Girls Scare Me...

I'm not exactly sure why except that they never seem to like me no matter how hard I try, or don't try.  I was told by my head shrinker (That was a while ago.  I'm better now :p) that I think like a guy.  That would explain why I get along with them just fine.  However, with that said I tend to have problems in relationships.  I've decided I think it's because they don't know how to deal with me.  I don't think like a typical girl thinks.  I think like them and it seems they just can't grasp that.  They think I'm full of it (I've been told this).  I'm not though.  What I say is what I mean and what I mean is what I say.  That's it.  Anyway, this is about being afaid of girls...I've never had a "girl" friend.  I've tried.  It never works out.  I'm not really sure why.  I can get along with anyone and I like doing all sorts of things.  I've never been a real girly, girl.  I've always been a tomboy, but so what.  Why does that even matter? 

OK.  I guess that's all I can say about that.  It would be nice to have a close friend that's a girl.  Guy friends are cool but they end up disappearing too.  It's been my experience that they end up wanting more.  Not a relationship, but the benefits of one.  And, hey I'm all for sex but not with all my friends!  Lol
GodsLilJester GodsLilJester
36-40, F
8 Responses Jul 30, 2010

Exactly! I don't think like a woman at all. My shrink years ago told me I think more like a man than a man. Lol Why do you think I'm complicated, though? It would definitely help me figure this all out if I knew why people thought that :)

Your family can help you with this one...me. We can be friends too. I know how complicated you can be sometimes and I'm used to it. (even though it was a long time ago people are esentially the same) I remember you always had good ideas about what we were going to do next and you were right there doing the games I suggested. I love you cuz. Its really not a problem not getting along with women except for the fact that all your guy friends will want to get in your pants maybe a woman wouldn't. I am the same way though I just like the way men think it's simpler.

I kinda knew that. Lol ;p

Precisely, patientalpha. I could have written every word. I myself, though tend to put it away after accepting it then I pull it out again. It's a process I've been repeating since childhood. Bleh... Lol

That is a really great idea, caring1. That's something I had never thought about. Not sure what it says about me, but still :) <br />
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I have asked a few people, but they were guys. I have no girls to ask. What the guys say is there is just something about me they can't quite put their finger on. It's not anything bad they say. They say I'm nice, a great listener, I'm fun, funny, smart, different from what they expect and different from any of the girls they've ever met. One of them said, "But there's just some things you don't get." And, he's right. There are certain things that don't even enter my mind and although these things are unimportant they set me apart socially, he said. Another guy told me that most people already have enough friends and to have to try and understand me is just too time consuming. He said it's not that there's anything wrong with me but if people feel the slightest bit uneasy for whatever reason they won't bother. That's something that's always been kind of hurtful to me. The way I see it is there's nothing to try and understand. I'm pretty simple. Other people disagree with that though and say I'm complicated. I have no idea why they think that and they can't seem to tell me. It's quite frustrating. I would love it if you would tell me what you see. Thank you so much for offering. I'm reluctant to share certain things in public at this point, but then again that's why I'm using EP. I'm hoping to learn about myself but I know I have to share in order to do so. Yikes...

If you're young for your age, how about joining the big sister program. Maybe a little sister could relate to your interests. By the way, what are your interests? <br />
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Are there any people you trust who would be willing to be your mirror and help you to see yourself as others see you? It's always nice to understand what others see as our positives and negatives.<br />
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If you want to share, I'm willing to give my perspective and suggestions.

Thank you for the comment caring1! I wish it were that simple! I'm fairly certain, though that I don't come on strong at all and completely positive they don't mistake me for a lesbian. Lol. I'm not laughing at your suggestion. Know that. I just can't help picturing what that would be like. Really, I'm pretty mild. I think what it comes down to at this point is age. Like you said. The older I get the harder it's going to be for the reasons you said. It's unfortunate, but who knows. Maybe I'll come across somebody who has the emotional I.Q. level of a 12 year old like I do. Lol. Could happen ;p<br />
Oh, and I also don't have any family members who would or could help me with this. <br />
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Thank you, again for the comment! I do appreciate it :D

Maybe you've come across too strong or too deep for the girls you've approached. Maybe your directness is threatening to them. Maybe they think you are a lesbian and scared of you coming on to them. Try a different setting. Take a college class, and interact with your classmates on the subject being taught. Ask a relative to introduce you to her circle of friends. Do volunteer work. If you interact with them as part of an activity, you may find that they'll get to know you before they can be frightened of you. If you want to stick to the same type of girls you've always approached, learn what they like to talk about and then have conversations on those topics.<br />
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The older you get, the harder it is to develop deep relationships that aren't intimate, as people's lives become more complicated, and they no longer have the time to invest in simple friendships.<br />
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Best wishes in making your connection.