TOO Much Talk
I get emotional when I don't sleep. Or if I sleep poorly. When I'm overly tired, everyone knows it. When everyone is trying to be still and just "zone out" Wysteria decides to talk. I don't just mean talk. I mean gabble gabble gabble non stop waah waaah cry help me I'm gonna blow type of talk!
It is then that I break into song - I will sing anything that comes to mind - songs I remember belting out over the "stoep" ( patio) with my siblings as a child, songs from the 80's about love lost and regained, country music and I have even been known to tango as I hum along. Inevitably the songs carry a memory, and wether its Patsy dying in a plane crash or Serena's sudden death, I go from one topic to the other. But its cathartic, as I normally do a lot of emotional digesting in that time. Unfortunately I do it in the presence of others, which is why I keep a close eye on my curfew times (self imposed-I'm a big girl). I'll pour my soul out to anyone who will listen and am especially good at giving advice - because I'll probably turn it into a dissertation where you forget what your problem was in the first place and your main issue becomes getting me to just shut up - for goodness sake, just shut up! I'll get really emotional and talk and talk to anyone, including the cat. i have been known to fall asleep on my tears and wake up in the same position - as thought I'd been drinking.
I avoid being in social surrounds when I am overtired, but I do not avoid being overtired. I find that if I am, and I cannot sleep, or I keep waking, then my soul is trying to work through something, so out comes the pen and paper and I will write reams and reams on whatever is bothering me, until I find my peace.
I sometimes pay the price of course- I'm tired the next day. But I'm all talked out, so I'm no danger to anyone, including myself! Lol... Silly Goose that I am!
i guess its good to drink deep from the cup of emotion sometimes.. its made me more me, and I like the me I am now.. Time for bed - see what I mean?