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I Gave My Baby Up For Adoption Over a Year Ago

On April 1, 2007 I found out that I was almost 2 months pregnant. I was so scared. It was my first pregnancy. I felt really alone. I had a bad childhood and I was so scared to bring a child into this world. I didn't want to have an abortion because I was scared and I didn't think it was right. I had only told a few people that I was pregnant. The father knew. I had dated him for almost a year on and off. I had just broken up with him less than a month before I found out I was pregnant. He was incredibly supportive. He wanted me to do what I thought was best. I never told anyone in my family that I was pregnant. Only a very few friends. On October 31, 2007 I contacted an adoption agency that I found on line. I met with 2 of the counselors and we discussed how the adoption process went. I hadn't gone to any doctors before this. I was so scared. I somewhat lived in denial. I know it was pretty stupid but I felt that maybe if I ignored everything... just maybe it would go away. Obviously that didn't happen. I went to the doctor for the first time a week later. They were kind of mad that I hadn't had any check ups at all yet. I made plans with the counselors of the adoption agency to look through books of families so I could choose one for the baby. The adoption agency supports open adoptions. I picked out a family based on the books. On November 20, 2007 at 12:00 am I went into the hospital so I would be induced for labor. The counselors came with me and stayed with me the whole time. I had my roomate and her mother there at the hospital. I still hadn't told my family about the pregnancy. I didn't live in the same town as my family and I avoided seeing them as much as I could so I wouldn't have to answer any questions. I had Emily on November 20, 2007 at 7:00 pm. She was only 5 pounds 9 ounces. She was such a tiny baby. I held her for a few minutes and just looked at this wonderful baby that I had somehow brought into this world. I met the adoptive parents that day before I had the baby. I had the opportunity to ask any questions that I wanted. They told me how excited they were to have a baby. They told me how thankful they were to recieve this gift. A few weeks later, I went to court to sign my rights away. That was one of the hardest days in my life. I had created a baby and brought her into this world. I had so much guilt in me. I knew what I had done was for the best, but it still doesn't take all of those bad feelings away. I have recieved pictures of Emily 3 times over the last year. It's amazing to look at those pictures and to see all the physical traits that she had from me and her father. She's such a healthy little girl. I still have those feelings of guilt at times. I'm in the process of making an album with her dad. It's going to consist of pictures and stories and letters to her to let her know that she's loved so much. The adoptive parents will tell her when the time is right that she's adopted. And one of these days.. when she becomes older.. she'll be able to write a letter to me. I just hope that she's happy and that when she finds out she was adopted.. that she won't hate me. I don't regret giving her up. I know that what I did was best for her. It just feels like I'm missing something. I wanted to join some kind of support group so that people who have been in the same situation... maybe we can help each other get through this. It's such a long hard process.. but I wouldn't change anything about it. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope if someone out there is thinking of giving their baby up for adoption... maybe this story will help you. I've been there... and I understand. Thank you.

beebs83 beebs83 22-25, F 70 Responses May 24, 2009

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Hi, can anyone help me with some advice. I am pregnant and want to give up my baby for adoption bc the father has anger issues. We broke up before i found out i was pregnant and dont want him to know. Advice?

i am happy that i and my Ex are back again and he already told me he needs me and wants to stay with me forever, dr.marnish@yahoo.com is the greatest!! with his spell all this happened, you can reach him on this number +15036626930
Lisa Rabiye

My daughter is 2 and a half and I can moo longer support her fully and I just want Wats best for her so a friend of mine adopted her.it is so hard dealing with it. It has now been 3 weeks and my daughter don't want to visit me.it hurts more than I could have ever imagined. But she is happy and well taken care of.

I understand this is a very old topic, however; I'd like to add my twos. I got pregnant when i was 16. The guy i was with i knew for a few months prior and he was 20. We had a, huge falling out after i was three months in..i had thought about abortion, but at that time the option was too late. I struggled with the decision of either keeping him (which meant I'd probably be working minimum wage job, going no where fast.) Or I'd put him up for adoption (which, yes, is partially selfish. I'd have someone else to raise him while i was able to get an education, be able to make stupid decisions, and not be one of those parents who are 40 but still act like children because they never got TNT chance). I ended up calling an adoption place using a phone book. Everything was done over the phone, i called the couple a few times but i was terribly awkward and had no idea what to say. They lived in a different state, so i never got the chance to meet them until i was done with labor. One of my biggest regrets..is when i was talking to another girl at school, she told me that holding her made her change her mind. So, of course, i chose not to hold him. I constantly think of him, constantly wonder: is he ok? Will he understand? Is he going to hate me? I'm...completely unsure I everything about him. It breaks my heart, reading about these things. Its not an easy decision, and no one should have to listen about how one way is better than the other. I'm 23 and found out that when you're in an argument with people and they know about your adoption history, its the first thing they'll use when they want to hurt you. Hold your head up high!

Hi I was curious would u like to have a penpal to write. I had a baby at 19 yrs old so I kno that it's hard. I kept mine but I thought about adoption. I'm 27 now n would like to give emotional support

Hey would you be up to talk now ? My girlfriend and I are on the fence about adoption I'm looking for maybe a little advice

hi my name is sierra. im going through a very tough time in my life. when i was 15 i became pregnant by my highschool teacher. i never was able to graduate, i cant get a job because i dont have people to watch him and i can barely aford gas, diapers, electric or anything. basically i can barely care for myself. i love this little boy with everything in me. but love doesnt provide for him. i just need some help on knowing what to do. i want to see my son everyday and watch him grow and excel... but i cant do anything without relying on someone else

Hello my name is Melissa. I'm 28 yrs old and can not have any babies. :( me and my husband have been trying for years now! We would love to adopt but the fees through an agency is really high! I have so much respect to the women out there that do give there baby up for adoption than abortion. Y'all women are strong and have a big heart. Knowing if you can't give your baby a good life there is someone who can. Me having a baby will be a dream come true! May god bless you all in this difficult time!

It will get better and there are places that help single mother's. But I understand 100% I have 2 kids and one on the way and I'm 21 trust me thing's will get better.

if i lived close to you i would help you out in a heart beat. i can not have any babies cause i had cancer.

Hi sweetie I would like to talk more with u and see how I can help leave me an email or something. Thanks

This is horrible I'm just had a baby boy and I'm in a very bad money situation too you have to get a hold of a social worker not the children's aid! But they can help you big time with good and diapers you need to get on those programs that will help you out I can't believe no one else replied to you

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Some of these comments are disgusting. Ladies we live in the 20th century life is hard and if you like it or not these woman that gave these babies up for adoption are stronger than you will ever be. The best thing a mother can do is do what's right for the child!! I can guarantee most unselfish people would rather there child grow up into a loving caring positive environment not a broken home where the parents feel as though they have to stop there life and look after the child. This God crap is bullshit. Where is God when you have a screaming baby where is God when they are teething when they won't settle where is he when a mum just needs 5 minutes to herself to have a break where is he when the bills roll in where is he huh? Do what's right for you and the child don't feel guilty feel proud that you can raise it or feel proud your letting others raise your child and giving her an actual future that you couldn't

Your Awsome thank you

I have to say I am very proud of you. You don't need to be ashamed of adopting your child. You did the RIGHT thing. First, you chose life! that is a huge descision in and of itself. secondly, you gave your child a life that has the potential to be more healthy and better than you could give him/her at this current time. Im currently 5 months pregnant, and giving my child up for adoption and even though its soooo hard, I know that it is the best thing for my baby boy. Praying for you! Don't give up on yourself.

Well said

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

when a woman gives up her child for adoption she has to live with that decision for the rest of her life. My experience has been the pain and regret just grows over time. It can become unbearable. Comments like "You are brave/courageous" or "You are giving such a gift" are maybe said with good intentions, but really they are extremely manipulative. We know why we are giving our children away. We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone. We know our babies and we ourselves will be shunned by the "decent" women of the world. The women who get our children. The aftermath can be disastrous. You may never "Get on with your life". You may never be able to look at a child and then adult the same age as your child without wondering, hoping that you have found him at last. I have rarely spoken of my past as it really is just to painful to put into words. I have read children who are adopted can struggle with their own set of painful issues I once heard a heard a pastor say "Look at Mary. She was young. Just a teenager really, but God chose her to be a mother." So if God believes you can be a good mother even though you are young who is everyone else to tell you you can't be. You know something else God will help you raise that baby if you go to him. Whatever you do don't give up your child trying to do something valiant to make up for how guilty you feel about the whole situation. Maybe the best gift you can give your baby is yourself.

"We are terrified, we are deeply ashamed, we are often young, poor and so alone"......these words capture my experience as a birthfather.

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

Hi , I'm an African American . I am currently 2 months pregnant . Giving my child up is the only choice I have. Yes I'm still with the father and we both has made this choice . I read so many stories on here. Some are scary and some are nice. No I don't think this is a easy fix but I don't want to kill a baby . I really don't know where to find am agency . Can anyone help.

I can't help with the adoption agency bc I don't know what state u live in but I'd like to be a pen pal for u if u r interested. We can write letters n they will stay between u n i. I want to offer emotional support. My name is Sara plz message me n let me know

for someone people the adopted fees through an agency is really high! but im not going to give up i want a chance to raise i baby i cant have kids cause i had cancer. i would do anything.

I am a 28 year old successful woman. I have been in the process of adopting a baby for months. The stress and uncertainity that the adoptive families have is nothing compared to a biological family. Unfortunately there are people in the world that will never understand or agree with adoption but there are plenty of us that are advocates. I think that people tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. I think that any woman or family that feels that adoption is the best for that baby then everyone should respect your decision. I have not given up a child but i have had a few heartbreaks of attempting to concieve only to not be successful. I hope any woman that is strong enough to make this decision receives the support from someone. You are doing an amazing thing for a family that deserves and has worked for a baby.

You were very brave, and you did the right thing. All you can really do is what you think is best for the child, and that's what you did. I wouldn't feel guilty :)

For the lady 5 months of my pregnancy I was certain and set on adoption. My boyfriend is completely against it. We just had our baby yesterday and we have thirty days to figure out a way to keep our child. We met the adoptive parents for the first time yesterday and don't like them at all. This whole situation doesn't feel right and although I know we are giving a couple something very special they can not have on their own all I can think about is regret and guilt. As well as our little boy growing up with the wrong parents and not the right understanding and love. There must be a reason this couple can't have kids. So who am I to give them my own when he is our responsibility. Twenty nine days to find a way to keep him and we will do whatever it takes. We only signed temporary custody papers so it's not final. We will continue to pray and let God lead us in the right direction. I know I can be a wonderful mother and I can't make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.

If you are considering adoption, read this:
My name is Emily (not the Emily from above) and I was adopted when I was a baby. I have 3 other adopted siblings. Adoption is a wonderful gift you can give to a child without a family. And if you are worried your baby will hate you, don't be. I am so grateful that my birth mother put my needs first and made sacrifices to ensure I had the best life possible. It is hard not being able to know anything about my family until I am 18 apart form what my mom knows and I do wish I had an open adoption, but nevertheless adoption is an amazing thing worth considering. I hope this helped make your decision easier

i am a ugandan and i have a very handsome healthy baby boy, i want to adopt him. do you know any person who can help me in adopting him.

I am so sorry to say this to you as you have already gone ahead with the adoption. I had a daughter in different circumstances to you, I was only 15 years old. I had no real option but to go ahead with an adoption. This is an action which has caused and still causes me tremendous pain and heartache. It is a short term solution to a situation and should never be allowed as the pain for both mother and child is well documented. I went through this 30 years ago and it is still as painful and cause of many problems to this day. I have had so many councillors, doctors and other professionals involved to help ease my pain but the truth is that it can't be undone and those missed years with your child can never be given back to the both of you, even if you meet up in the future. I strongly believe adoption is wrong for everyone involved but especially the mother and the innocent baby. Sorry to sound so negative but I have to be honest. I wish you well moving on with your life.

As a adoptive baby I feel special because of my adoption. It's not pushing a responsibility onto someone else. From what we know my mom was a teenager and choose to give me my best chance. She picked out my parents because I would have an older brother. To me if it is any comfort I know my birth mother loved me enough to give me away and that is the best thing that has happened to me. I have parents that love and care for, not that she wouldn't have.

Yeah I was told that fairy tale too. It's not all lollipops and rainbows being special and adopted. Adopted kids at the core don't want to be special they want to belong. Look beyond this fairy tale - it was created to pacify us. Need to go through the gamut of emotions of being abandoned. And not belonging. Then past it to create your own world of belonging. It's truly freeing.

I completely agree with you. I am an adopted child and have lived the experience. Biological ties are special and being denied that at birth is traumatic on a very core primal level. No guarantee that the adopted family provided a better life. Abuse happens there too. Speaking from experience.

I was only 13 years old and I had no real option either but adoption. It wasn't my choice to become pregnant either that was taken from me. I can say this that it was my choice to give a life at a age where I was supposed to be transforming into a teen. I took on so much during that time but I knew that it was a heart beat that I could get rid of. Through my life I wonder how he is how he looks everything a mother would wonder. We all should be thankful that we allowed a life to be lived and not turn this all into pain? Yes we have pain but no matter what faith in God is all we need. I am 21 years old now, about to graduate from a university and I thank God everyday for all his blessings. I have never seen a doctor or a councilor for this because God is all I need. Things do not happen to us for no reason. You should be proud of yourself for not being selfish and being someone angel. Moving on with your life shouldn't be picking up and acting like nothing happened. It should be bits and pieces of everything that has shaped you. Then you can truly move on. I wish you well

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DO NOT ADOPT YOUR CHILD OUT. IT WILL BE THE MOST PAINFUL REGRET YOU WILL EVER FEEL. This does not just effect you but your child will suffer the rest of their lives. You need to face reality, start acting like a responsible adult and care for your child. It is very much possible and any other option is going to hurt you and your child. That is a promise. Another important fact: Open adoption is the worst. 90 percent close within 5 years. What makes you feel you are so special?

That is just awful to say!!! I do feel its a tough choice to make but i feel that is such a responsible decision to make as a mother and very selfless your thinking more about your pain and she was thinking more about whats best for her child, she was taking care of her child! And there are many children who are adopted and have wonderful lives stop being so ignorant!

Well said!

She's not being ignorant. I align with her completely as I've worked through years of therapy to manage being adopted. The fairy tale of being chosen and special didn't sit right with me. I dug deeper and it started to hurt. Abandonment. My core esteem is so much stronger now that I went through these issues in a real and honest way rather than clinging to the fairy tale adoption story. I am much freer and more compassionate as a result.

Please shut up your child would have been better of rather than having a selfish person like you in there lives

I agree completely with you as an adoptee.

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At the time I was 37 years old. I was seeing this man who I thought had it together. He had a law degree. I became pregnant and he was adamant on me getting an abortion. At the time I had two children a boy 13 and a daughter 9. I already knew in my heart that I couldn't take care of this child because my choices in men were bad. My first marriage, my husband had gone to prison because of domestic violence. He would beat me and beat me when I was pregnant. I had two children that were in private school, thank you to my parents and grandparents. I met with many couples who were wanting to adopt my child. I talked to this couple and met them and I instantly knew that I wanted them to be my the parents of my child. It was a wonderful time in my life they came to visit and stayed with me a month before our son was born. The Mother was with me the whole time I was in labor and after I gave birth I handed her that beautiful baby boy. We talk on occasion and they send me pictures. I have no regrets they are the most wonderful and caring people you ever want to know! On November 1 he will be 13 years old. He gets straight A's and is very athletic. I'm so blessed to have found them.

Please, don't give up your child because someone feel it's best too? I'm 22 yrs old and I'm 6 months now. I don't have a job right now and I live with my parents and this baby thing is torning me apart. My foolish boyfriend had a child by this girl in a young age and just say, did to much by dragging himself along for 5 yrs because of that. Now, after that past. I told him I was pregnant and he starts to freak out and then, say everything will be fine. Later on, my parents talk to him and me. I was scared and unsure what to do? He was 19 or 20 yrs old when he had this one child and realize it was a waste of time to his young and dumb moments not thinking fully. But, there's a thing? I'm different then that girl and most others. I am, me and that's all it matters. He said I'm ready and he's not ready. Because, he lost his job too and don't barely have a home enough right now. I understand that. The funny thing is? He was adopted too. And figure it will be better to do this? When I didn't agree and feels that everyone is the same and he feel he would go though it again. He wants to finish school and have a better life. I was like, that's fine. I agree but, this isn't the answer to fix things. To much pain and guilt for me when I don't want to give it up and I have people to support me in-till get back on my feet again. He feel I'm doing this to mess up his life even more? But, I'm like you already did that part. I'm trying to find away but, he just to stuck up and feel that this is a better way to start again when I feel and know in my heart I can do my very best to take care of my own child. I wish he would see it that way then, to judge on what happened to him along time ago. He says stuff like leaving and don't want nothing to do with the child now because, of his lack of money and don't have a nice home or car yet? It seems to me that your not even trying? I have more then him alittle. I have a car and place to stay for now. He doesn't. We both losts our jobs which is more stressful I get it. But, money shouldn't matter when you can and soon will reach your goal by actually doing something about it. I just wish he can open his eyes on that. But, he doesn't in-till I get mad enough to leave him myself over something so stupid. He does not even have custody to the other child the mother does? And he always say I want to finish this and then, marry you. I want kids after I get myself together. Well, he should of thought of that before sex. I should of too. But, if I feel I wasn't ready then, sure but, I have alittle bit more then him. What I'm telling to say to all of you out there is, money there's not get you nowhere and without real love you are lost. Please, think it though before doing such a crazy thing if not for a real good reason? Some do it because, they give up to soon and there scared. Please talk to your Panther and mostly for yourself clearly before doing something that wasn't meet to happen for something so stupid and little. Grow up and let god show you the way and things will get better at the end. Please, don't make a bad decision over not having much when you can one day in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you write back on what you feel?

My 7month old bby girl is going up for a adoption I feel as though its my own fault

18 years ago my ex had custody of my twin girls then when they were 2 i had a knock at the door and it was her parents they told me that she had died and that my ex would have wanted the twins to stay in there family so they had custody papers and forms for adoption i cant believe i said it now but i said are you sure this is what she wants they said yes and i sighed the papers i always regretted sighning the papers but fast forward to today and i just saw my twins on youtube they look happy not sure wether to tell them who i am or just not tell them

Your babies have lost the only parent they knew, and losing a parent is so hard. Especially if you only have one. I think you should reach out, they may accept your right away in search of answers and comfort or they may reject you in anger. Either way you have to keep trying of you want to build a relationship with those amazing people that you helped create

I am a 63 year old man who stopped seeing his daughter when she was 3 years old. That was 41 years ago and there wasn't a day passed that I haven't thought about her and regretted my decision. It seemed to be the best solution at the time and I buried my head in the sand. 3 months ago she made contact telling me that her mother had never told her the truth and she only found out when she was 17 and needing a passport. Even then her mother didn't say anything. I am now going through a very emotional time - we meet every week but I end up crying my heart out with the regrets and guilt that I have carried for all these years. We love each other so very much and were able to bond immediately. Whilst she says she understands and forgives me I cannot forgive myself. So David, please don't end up in my position. It's so easy for time to slip by and you will lose even more years of their lives if you are not careful.

i would tell them

I can't believe people are using this forum as a way to reach out to women for a "Caucasian" or any other baby.

I would never suggest a private adoption. Go through an agency and get yourself a counselor who is neutral (who does not work for the adoption agency) to help you make your decision. I'm here because I am trying to support a young woman as she makes this difficult choice.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I am looking for stories from moms who placed their babies and those who are raising them. You are both awesome.

For those still deciding, it is not your job to make another family happy. Do what is right for you and you child. If that makes another family happy, that is great.

I think any woman who can give their baby up for adoption is extremely strong. I can't imagine what some days may be like for any of you. Its such and unselfish thing you have done for the many reason I am sure you had. I live in Alabama, United States and I have been looking to adopt locally so it can be more personal and without agencies. I would love to adopt a newborn caucasian girl. If anyone is looking to place their child for adoption and interested in me please contact me. I am 27 years old, I have one son who is almost 6 and I am an elementary teacher for general and special education. hopefultoadopt.com please no scams from foreign countries, i'm not going to indonesia ( not doing international adoption) America needs our help just as much.

yes this story has helped me. im in the process right now of giving my son up for adoption. its such a hard decision but i look at what the adoptive parents can offer and i want to give my son that chance of a good life. i just hate how everyone makes me feel guilty like im a terrible person for choosing adoption

You guys are STRONG women.

I Just had my baby girl Isabella April 16 2013 and I didn't even know I was pregent until I went to the hospital and I gave her up for adoption to and I'm making a book just like u are and I can relate to u alot I know what I did was right but the only thing is all my friends are prego or have babies and I look at them like I wish I had my little girl I'm just I'm the whirlwind of emotions cause my baby isn't even a month old and I'm so scared if she will hate me and everything but if u have any adivce that u would like to give please do

I am 24 years old and an adoptee. My birth mom gave me up for adoption when I was 23 months old. It was an international adoption so growing up there was the added issue of race. My adoptive family is amazing and has loved and cared for me more then anyone could ask for. I am now pregnant and in my 3rd year of university. I am still living at my parents house and and emotional reck. Being adopted myself I know the emotional challanges that come along with adoption all too well. I used to as a child tell my adoptive mother I would much rather be poor have nothing at all just so I could know and live with my birth mother. Personally adoption would be my second choice (abortion being my last) I strongly disagree with termination. I so want to rase this child but I am tariffed I won't be a good mother and I won't be able to finantually provide for us. The father has a good paying job and would be supportive but I want to be as independent as possible. Having a baby is a scary thing but it is a gift. I am hoping everything will work out to keep this baby but if I can't come up with a sound plan I will give the baby up for adoption? My birth mother was an amazingly strong woman I will always love her and be greatful for the heartbreaking choice she made

Part of my decision to place my son for adoption 29 years ago was influenced by doubts that I had about my ability to be a parent. Being a parent seemed overwhelming and I wondered if I was up to the challenge. Ultimately, I decided that I was not ready for parenting and placed my son in a closed adoption. Within a couple of years of this decision, I realized that I could have been a capable parent and that the loss of my son that could have been prevented if only I had believed in myself. You may not feel that you have the skills now to be the type of parent that you want to be. I would encourage you to ask yourself if it is possible for you to gain those skills in the near future...if the answer is yes, I would encourage you to parent your child. It will be challenging and life changing. You will need help from others. But you will avoid the lifetime of grief and doubt that comes when you separate from a child who is a part of you. You were destined to love this being and I believe that it is quite possible that you have the ability to do this.

peace.

Hello everyone,
I don't know where to begin actually. I like to apologize in advance for my grammatical errors and such, because I'm from Europe and normally I speak Dutch. I came here because I wanted to hear storries of people who have been through the same stuff I will be going through. I'm 20 years old, and I'm pregnant. When I found out it was too late for an abortion so I have to keep the baby and give it up for adoption. Keeping it and raising it myself isn't really an option for me, not really though. I'm in my third year of lawschool (it takes 5 years in my country to get the law school diploma) and i really don't want to give up the future i've been working on so hard these past years. But mainly I'm not keeping the baby because i'm just not the maternal type. Before i found out about my pregnancy i wasn't sure i even ever wanted kids and even now I don't really feel ready. I told my parents and sister, who all are very supportive. But i've been experiencing all these emotiones, of wich I can mainly detect two: guilt and fear. I feel guilty towards my parents, because i'm giving away their first grandchild. There will be other people who will be my son's grandparents, and will enjoy all the stuff my parents normallly would look forward too. I can see that this is a struggle for them too, and it breaks my heart knowing that i'm taking something so precious to them away while they have given me the best my whole life.... I also feel afraid, because i've been very rational about this whole experience and have been able to keep my emotions tempered, but I'm afraid that after i gave birth i will be overwhelmed by emotions. I haven't met the adoption parents yet, although I have the option. In the country where I live we can also chose to hold to baby, visit it in the hospital or not to see it at all after you have given birth. I always said that I wish that the baby would be taken away immediately and to not meet the adoption parents, not because i don't care for all of and the baby, but because i know it would only make things more devestating and harder for me. But on the other side i'm doubting a bit, i know its better not to see the baby, but i'm afraid that i might want to see it once i have given birth, just because i want to see my child. But as you can see I'm torn. I already have to choose a second name (they let the birth mother choose the second name for the child so the child has something from his birthmother as a sign of caring) and the counselors also adviced me to buy a little toy or teddybear for my son, so he has something that reminds him of me. But such things make the whole proces that more personal, and I think it was the unpersonal character that i thought this procedure would have, kept me going. I'm also afraid for all the emotions I will experience afterwards, because now i feel okay by thinking about giving away my baby, because i know it's the best choice. As you can see I'm a wreck, and very confused. The one day I feel very rational and i think i've got it all figured out but the other I'm an emotional trainwreck...

I don't believe that the adoption process can ever be impersonal for a birthparent....the process will always be a part of you and you will always know that there is a child in the world who comes from you. 50 years ago birth parents in the USA were told to forget about their child and silently move on with their lives. Birthparents discovered that this was not possible. When I gave my son for adoption, a piece of my heart heart was removed and nothing could fill that hole. Expect to experience intense emotions that include guilt, shame and grief. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but this is the struggle that birthparents experience.

When I was 14 I become pregnant with my first child, I was 15 when I had him, I wanted my baby I could look after him even tho I was young I looked after my disabled mother so I could defiantly look after my baby, because I was in foster care they jumped on me straight away I when to live with a foster family which made it very hard for me I used to get loads of abuse and shouting and all I wanted was to keep my baby, they failed me assessments even tho I did nothing wrong. Made me so upset my mum, nan , grandad and my baby's father supported me I cared for him on my own with I help in the house I called hell ... They kicked me out after 7 months and I saw my son 5 times a week then they reduced it to 1 a fortnight, up until he was 1 and a half he's now 3 and iv been goin court and they've adopted him without my day so, people should think before they get rid I there baby's it's heart ache nd I didn't even get a choice