TOO Much Talk

I get emotional when I don't sleep. Or if I sleep poorly. When I'm overly tired, everyone knows it. When everyone is trying to be still and just "zone out" Wysteria decides to talk. I don't just mean talk. I mean gabble gabble gabble non stop waah waaah cry help me I'm gonna blow type of talk!

It is then that I break into song - I will sing anything that comes to mind - songs I remember belting out over the "stoep" ( patio) with my siblings as a child, songs from the 80's about love lost and regained, country music and I have even been known to tango as I hum along. Inevitably the songs carry a memory, and wether its Patsy dying in a plane crash or Serena's sudden death, I go from one topic to the other. But its cathartic, as I normally do a lot of emotional digesting in that time. Unfortunately I do it in the presence of others, which is why I keep a close eye on my curfew times (self imposed-I'm a big girl).  I'll pour my soul out to anyone who will listen and am especially good at giving advice - because I'll probably turn it into a dissertation where you forget what your problem was in the first place and your main issue becomes getting me to just shut up - for goodness sake, just shut up! I'll get really emotional and talk and talk to anyone, including the cat. i have been known to fall asleep on my tears and wake up in the same position - as thought I'd been drinking.

I avoid being in social surrounds when I am overtired, but I do not avoid being overtired. I find that if I am, and I cannot sleep, or I keep waking, then my soul is trying to work through something, so out comes the pen and paper and I will write reams and reams on whatever is bothering me, until I find my peace. 

I sometimes pay the price of course- I'm tired the next day. But I'm all talked out, so I'm no danger to anyone, including myself! Lol... Silly Goose that I am!


i guess its good to drink deep from the cup of emotion sometimes.. its made me more me, and I like the me I am now.. Time for bed - see what I mean?

Wysteria1 Wysteria1
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 6, 2009

underEli, lol... hope you had a good kip. Anxiety and preoccupation can also tire you out... how's the job hunting going? Hope the light in that tunnel reaches you soon! Peace

If you don't mind my saying so, I don't think any of us are quite ourselves when we're pooped, yet keep going. The comments about laughter apply to me, as well. Unable to focus as much as when I'm rested, my brain recalls events I may not have thought of for a long time, leaving me to laugh out loud, to myself. <br />
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One of the things I dislike about being tired is how I can start my day or an activity with lots of vigour and gusto, but once that peters, I'm unenthusiastic, even lethargic, about nearly everything. I am content slipping into my own 'quiet space,' which may be good for me, but not a whole lot of fun for others. Funny I should run across this category tonight, as I took a long nap this evening, after getting home from my workshop, and making several phone calls. I'd overextended myself over the last few nights, and knew I was too tired. Eventually, it always catches up to me.

Danemom - Thats Exactly what I'm talking about.. I get told I'm having a "silly attack" when I giggle and giggle and laugh.. and its that belly laugh that is so healing, so incredibly wonderful and uplifting. i've stopped worrying about how others see it - I can sit in a chair and just laugh and nobody is around. I do that sometimes also when work gets too much and I'm Totally worked out - I find a joke site and as stupid as they are, I cry from laughter. Isn't it ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS? Life is sublime, my friend.. sublime... if we can't laugh at ourselves, why bother taking ourselves seriously?