Twiddle

I noticed over the past few weeks that I can get depressed in a matter of seconds but being happy seems to be so hard. I feel like I don't deserve to be happy like even when I am I'm waiting for the moment for something to happen to twist my feelings. Waking up everyday thinking "oh great, just another day of school"  has  been my attitude lately and it's weird  because school used to be the one thing I could count on to be my escape, to take me away. But now it's almost an annoyance. I skipped CALM because I didn't feel right and my teacher, who's also my counselor, busted me. And I couldn't explain to him why I felt the way I do. Because I have no idea why I feel this way. All I know is that I'm angry all the time and that makes me depressed sometimes. But oh well, I'll just keep coasting and see who hangs around long enough to ask if everything i alright. Only one person has done it so far and he's now almost tapped into my thoughts... It's weird but a good weird because I can finally talk to someone about things I've kept bottled up for so long. Bye.