knowing what to do. i want to see my son everyday and watch him grow and excel... but i cant do anything without relying on someone else

Hello my name is Melissa. I'm 28 yrs old and can not have any babies. :( me and my husband have been trying for years now! We would love to adopt but the fees through an agency is really high! I have so much respect to the women out there that do give there baby up for adoption than abortion. Y'all women are strong and have a big heart. Knowing if you can't give your baby a good life there is someone who can. Me having a baby will be a dream come true! May god bless you all in this difficult time!

It will get better and there are places that help single mother's. But I understand 100% I have 2 kids and one on the way and I'm 21 trust me thing's will get better.

if i lived close to you i would help you out in a heart beat. i can not have any babies cause i had cancer.

Hi sweetie I would like to talk more with u and see how I can help leave me an email or something. Thanks

This is horrible I'm just had a baby boy and I'm in a very bad money situation too you have to get a hold of a social worker not the children's aid! But they can help you big time with good and diapers you need to get on those programs that will help you out I can't believe no one else replied to you

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Some of these comments are disgusting. Ladies we live in the 20th century life is hard and if you like it or not these woman that gave these babies up for adoption are stronger than you will ever be. The best thing a mother can do is do what's right for the child!! I can guarantee most unselfish people would rather there child grow up into a loving caring positive environment not a broken home where the parents feel as though they have to stop there life and look after the child. This God crap is bullshit. Where is God when you have a screaming baby where is God when they are teething when they won't settle where is he when a mum just needs 5 minutes to herself to have a break where is he when the bills roll in where is he huh? Do what's right for you and the child don't feel guilty feel proud that you can raise it or feel proud your letting others raise your child and giving her an actual future that you couldn't

Your Awsome thank you

I have to say I am very proud of you. You don't need to be ashamed of adopting your child. You did the RIGHT thing. First, you chose life! that is a huge descision in and of itself. secondly, you gave your child a life that has the potential to be more healthy and better than you could give him/her at this current time. Im currently 5 months pregnant, and giving my child up for adoption and even though its soooo hard, I know that it is the best thing for my baby boy. Praying for you! Don't give up on yourself.

Well said

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

when a woman gives up her child for adoption she has to live with that decision for the rest of her life. My experience has been the pain and regret just grows over time. It can become unbearable. Comments like "You are brave/courageous" or "You are giving such a gift" are maybe said with good intentions, but really they are extremely manipulative. We know why we are giving our children away. We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone. We know our babies and we ourselves will be shunned by the "decent" women of the world. The women who get our children. The aftermath can be disastrous. You may never "Get on with your life". You may never be able to look at a child and then adult the same age as your child without wondering, hoping that you have found him at last. I have rarely spoken of my past as it really is just to painful to put into words. I have read children who are adopted can struggle with their own set of painful issues I once heard a heard a pastor say "Look at Mary. She was young. Just a teenager really, but God chose her to be a mother." So if God believes you can be a good mother even though you are young who is everyone else to tell you you can't be. You know something else God will help you raise that baby if you go to him. Whatever you do don't give up your child trying to do something valiant to make up for how guilty you feel about the whole situation. Maybe the best gift you can give your baby is yourself.

"We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone"......these words capture my experience as a birthfather.

TRUE TO EVERY WORD THANK GOD SOMEONE ON HERE SPEAKS TRUTHFULLY XXXX

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

Hi , I'm an African American . I am currently 2 months pregnant . Giving my child up is the only choice I have. Yes I'm still with the father and we both has made this choice . I read so many stories on here. Some are scary and some are nice. No I don't think this is a easy fix but I don't want to kill a baby . I really don't know where to find am agency . Can anyone help.

I can't help with the adoption agency bc I don't know what state u live in but I'd like to be a pen pal for u if u r interested. We can write letters n they will stay between u n i. I want to offer emotional support. My name is Sara plz message me n let me know

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

Look through a phone book or search it on Google, as I'm warning everyone who is in the same vulnerable position, do NOT even consider giving your child up for adoption to someone from the internet! Sure there is a chance they are what they claim, but there is a chance they are not and have selfish intentions pertaining to your gift from God.
Please respond and let me know if you have found a place/family.
I wish you all the best.

Hi me and my husband have been married for going on two years and we are unable to conceive. We would love to adopt your baby and cover any expensive. Going through and agency is very expensive. We have a lot of love to give we are African American and working couple. Please consider us.

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I am a 28 year old successful woman. I have been in the process of adopting a baby for months. The stress and uncertainity that the adoptive families have is nothing compared to a biological family. Unfortunately there are people in the world that will never understand or agree with adoption but there are plenty of us that are advocates. I think that people tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. I think that any woman or family that feels that adoption is the best for that baby then everyone should respect your decision. I have not given up a child but i have had a few heartbreaks of attempting to concieve only to not be successful. I hope any woman that is strong enough to make this decision receives the support from someone. You are doing an amazing thing for a family that deserves and has worked for a baby.

For the lady 5 months of my pregnancy I was certain and set on adoption. My boyfriend is completely against it. We just had our baby yesterday and we have thirty days to figure out a way to keep our child. We met the adoptive parents for the first time yesterday and don't like them at all. This whole situation doesn't feel right and although I know we are giving a couple something very special they can not have on their own all I can think about is regret and guilt. As well as our little boy growing up with the wrong parents and not the right understanding and love. There must be a reason this couple can't have kids. So who am I to give them my own when he is our responsibility. Twenty nine days to find a way to keep him and we will do whatever it takes. We only signed temporary custody papers so it's not final. We will continue to pray and let God lead us in the right direction. I know I can be a wonderful mother and I can't make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.

I noticed you posted this in December, may I ask what the end result was?

If you are considering adoption, read this:
My name is Emily (not the Emily from above) and I was adopted when I was a baby. I have 3 other adopted siblings. Adoption is a wonderful gift you can give to a child without a family. And if you are worried your baby will hate you, don't be. I am so grateful that my birth mother put my needs first and made sacrifices to ensure I had the best life possible. It is hard not being able to know anything about my family until I am 18 apart form what my mom knows and I do wish I had an open adoption, but nevertheless adoption is an amazing thing worth considering. I hope this helped make your decision easier

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

I am so sorry to say this to you as you have already gone ahead with the adoption. I had a daughter in different circumstances to you, I was only 15 years old. I had no real option but to go ahead with an adoption. This is an action which has caused and still causes me tremendous pain and heartache. It is a short term solution to a situation and should never be allowed as the pain for both mother and child is well documented. I went through this 30 years ago and it is still as painful and cause of many problems to this day. I have had so many councillors, doctors and other professionals involved to help ease my pain but the truth is that it can't be undone and those missed years with your child can never be given back to the both of you, even if you meet up in the future. I strongly believe adoption is wrong for everyone involved but especially the mother and the innocent baby. Sorry to sound so negative but I have to be honest. I wish you well moving on with your life.

As a adoptive baby I feel special because of my adoption. It's not pushing a responsibility onto someone else. From what we know my mom was a teenager and choose to give me my best chance. She picked out my parents because I would have an older brother. To me if it is any comfort I know my birth mother loved me enough to give me away and that is the best thing that has happened to me. I have parents that love and care for, not that she wouldn't have.

Yeah I was told that fairy tale too. It's not all lollipops and rainbows being special and adopted. Adopted kids at the core don't want to be special they want to belong. Look beyond this fairy tale - it was created to pacify us. Need to go through the gamut of emotions of being abandoned. And not belonging. Then past it to create your own world of belonging. It's truly freeing.

I completely agree with you. I am an adopted child and have lived the experience. Biological ties are special and being denied that at birth is traumatic on a very core primal level. No guarantee that the adopted family provided a better life. Abuse happens there too. Speaking from experience.

I was only 13 years old and I had no real option either but adoption. It wasn't my choice to become pregnant either that was taken from me. I can say this that it was my choice to give a life at a age where I was supposed to be transforming into a teen. I took on so much during that time but I knew that it was a heart beat that I could get rid of. Through my life I wonder how he is how he looks everything a mother would wonder. We all should be thankful that we allowed a life to be lived and not turn this all into pain? Yes we have pain but no matter what faith in God is all we need. I am 21 years old now, about to graduate from a university and I thank God everyday for all his blessings. I have never seen a doctor or a councilor for this because God is all I need. Things do not happen to us for no reason. You should be proud of yourself for not being selfish and being someone angel. Moving on with your life shouldn't be picking up and acting like nothing happened. It should be bits and pieces of everything that has shaped you. Then you can truly move on. I wish you well

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DO NOT ADOPT YOUR CHILD OUT. IT WILL BE THE MOST PAINFUL REGRET YOU WILL EVER FEEL. This does not just effect you but your child will suffer the rest of their lives. You need to face reality, start acting like a responsible adult and care for your child. It is very much possible and any other option is going to hurt you and your child. That is a promise. Another important fact: Open adoption is the worst. 90 percent close within 5 years. What makes you feel you are so special?

That is just awful to say!!! I do feel its a tough choice to make but i feel that is such a responsible decision to make as a mother and very selfless your thinking more about your pain and she was thinking more about whats best for her child, she was taking care of her child! And there are many children who are adopted and have wonderful lives stop being so ignorant!

Well said!

She's not being ignorant. I align with her completely as I've worked through years of therapy to manage being adopted. The fairy tale of being chosen and special didn't sit right with me. I dug deeper and it started to hurt. Abandonment. My core esteem is so much stronger now that I went through these issues in a real and honest way rather than clinging to the fairy tale adoption story. I am much freer and more compassionate as a result.

Please shut up your child would have been better of rather than having a selfish person like you in there lives

I agree completely with you as an adoptee.

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At the time I was 37 years old. I was seeing this man who I thought had it together. He had a law degree. I became pregnant and he was adamant on me getting an abortion. At the time I had two children a boy 13 and a daughter 9. I already knew in my heart that I couldn't take care of this child because my choices in men were bad. My first marriage, my husband had gone to prison because of domestic violence. He would beat me and beat me when I was pregnant. I had two children that were in private school, thank you to my parents and grandparents. I met with many couples who were wanting to adopt my child. I talked to this couple and met them and I instantly knew that I wanted them to be my the parents of my child. It was a wonderful time in my life they came to visit and stayed with me a month before our son was born. The Mother was with me the whole time I was in labor and after I gave birth I handed her that beautiful baby boy. We talk on occasion and they send me pictures. I have no regrets they are the most wonderful and caring people you ever want to know! On November 1 he will be 13 years old. He gets straight A's and is very athletic. I'm so blessed to have found them.

Please, don't give up your child because someone feel it's best too? I'm 22 yrs old and I'm 6 months now. I don't have a job right now and I live with my parents and this baby thing is torning me apart. My foolish boyfriend had a child by this girl in a young age and just say, did to much by dragging himself along for 5 yrs because of that. Now, after that past. I told him I was pregnant and he starts to freak out and then, say everything will be fine. Later on, my parents talk to him and me. I was scared and unsure what to do? He was 19 or 20 yrs old when he had this one child and realize it was a waste of time to his young and dumb moments not thinking fully. But, there's a thing? I'm different then that girl and most others. I am, me and that's all it matters. He said I'm ready and he's not ready. Because, he lost his job too and don't barely have a home enough right now. I understand that. The funny thing is? He was adopted too. And figure it will be better to do this? When I didn't agree and feels that everyone is the same and he feel he would go though it again. He wants to finish school and have a better life. I was like, that's fine. I agree but, this isn't the answer to fix things. To much pain and guilt for me when I don't want to give it up and I have people to support me in-till get back on my feet again. He feel I'm doing this to mess up his life even more? But, I'm like you already did that part. I'm trying to find away but, he just to stuck up and feel that this is a better way to start again when I feel and know in my heart I can do my very best to take care of my own child. I wish he would see it that way then, to judge on what happened to him along time ago. He says stuff like leaving and don't want nothing to do with the child now because, of his lack of money and don't have a nice home or car yet? It seems to me that your not even trying? I have more then him alittle. I have a car and place to stay for now. He doesn't. We both losts our jobs which is more stressful I get it. But, money shouldn't matter when you can and soon will reach your goal by actually doing something about it. I just wish he can open his eyes on that. But, he doesn't in-till I get mad enough to leave him myself over something so stupid. He does not even have custody to the other child the mother does? And he always say I want to finish this and then, marry you. I want kids after I get myself together. Well, he should of thought of that before sex. I should of too. But, if I feel I wasn't ready then, sure but, I have alittle bit more then him. What I'm telling to say to all of you out there is, money there's not get you nowhere and without real love you are lost. Please, think it though before doing such a crazy thing if not for a real good reason? Some do it because, they give up to soon and there scared. Please talk to your Panther and mostly for yourself clearly before doing something that wasn't meet to happen for something so stupid and little. Grow up and let god show you the way and things will get better at the end. Please, don't make a bad decision over not having much when you can one day in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you write back on what you feel?

My 7month old bby girl is going up for a adoption I feel as though its my own fault

18 years ago my ex had custody of my twin girls then when they were 2 i had a knock at the door and it was her parents they told me that she had died and that my ex would have wanted the twins to stay in there family so they had custody papers and forms for adoption i cant believe i said it now but i said are you sure this is what she wants they said yes and i sighed the papers i always regretted sighning the papers but fast forward to today and i just saw my twins on youtube they look happy not sure wether to tell them who i am or just not tell them

Your babies have lost the only parent they knew, and losing a parent is so hard. Especially if you only have one. I think you should reach out, they may accept your right away in search of answers and comfort or they may reject you in anger. Either way you have to keep trying of you want to build a relationship with those amazing people that you helped create

I am a 63 year old man who stopped seeing his daughter when she was 3 years old. That was 41 years ago and there wasn't a day passed that I haven't thought about her and regretted my decision. It seemed to be the best solution at the time and I buried my head in the sand. 3 months ago she made contact telling me that her mother had never told her the truth and she only found out when she was 17 and needing a passport. Even then her mother didn't say anything. I am now going through a very emotional time - we meet every week but I end up crying my heart out with the regrets and guilt that I have carried for all these years. We love each other so very much and were able to bond immediately. Whilst she says she understands and forgives me I cannot forgive myself. So David, please don't end up in my position. It's so easy for time to slip by and you will lose even more years of their lives if you are not careful.

i would tell them

I can't believe people are using this forum as a way to reach out to women for a "Caucasian" or any other baby.

I would never suggest a private adoption. Go through an agency and get yourself a counselor who is neutral (who does not work for the adoption agency) to help you make your decision. I'm here because I am trying to support a young woman as she makes this difficult choice.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I am looking for stories from moms who placed their babies and those who are raising them. You are both awesome.

For those still deciding, it is not your job to make another family happy. Do what is right for you and you child. If that makes another family happy, that is great.

I think any woman who can give their baby up for adoption is extremely strong. I can't imagine what some days may be like for any of you. Its such and unselfish thing you have done for the many reason I am sure you had. I live in Alabama, United States and I have been looking to adopt locally so it can be more personal and without agencies. I would love to adopt a newborn caucasian girl. If anyone is looking to place their child for adoption and interested in me please contact me. I am 27 years old, I have one son who is almost 6 and I am an elementary teacher for general and special education. hopefultoadopt.com please no scams from foreign countries, i'm not going to indonesia ( not doing international adoption) America needs our help just as much.

yes this story has helped me. im in the process right now of giving my son up for adoption. its such a hard decision but i look at what the adoptive parents can offer and i want to give my son that chance of a good life. i just hate how everyone makes me feel guilty like im a terrible person for choosing adoption

You guys are STRONG women.

I Just had my baby girl Isabella April 16 2013 and I didn't even know I was pregent until I went to the hospital and I gave her up for adoption to and I'm making a book just like u are and I can relate to u alot I know what I did was right but the only thing is all my friends are prego or have babies and I look at them like I wish I had my little girl I'm just I'm the whirlwind of emotions cause my baby isn't even a month old and I'm so scared if she will hate me and everything but if u have any adivce that u would like to give please do

I am 24 years old and an adoptee. My birth mom gave me up for adoption when I was 23 months old. It was an international adoption so growing up there was the added issue of race. My adoptive family is amazing and has loved and cared for me more then anyone could ask for. I am now pregnant and in my 3rd year of university. I am still living at my parents house and and emotional reck. Being adopted myself I know the emotional challanges that come along with adoption all too well. I used to as a child tell my adoptive mother I would much rather be poor have nothing at all just so I could know and live with my birth mother. Personally adoption would be my second choice (abortion being my last) I strongly disagree with termination. I so want to rase this child but I am tariffed I won't be a good mother and I won't be able to finantually provide for us. The father has a good paying job and would be supportive but I want to be as independent as possible. Having a baby is a scary thing but it is a gift. I am hoping everything will work out to keep this baby but if I can't come up with a sound plan I will give the baby up for adoption? My birth mother was an amazingly strong woman I will always love her and be greatful for the heartbreaking choice she made

Part of my decision to place my son for adoption 29 years ago was influenced by doubts that I had about my ability to be a parent. Being a parent seemed overwhelming and I wondered if I was up to the challenge. Ultimately, I decided that I was not ready for parenting and placed my son in a closed adoption. Within a couple of years of this decision, I realized that I could have been a capable parent and that the loss of my son that could have been prevented if only I had believed in myself. You may not feel that you have the skills now to be the type of parent that you want to be. I would encourage you to ask yourself if it is possible for you to gain those skills in the near future...if the answer is yes, I would encourage you to parent your child. It will be challenging and life changing. You will need help from others. But you will avoid the lifetime of grief and doubt that comes when you separate from a child who is a part of you. You were destined to love this being and I believe that it is quite possible that you have the ability to do this.

peace.

Hello everyone,
I don't know where to begin actually. I like to apologize in advance for my grammatical errors and such, because I'm from Europe and normally I speak Dutch. I came here because I wanted to hear storries of people who have been through the same stuff I will be going through. I'm 20 years old, and I'm pregnant. When I found out it was too late for an abortion so I have to keep the baby and give it up for adoption. Keeping it and raising it myself isn't really an option for me, not really though. I'm in my third year of lawschool (it takes 5 years in my country to get the law school diploma) and i really don't want to give up the future i've been working on so hard these past years. But mainly I'm not keeping the baby because i'm just not the maternal type. Before i found out about my pregnancy i wasn't sure i even ever wanted kids and even now I don't really feel ready. I told my parents and sister, who all are very supportive. But i've been experiencing all these emotiones, of wich I can mainly detect two: guilt and fear. I feel guilty towards my parents, because i'm giving away their first grandchild. There will be other people who will be my son's grandparents, and will enjoy all the stuff my parents normallly would look forward too. I can see that this is a struggle for them too, and it breaks my heart knowing that i'm taking something so precious to them away while they have given me the best my whole life.... I also feel afraid, because i've been very rational about this whole experience and have been able to keep my emotions tempered, but I'm afraid that after i gave birth i will be overwhelmed by emotions. I haven't met the adoption parents yet, although I have the option. In the country where I live we can also chose to hold to baby, visit it in the hospital or not to see it at all after you have given birth. I always said that I wish that the baby would be taken away immediately and to not meet the adoption parents, not because i don't care for all of and the baby, but because i know it would only make things more devestating and harder for me. But on the other side i'm doubting a bit, i know its better not to see the baby, but i'm afraid that i might want to see it once i have given birth, just because i want to see my child. But as you can see I'm torn. I already have to choose a second name (they let the birth mother choose the second name for the child so the child has something from his birthmother as a sign of caring) and the counselors also adviced me to buy a little toy or teddybear for my son, so he has something that reminds him of me. But such things make the whole proces that more personal, and I think it was the unpersonal character that i thought this procedure would have, kept me going. I'm also afraid for all the emotions I will experience afterwards, because now i feel okay by thinking about giving away my baby, because i know it's the best choice. As you can see I'm a wreck, and very confused. The one day I feel very rational and i think i've got it all figured out but the other I'm an emotional trainwreck...

I don't believe that the adoption process can ever be impersonal for a birthparent....the process will always be a part of you and you will always know that there is a child in the world who comes from you. 50 years ago birth parents in the USA were told to forget about their child and silently move on with their lives. Birthparents discovered that this was not possible. When I gave my son for adoption, a piece of my heart heart was removed and nothing could fill that hole. Expect to experience intense emotions that include guilt, shame and grief. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this is the struggle that birthparents experience.

At the time that I gave my child for adoption, I knew this choice as difficult and painful. But at the time, I did the best I could. When my son was placed for adoption, there were many things that I did not know: How would my son be raised? How would I feel as the years moved forward? Would I meet my son and if I did, what would be my reunification experience? For me, it became an exercise in tolerating the unknown, tolerating the doubts and managing my regrets so that I could treat myself in a kind and forgiving manner. I went throught periods in which I was ashamed and periods in which I was angry at myself. And, of course, there were moments of intense sadness. It has been a journey....one that others who are not birthparents cannot fully understand.

I think this is wrong its better to terminate than to give it up. I dont believe in someone having your child especially if your capable of taking care of her. That was selfish of you and irresponsible. My friend little sister is thinking of that. And everybody is trying to find a job and rotate days to take care of her I'm 17 her sisters 18 and we found somebody to help us. Her grandma is forcing her to adopt it and is scared what her grandma will do, but her grandma foster kids and dont work. So I dont understand why she can't help her. She had the baby yesterday. She did the same thing you did try to ignore it.

Really, You would rather end the life of a baby than to give it away. That is the most selfish act I can ever imagine. My daughter had a baby last year. She said it wouldn't be fair to deprive the child of opportunities they ( a loving couple she found) could give her that she never could.

I am pregnant I don't mind keeping the baby but I still think that it best for me and the baby for the baby to be adopted as it gives the baby a better life I could give the baby a better life but I am still trying live mine and become something I adore kids but I got my education and family to think About my parents don't knw so I was thinking of abortion but would rather give my baby to a good couple who can't have kids as that would be a better option instead off terminating it

Sorry if am being rude but! Why not keeping the baby if u weren't responsible to use protection. You should at lest be responsible for the consequences you had sex well deal with the responsibility of being a mother!

Hi liyaana4
Me n my husband are very much interested in adoption. I cant have a baby because of ovarian problem.I am dying to have n love a baby.Plz do consider us while choosing parents for your baby.
Regards.

i had a little boy 11 yrs ago i had a 1 yr old already i thought i was doing what was right for the baby and my son ... 11 yrs now and i cant get it out of my head, something is missing. i cry everyday, i have dreams about him that are bad.. sadly i regret my decision. i carried him for 9 months i should have been the one to care for him, to wipe his nose change his diapers, see him walk, talk.. i missed it all and he missed out on me as a mother and his older brother and now his younger brother.. plz think about the decisions you make when it comes to babies... its not as easy as giving them away as you think or may have been told .. it rips your heart out and leaves an empty hole.. for me it has ...

Hello everyone out there, My husband and I live on Ontario, Canada and are wishing to adopt. We run a camp and conference center and have 3 children who love the outdoors and living on the lake. Our dream is to provide a home for a fourth child to make our family complete. When we got married our intention was to have 4 children but complications during my last pregnancy left me unable to have any more children. Our hearts were broken. My daughter is our youngest and wants a sister so badly. We have so much love to give to another child and an amazing life here with 700 acres to run and play. If anyone is out there reading this and is feeling like they might need to give their baby up for adoption I ask you to please consider emailing me. dpilgrim2007@gmail.com

Please don't give up your baby, at least not right away. Please pray to Christ for help during this very hard time. God promised to be a husband to the widow and father to the fatherless. (Psalm 68:5). You may not be widows but you don't have support and protection from your child's father. Children need love and security, but don't delude yourself that if you can't afford an IPOD or other expensive material things that you can't do it. It's normal to be scared but don't give up. You're stronger than you think. Ask the Lord to fulfill that promise I stated. God bless you all and your babies.

I placed my daughter for adoption 18 years ago. I was pressured by my family to chose adoption even though i was financially able to care for her. This was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it still to this day. I was always afraid she would hate me and I was told she would understand, we'll it didn't work out that way. She doesn't want anything to do with me. In my situation adoption did not turn out to be the right choice but it may be different for others.

My story is the oppisite my mom forced my im17 years old I tried everything I could all she does is say how does a 17 year old raise a baby and im still suffering everyday I was forced to give him away. My mom just says sorry to me everyday we were so close and now we have ni relationship at all

Listen to all of you birthmothers. I am 25yr old I live in Dallas Tx. and I had two 2 beautiful girls Wynter 1yr and Sydney 5yr. First, I went through a lot of hardship elements in life nothing like drugs or sex abuse, elements like not having enough money or help like some of you. I came to Dallas last year 2011 from Atlanta, but originally from Chicago. I had met a guy there (Atlanta) and thought he was my way out of proverty, and I had got caught up with him. I was so naive and he deceived me and even convinced me that giving my children up for adoption was a good idea for the girls and myself. [There are many gaps] I found out that his name is not really his name, he was wanted for what I don't know still, and detectives came with their guns drawn screaming his name, I had no idea what was going on, they told me that he was running and from the law, and they cuffed him and back he went to Atlanta. He is in prison now. It was so much going on that I didn't know exactly how to deal with the adoption process and no one was really helping me not even the agency Hope Cottage. I was so overwhelmed and no one not even my family would help me. I met with one of the counselors and she informed me that my adoption would be an open adoption. She explained what an open adoption is and that I will be able to see my girls, I'll get pictures and letters, and that I'll get to even pick the parents. So I interviewed a few parents and I finally picked the one that I wanted to be my girls mother. Seemed pretty promising. [More gaps] So I gave them up for adoption and it was suppose to be a open adoption, but listen after the six months of me signing the papers (it's been a year now) and I have only received only like 3 letters and a few pictures. I have not been able to physically see Wynter and Sydney, have not hugged or kissed them in a year. Have no idea what the adoptive parent tells them about me, especially if it's negative. It's really sad and I regret it. It's like they were snatched from me and we had a close bond. I love them dearly and I miss them so much. I still hear Sydney telling me, "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm so happy Mommy," because I loved her and she knew it at such a young age. I breastfed her for 14 months and the Wynter for 6 months. Wouldn't someone think that it would be healthy for the mother to still stay involved?! Iv'e never did drugs, I've never been to jail, I am a full-time student, and work and have my own place. The Hope Cottage told me in the beginning that I should not see the girls so that they could adjust to their new mom, and that I would be able to see them after a few months to one year, So I trusted her andI had let time go by. Then the agency gives me the run around telling me how busy they are now and how busy the parent is to even contact them back because I want to see see the girls now as promised(and listen to this it is not in the contract that you have to have communication it's just available only if the adopted parent wants it to be) . It's so not fair. If you birthmothers really want to give your children up because of the lack of money you have, forget it. Because that was my reason and I truly regret it. These agencies will do anything and say anything to make you believe that everything will be smooth and good, but in all it's the money they want. MONEY is EVIL. I just want to encourage you birthmothers that YOU can do it. God does not put anything in your way that you can't handle. And all the parents looking to adopt I prey for you all too I can understand how you all feel wanting something that you can't have. But I am pro keeping your baby [in situations like mine] now that I gave mines away just because I feel like I was used, and played, and have been taken advantage of. I'm keeping my composure and just preying and knowing that with every failure there is going to be a success. Everyday I prey to God for them to come back to me, because I was a great mom, I still am. Keep Your Baby.

My husband and I are hoping to adopt. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps adoptive parents to know what birth mothers are going through and encourages honesty during the adoption process.

I gave my son for adoption nearly 29 years ago......guilt about this decision has certainly been a part of my experience. I can say that I feel less guilty than I did in the past....maybe this is because as I've grown older, I've been better able to treat myself with kindness and forgiveness.

I agree with you....you are missing something. My son's adoption was closed. I counted the years, knowing that reunification would be posible once my son reached legal age. It was like the puzzle of my heart could never be complete until the missing piece was put back.

Talking to other birthparents can be helpful. I would support your efforts to seek out these connections.

Peace.

Hi My name is Andreya and i am African American I can;t have children if any of you had made that hard decision to give a family a baby that's a great thing. If you wantto contact me and get info on me just email me at andreya.williams@gmail. I would love to be a parent to a child that need a loving and caring home. Hope to hear from you soon.

I am six months pregnant and I am planning to give my baby up. I don't want to know if it's a boy or girl. I don't want to know what it looks like. The guilt of not keeping it is already tearing at me. I have a 2 year old already and I don't even have a job. I can barely take care of us not to mention a newborn. I hope my child has everything in life I could never give it.

I am in the same boat as you! 5 months pregnant and also doing adoption, and already have a two year old. with no job, and can hardly take care of us..... I do know what your going through.

Where r u from? Me and my husband dont have any children and we r wanting a baby so much to spoil and love

I am wanting a baby also, i'm looking to find someone to help my b/f and i out and not really having any luck at all, i am a stay at home mom we have 6 other children 8-18, and i we would love to have a little one to spoil.

Hello everyone, my name is Tashika, I'm Jamaican, and I'm seeking a lovely couple who wants a baby to be a part of their family. I'm currently 21weeks pregnant and would be happy to bless a couple with my child to be their's. I'm mixed with black and german, and the child's father is black. Therefore, I believe an african-american couple would be a perfect fit for my baby. I'm looking forward to hearing from a couple who has been praying for a child to love as their own; this could be the answer to your prayers.

Hello Tashika!! My husband and I are hoping to adopt a second child from Jamaica. We adopted our precious son from Maxfield Park Children's Home in Kingston a few years ago and we would love to expand our family and give love to a child in need of care. We are approved by the CDA to adopt but we have been on the waiting list with the CDA to be matched with a child for almost two years and it is getting to be very frustrating. If you are thinking about making an adoption plan for your child, we know that by making this decision you only want what is best for your child and that you must in a dire situation to consider placing your child with someone else for care. If you are are interested in discussing the possibility of adoption, please make contact with me @ lovinsjones@fuse.net, or if you know of someone that is interested in making an adoption plan for their child, if you could pass along this information, we would greatly appreciate it. Thank you and God bless! We have friends and family in Jamaica and travel there often. I hope to hear from you soon!!! If you decide to choose us to parent your child, the process would be fairly simple. We would just have to notify the CDA that we would be completing a private adoption. We have a very close friend that could nanny the child until the adoption matter is complete. Thank you so much for your consideration!!

HI...TASHIKA...I AM A 23 YR OLD FEMALE AND I WAS ADOPTED FROM JAMAICA AND WAS TAKEN TO THE US BY A WONDERFUL FAMILY. MY FATHER IS JAMAICAN AND MY MOTHER IS WHITE EVER SINCE I GOT OLDER THEY HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER BABY TO ADOPT AS THEY JUST LOVE KIDS...I HAVE A CHILD NOW THAT THEY CANT KEEP THERE HANDS OFF OF THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH HIM...I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THEM LATELY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THEY DESERVE ANOTHER KID AND THEY ARE PERFECT PARENTS......I NEVER FELT LIKE I WAS ADOPTED AND IF U KNEW US U WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN BECAUSE THEY TREAT ME WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND COMPASSION...THEY WOULD BE WILLING TO FLY TO JAMAICA AND SUPPORT YOU IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE....IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY FOUND A LVING FAMILY...THIS WILL BE THE PERFECT FAMILY....GOD BLESS YOU AND GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH....

Hello my name is krystle and me and my husband has been trying to have a baby for 6 years now but I am going into a fertiliy clinic and I pray I get pregnant. I have PCOS which I have a cyst on my ovaries that causes me not to ovaluate so after reading some of these stories you woman are brave your doing what is best for your baby! Don't feel ashamed. If there is anyone who is looking to adopt their baby me and my husband will be happy to love a child! Hopefully we can have our own too! We will love a baby like it is our own.

It will be 3 weeks on Tuesday since I gave my daughter for adoption, it is truly the hardest thing to deal with. I feel like no one understands how I feel, but after reading this I do. Even though I'm close to the adoptive parents and receive pics and stories of her all the time on the blog we have it gets harder and harder everyday. I just feel so guilty and I don't want my daughter to feel as though I gave upon her or never loved her. I'm afraid that she will not want me to be apart of her life. But I know I made the right decision and having a support group would help so much.

It will be 18 years tomorrow I gave Daniel up. The pain never goes away ,we just learn to live with it day to day! You did a great job and I hope your child will see that later on in life, mine did. We talk now and he calls me mom. I NEVER thought I would see him again but his father that adopted him found me out of the blue last year. Remember you did nothing WRONG and EVERYTHING right. If you want to talk please feel free to email . If my emails not on here than responed and I'll send it to you!!.. Sending you lots of love and hugs Jackie!!!

Hi I'm thinking about the adoption thing. I just found out I'm pregnant wit twins & I can't take care of to babies. I already have 1 . Its very hard & I don't want to abort them.

Hi,
I know this is a really tuff decision you would make but there is families that would love your little ones, we have bin trying and 2miscarriages had us devistated so we are looking into adoption we would love for you to concider us as a candidate if you decide to go with this decision you can contact me anytime god bless you. We would be more then thankful.

Hi I want to adult a girl child plz send me your address and ph no.

HI....I WAS ADOPTED AND I AM NOW A YOUNG ADULT AND MY WONDERFUL PARENTS WHO NEVER TREATED ME AS IF I WAS ADOPTED ARE IN SEARCH OF ANOTHER BABY ...THEY HAVE NEVER SPOKE ABOUT TWINS BUT ..IM SURE THEY WOULD BE VERY GLAD.....THEY LIVE IN NC AND IM SURE THEY WILL BE WILLING TO TRAVEL TO YOU AND SHOW AS MUCH SUPPORT AS POSSIBLE....THEY WERE SO GOOD TO ME AS A CHILD AND I FEEL THAT THEY DESERVE ANOTHER SHOT AT PARENTING ALL OVER AGAIN....GOD BLESS U AND GOOD LUCK.

Hi l have 2 children who l let go yo adopshon my stroy is diffent to yours but l had to sigh the adopshon pappers and l no how your feeling l right to my children every year and my oldest son has just started to right to me the gilt will never go away hun all you can do is keep righting to your lil girl because one day she will right back to you and in time she will want to no her mum because you are still her mum no matter whot

Im currently 21 years old and am 12 weeks pregnant. I already have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, both with the same man that i am no longer with<br />
I got into a relationship about 6 months ago and ended up pregnant due to a major marana problem.<br />
He broke up with me a few weeks ago and insists on abortion but i know i cant bring myself to do so, however i know i cannot keep it as i dont currently have custody of my other two.<br />
Im considering adoption but my worry is that im going to see this beautiful little baby and notbe able to go thru with it.<br />
I remember the feeling i got when i saw my kids for the first time and i couldnt even imagine having to give.them away<br />
Any advice would be much apprecaited as i am scared to death here

Is there ay way you can delete the post made by "Posted by sacrificed1 on Apr 29th, 2012 at 11:15PM". I think it's extremely offensive, and I gave up my daughter three and a half months ago. Though birth moms seem to get a bad rep--I know that for a woman to give her baby up for adoption, she has to be one of the most selfless, beautiful people on this earth. And I'm not speaking for myself. I know many women now who have gotten adoptions and the outcome is the same--True beauty on the inside. The bond between a mother and her child is the strongest one a woman will ever know, but to think solely of their child and his or her future is the sign of a true mother.

thank you for sharing your story and as a woman who has done it i can honestly tell you unfortunely the feelings dont go away.i was 20 giving birth to Aaron James who weighed 7lb 1oz.i had him on march 2nd and the fathe rof this little man was in england running from the law.i also had 2 other children one from him and one from a past relationship.my family wouldnt accept my two sons and i was homeless so i gave Aaron up for adoption and i put David into foster care.it was the hardest decision ive ever had to make and i love them the same now if not more.ive been in touch with David over the 14 yrs of his wonderful life but now im being forced to give him up for adoption.ive never recovered from doing it once never mind having to do it again.if i dont sign the papers they will go to court and terminate my parental rights.i love both my sons and to just be pushed out and thrown out like garbage after 14 yrs its has broken my heart.i do and dont regret what i done if that makes sense.i do because i love and miss them so much cause david was with me for the first year of his life and Aaron was with me for 5 mths,and i dont because ive given them the best chance in life with out my family looking there noses down on them.they never saw them as mine they just saw them as his.if in your heart you know you done the right thing you will never forget her but at least you know you done the right thing for you and your daughter and one day you will be reunited and hopefully all the pain and the guilt will go away and you will have your beautiful long lost daughter back in you life and that peice you have lost in you heart will be found and your heart will finally be whole again.i wish you the best in life nd keep your head high.

i cried reading you r story,just as i did the day i saw and held my grandson.he was adopted at birth and we were blessed enough to be there for the baby and the birth mother.its been great the birth mother lives in our town and she comes and goes as she pleases.and this is a great thing for everyone. .i cried so much for her knowing how it must feel.but she is our shining earth angel and there is nothing we want do for her if she ever needs us.best believe whatever you feel is right is the only right way...god bless you baby girl. come chat with me if youd like .you can see joels pictures hes 3 now.

I am in a situation and need advice. I am 37 and already have a 10 and 9 year old. I am a single mother. I met a man, we had relations for a few months,I became pregnant. Currently, 26 weeks along. The father and I are no longer together,however he asked me to give the baby up for adoption. My two children that are here don't want me to give up the baby.<br />
??????<br />
Feedback please.

My suggestion would be for you to read the stories of women who have placed children for adoption in the group, "I am a birthmother."

hi its a tough situation you in but pet you cant just keep this little one just because your two other beautiful children want you too.you have to do whats right for you.i have given up a child and it is the toughest decision ive ever had to make but you need to look in your heart and do the right thing for you and your beautiful family.the answer is within you you just have to find it and please dont rush into anything after all your emotions and everywhere with your pregnacy and your break up

YOU HAVE ****** UP YOUR BABY FOR LIFE. YOU WEEKLING,NOT ABOURTING YOUR CHILD, INSTEAD YOU GAVE HER A JOB TO DO SHE WAS SACRIFICED TO PLEASE OTHERS . RIGHT AWAY A BABY SHOULDN'T HAVE A JOB TO MAKE "OTHER" PEOPLE HAPPY. YOU SOMETIMES FEEL GUILTY, BECAUSE YOU WHERE TO SPINELESS TO RAISE HER YOURSELF, OR ABORT. YOU GET TO GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE , WHILE YOU SENTENCED HER TO A DAILY ,BIGGEST MINORITY IN THE WORLD . HER OWN MOTHER DIDN'T WANT HER , IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING . IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD POOR DISADVANTAGED, KEEP THEIR CHILDREN . YOUR NOT IN THAT HOUSE WHERE YOUR BLOOD IS . YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'LL BE TREATED AFTER THE THRILL IS GONE . OR HOW SHE'LL HATE HER BIRTHDAY FOR LIFE ALL IT IS ,IS A REMINDER OF HER PRIMAL SCAR WOUND . THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY , YOU'VE CONDEMNED HER TO THE WORST DOMESTIC TERRORISM THERE IS. WISE UP SHITHEAD! , IF YOU DON'T WANT A BABY KEEP YOU LEGS CLOSED . EVEN WHEN SHE'LL HAVE QUESTION ECT.. SHE HAVE TO MUCH GUILT TO ADDRESS IT WITH THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS , FOR THEY HAVE TAKEN IN THE OUTCAST , NOT EVEN WANTED BY HER OWN MOTHER. IT SUBJECTS HER TO MOLESTATION BY A COUSIN,OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS, FOR KIDS ARE WAY MORE INTUITIVE THAN YOU THINK. THE BEST ADOPTIVE PARENT WILL NEVER COMPARE TO HER MOTHER THAT DIDN'T WANT HER. BOO WHO WHO , YOU DIDN'T HAVE A GREAT CHILDHOOD! PEOPLES ADULT LIVES CAN SUCK TOO. GO GET AN HYSTERECKTIMY, OR DO YOU SOME DAY WANT TO HAVE KIDS. PS THE % OF YOUR CHILD TO HAVE ADHD. GET INTO THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM ,OR BE A SERIAL KILLER % has gone way up . DESPITE THAT SHE'LL. HAVE TRUST ISSUES HER WHOLE LIFE. SO GO ON SOMETIMES FEELING GUILTY . I HOPE YOU WILL BE BARRON, AND WEEP DAILY FOR DISPOSING OF THE GIFT GOD ONCE GAVE YOU ! ! !

There must be deep injury beneath this response. However, experiencing pain does not give you the right to unload on others. Please find a way to heal yourself so that others won't get hurt.

im so sorry if some of these stories offend you that your life if so plain and simple but your answer is basically telling women to kill there child rather than giving them life.the other sick person with no feeling or heart is you and stop judging people cause people in glass houses cant afford to throw stones and if you cant give decent advise keep your comments to yourself

GODS heart is also mercy in which One must lay down their life DAILY because of "ALL" of ours Sin decisions we have made. ONLY Jesus was blameless! HE IS GOD. thank HIM for our mercys to still live and have FREEDOM to live Freely in HIM.

I SAY GOOD JOB for giving up your child and BEING a MOTHER. I WOULD kept the baby out of SELFISHNESS and PRIDE.

Im also around familys who have adopted and have knowledge to raise a child with rules and honor , Birthdays are NOT Everyday :))) but they do celebrate LIFE and encouragement of being a human who is saved from SIN and PARTY in Grace for again WE ALL SUCK !!!

I pray the WORLD gets with it !

ALL TYPES of MOMS NEED mORE support !!! i love all you MOMS !!! Have a awesome LIFE and CHerish every lesson and learn from it make it work for YOU and not you for It (as some would have you do) GO where you are welcome and LEAVE where they dont receive you... God will show you ... with LOVE and FAITH in JESUS himself &gt; ... we choose to LOVE &lt;3

sacrificed1 there is something deeply wrong with you if you think abortion and GOD should be used anywhere in the same sentence. As most people who have somewhat of a brain know that abortion is MURDER plain and simple. Finding a better place for your child is the best thing these ladies could do given that they can't give them the life the should have. Instead of judging everyone that is hurting on here maybe you should take a look at your own life.

I agree on this and most parts tho.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR EVER SPEAKING THAT WAY!
I WAS AT THE AGE OF 12 BECAME WITH CHILD NOT BY MY CHOICE AT 13 GAVE HIM TO ADOPTION AND THAT WAS THE BEST CHOOICE I HAVE EVER MADE!!! GOD LOVES ME SO MUCH AND MY SON. WE ARE AT LEAST STRONG ENOUGH TO GIVE A LIFE, GIVE A BEATING HEART A CHANCE AND TO GIVE SOMEONE EVERYTHING. If you believe in God as you speak you should ask for forgiveness of speaking untrue words. ALSO, I HAVE ADHD DIAGNOSED AND I AM A JUNIOR ATTENDING A UNIVERSITY GETTING MY DEGREE. SO RETHINK WHAT YOU JUST SAID AND THE PEOPLE THAT YOU MIGHT OF IMPACTED WITH YOUR WORDS. May God grab you and hug you because that's what you need.

5 More Responses

Thank you for sharing your story. Brave women, like yourself, are my heroes. My son and his wife couldn't have children. Someone, like you, gave us the wonderful gift of a child. When he held held her for the first time, he looked happier than I have ever seen him in his life. We cannot begin to express our gratitude for that loving mother giving us our greatest blessing.

i have looked into adoption since i was just a child. i have always known i wanted to adopt one day. i cant imagine the feelings a mother has or the strength it takes to give a child up. i know that it is a life altering choice. feeling guilt and a since of great pride and accomplishment at the same time. my ex husband was adopted, we have had many conversations over his birth mom. he would love to meet her just to see what she looks like and ask the typical why questions, but he has amazing parents. he says he was hand chosen by his mom and dad and would never ask nor want better parents. i am 29 now and hope and pray that one day my prayers of adoption will come true. i wish everyone the best of luck in all their decisions.......

Hello, I think that is such a brave thing you did, am in sort of the same situation but also very different. I was adopted and grew up with loving parents, I never got in contact with my birth mother though. I never had a reason to until a few months ago I started to think about getting in contact with her. The reasoning is I am pregnant but I am only 20 and still in college, I do not have the time to raise a child but I refuse to get an abortion. I am struggling through the thought of adoption. I was adopted and I turned out great and have a wonderful loving supportive family that gave me the best life because they were ready. I am not, I am just scared of what my birth mom thinks everyday and if she regrets giving me up and if she wonders if I will ever come find her. I did not know if you would be able to help me out. Thank You!

You did the righ thing. You had the choice to end a life or bring happiness into the world. You were unselfish and made the right moral choice. I bow to you with the greatest respect.

i gave up my baby too. i couldnt afford him and i am in need of healing myself. i miss him so much. i hope he knows that i love him so much. i know how you feel, sometimes it is hard but we know it is for the better, right? what i just hate is crying alone and missing him. may the babies that we gave up know that they are loved. i wish you well.

They know

thank you fro sharing you story, i am 18 weeks pregnant and have just been to an adoption agency, i have been trying to search the net for peoples stories on adoption., the mother who gave there child up to give them a better life and how they felt afterwards also from the child who was adopted to know how they feel about being adopted ! i dont want my child to suffer in any way ! and want to be 100% that it will be the right choice for my baby xx

I. Want to adopt a baby so bad me and my husband our not able to have children

I am 21 and 7 months pregnant. I am giving my baby boy up for adoption. It is a hard choice to make but I know in my heart that it is the right choice for him. He will be well taken care for. Better than I could do. The adoption family is very nice and I know they will love him very much. They are a good family and I am happy to have them adopt him. He will know some day that he was adopted and I hope he will want to write and to meet me some day but until then I know he is in good hands. Anyone who is thinking of adoption-it is a good choice even if it very hard to give he/she up. Dont have an abortion just because you think it would be easier..its not. You will have the pain of ending your baby's life the rest of your life. I applaud anyone who has the strength and love to give their baby up for adoption. To give he/she a better life.

This made me feel a little better. I'm 15 and pregnant, 6 months. My whole family and friends are very supportive of any decision I make. The baby's father wants nothing to do with me, which is hard, but I deal. I'm still very confused on what to do with my little boy. I was so stubborn on parenting him up until last month, now maybe God has drilled it in me that adoption is the best for him. I can't provide him with the comfort and love he needs. I still have two years of high school left, college, I don't have a job, and my mother struggles enough supporting me and my brother let alone a new baby. There are at least 100 times a day I worry about this, and pray that this is the right choice. It's the most difficult experience I'll ever go through. I can't describe the pain I go through knowing that he will call some other woman Mommy, or knowing that I won't be able to hold him at night, or give him kisses. If I give him up, I feel like I'll regret it. I know it's not impossible to parent him, it will just be extremely hard. This hurts so bad. I don't know what to do.

Hi!<br />
You seem like such a great person and you did a good thing. My name is Rachel and I am a senior in High School. I am doing an I-Search paper on Adoption. I was wondering if I could maybe interview you. There's a series of about twenty questions. I need to do the interview over phone so if you could e-mail me if you were interested and I would call you sometime when you are free. If you don't feel comfortable that is completely okay, but if you would want to you can contact be via e-mail at rachelkaltwasser@gmail.com.<br />
Thank you!<br />
-Rachel

God Bless YOU ! Such a wise decision for someone so yound. I was adopted 57 yrs ago - and I was brought knowing I was adopted. My adopted parents always told me that I was "Chosen" not just "Hatched". What a wonderful feeling.. <br />
But even after 57 yrs I still wonder who my adopted parents are and where they were from. All I know is I where I was born, and there nationality. <br />
When I had my 1st child - there was no medical history I could offer them as I was the 1st -she grew up fine and has 4 children of her own, I continued to have 4 more children who are all fine - but again they only have my medical history to fall on. <br />
I am so glad society has gotten out of the "dark ages" as far as letting people make decisions about adoption. Abortions are so "cruel" afterall they are all murderers as far as I'm concerned. <br />
I wasn't married in 1973 when I got pregnant but I still had my child - with little support it was hard. Looking back if adoption had been so "human" then I would have given her up - and continued on with studies. I don't regret raising her - but it would have been easier.<br />
<br />
GOD BLESS - you don't need any support group - you just need to be told your "loved" and "understood" and I am for one telling you just that.

You did what you thought was best; you were being unselfish. It may be looked down upon from others; but I myself am a product of adoption (I was adopted internationally when I was only 2). I grew up with parents who were able to take care of me, but I will always be curious about my own biological parents/mother. There are no records/information about her; but I thank her for bringing me into this world. I applaud you.

You a v very brave person and you will always be in my prayers. I had a friend just like you who had her baby adopted through circumstances she was young and could not look after her. Many night I sat consoling her while she cried her eyes out. The day my friends daughter came and found her was a very wonderous day. She explained to her why she had her adopted and she totally understood. She now has 2 mums and gois with her to her adopted parents.A sad story that turned out happy.