I Think You've Mistaken Me For Somebody Else.....

My exes have both informed me that feeling good about yourself comes from inside and that no one can make you feel good about yourself. With my exes I am insecure and untrusting. I am not typically a jealous person. If I can’t trust someone, well then I don’t need to be with them. I have issues because everyone I love has cheated on me. Recently, I had to stop attempting to be friends with one of them for a variety of reason but the biggest reason was that she simply could not understand where I was coming from in regards to this issue and never will.

That said I am not generally very insecure. In fact, I much more confident than I have ever been in my life. I continue working on my weight. I take Wild Yam and Saw Palmetto to plump my breasts. Also, having my nipples pierced makes them more attractive to me. I like my curves. I like my eyes, my perfect nose, perfect lips… I wish my thighs didn’t wiggle and there was no gap between my teeth but I have come to terms with my imperfections. So yes it is right, feeling good about yourself does come from within. No one else can make you feel good about yourself if you have no confidence. M & J (exes) said the same thing to me when I explained to them how insecure it made me feel when they chose these women (who ironically look a lot alike, which also adds to my issues.) My point is, when you are consistently betrayed and set aside for someone who has all the things you lack, and doesn’t have the flaws you have, it tends to create insecurity. If someone tells you that you have a fat ***, even if you never thought your *** was fat, you may begin to feel insecure and think you have a fat ***.

The thing is, I’m not the kind of woman who wears things that say, “Look at my body.” I’m not the kind of woman that will have sex casually. Anyone, even if you’re semi-retarded and ugly, can have sex with that kind of woman. There is so much more to me than that! I am artistic and creative. I am adventurous and fun. I’m usually down for anything within reason. I am pretty in my own way, and I am definitely cute. I have wit and charm. I am unusually kind and loving. When I love someone I would defend them, take care of them, do anything I could for them. I love good food, drinks and conversation. I am a rare gem and I know that. So don’t mistake me for someone who is shy, insecure, and weak willed because of my issues. It’s not about that at all.

I am not narcissistic. I don’t believe that I am perfect. But I do believe that I am attractive and deserve more respect than I have been given in the past.  

Aw8ingf8 Aw8ingf8
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 16, 2010

I really appreciated this. <br />
You're a good writer and from what I read, you're a beautiful person (inside and out)! I'm not narcissistic or typically jealous, either. And in some ways, I know that I am a rarity, as well. But I tend to focus on the "flaws" more than qualities, most especially when I perceive my reflection. It can be difficult, as other's flaws, especially physically, are less noticeable to me, than my own "flaws". I am always afraid of feeling or sounding arrogant, therefore, I hardly ever tell myself, or accept, praises. I don't want to be reliant on people's opinions of me to feel a certain way. I want to have a stable, honest view of myself. I would like to be more at the honest stage that you are at; where I can look at my flaws AND my qualities, realistically, and be accepting of it. <br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing your story!

Queen, no I love your comments and feedback!

Pierced nipples.... ouch? Yeah, self image is tough for a lot of women... I've always just been happy with what I was given... I don't complain to often... I like the "what you see is what you get" attitude. And if they cheated on you because of something you were lacking in the "looks department" that tells me that they LACK SUBSTANCE.... I can't stand shallow women.... because damn, things happen to your appearance... and if you don't have real love for the person inside... you don't got nothin'!!! Thanx for the share... I'll stop stalking your stories now, I just got on a roll with reading them... lol

Thanks, girl! You always cheer me up with your positve nature! That's why I love you!