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I Get Rid Of Them Quickly

Yeah, I hate this.  It's totally obvious when they can barely say hello.  They just start in right away on the sex talk.  I usually tell them that I'm not interested.  I had one guy ask for my email, I gave it to him.  I did ask him why we couldn't just pm each other here on Ep.  He gave some  lame excuse but I forgot what it was.  I had never given my email to a man I barely knew but I did it this one time.  Right away he already wanted to come down and see me.  He was being really pushy about it!!!  He lives in upper east Texas.  I told him no, I told him he was crazy.  I asked him, do you always go around meeting total strangers.  I got pissed at him.  Then I was telling another Ep'er about it and how he had apologized.  She said I should just forgive.  Weird thing that had never crossed my mind.  Against my better judgement, I accepted his apology.  So we start instant messaging.  Another bad mistake, he started in again on the sex talk.  To be honest he was totally boring me to death.  I tried to explain to him that I have to know someone, have feelings for them.  He insisted that I would eventually have those feelings for him. 


One day, we had a heart to heart talk.  I was telling him how I didn't want to hurt my husband.  How he is married too and he should not be messing around.  I asked him is this all you do, just go around talking about sex with women.  Well, the next time we chatted he said that I had gotten through to him.  I was shocked!!!  Then he would IM me here and there just to see how I was doing.  Then he just stopped talking to me.  I was still seeing him constantly getting on and off of instant messenger.  I have a feeling he's still making his moves, lol.  I don't care as long as he's not trying to make them on me!!!!    I finally deleted him from my email and my instant messenger.  So I learned a lesson, do not give out email or Im to just anyone.  I've had other men pm me and just very bluntly start in on the sex talk.  I turn them off right away.  Some even tell me to go to their pictures.  Same thing for me looking at a mans penis, it does NOT excite me.  I have to have feelings for the man.  My own husband doesn't believe me when I tell him this but it's the truth.  Goes to show you how much my husband really knows me!!!

TexasLily TexasLily 51-55, F 10 Responses May 23, 2010

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I totally agree with you. I am not against sexting/cybering per se but I have to know the person and feel some sort of rapport. At least once a day, I get some idiot message me with a pic of their "manhood" or straight out ask me very inappropriate questions. I am at a loss on how that would turn anyone on? It is very degrading! Depending in my mood, I either blow them off or they get a mouthful on respecting women lol. Thanks for your post!

It is so rude... we've always known where the typical man's mind is. I would not do that, I like to have feelings for a woman before I would even start doing that... if I'm not going to operate with feelings, there's other ways to fill that void.

Exactly Hun. Well put!

it's surely so frustrating... :(

I don't only want sex chat. lol I'm a good conversationalist. Sex talk is pretty much last resort.

If that's all they can offer they have nothing much going for them, have they? Luckily most men do respect women and don't just leap in with gratuitous crudities.

Most of us do know that's not the way to impress a women, and certainly not to find the way to her heart if romance is hoped for or possible.

We might like to flirt, and I've sometimes enjoyed a mildly saucy laugh with, say, a waitress or work colleague, but only if sure it will be taken the right way, which is very, very difficult to judge in the impersonal world of text messages like these.

Most of us do know that's not the way to impress a women, and certainly not to find the way to her heart if romance is hoped for or possible.

I LIKE THAT PERSPICARES. I am a 54 year old woman but can be really naive when it comes to men. I am learning though.

Thank you TexasLily. I'm quite naive about women, though I have had relationships and have been hurt.

Yeah, Eli, it totally surprises me how men and even some women are just on the net for strickly sex. I never really thought of it as a sense of power though. I'm glad you pointd that out to me. I'm not saying that I'm the perfect angel on or off the internet, cause I'm far from it BUT any man who caomes at me and goes right to the sexual stuff....it's not happening. It's a total insult to me when men just see me as a sexual ob<x>ject. I have a lot to offer people, women and men alike. If they don't want to get to know me for who I truly am, oh well, that's their loss!!! Thanks for the comments Eli. Always happy to hear from a good, decent, caring man!!! :-D

I enjoyed reading this post, TL. I've seen similar themed entries around E.P. Yours tells a good story, in detail. It covers fundamental points about why a lot of people are totally not into the instant sex-chat thing, that at least some chemistry needs to be there first, and the bizarre and inappropriate requests of people for e-mail addresses, phone numbers, and so on, just so they can razzle-dazzle you with tales and pictures of their "potency." The people these folk are really trying to impress are themselves. Like being addicted to ****, it must give men a "high" to pursue random strangers in the hope of sharing something so intimate in an inappropriate and non-personal way. Some twisted sense of power and control over others, maybe?<br />
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I'm proud to say I'm not a member of this crowd. Like you said, and others have echoed, I need to know someone fairly well, have built trust and rapport, before going there. Most of the time it doesn't end up happening anyway.

Hi Satin, well if you're not one of these men, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. I have some males friends here, who I care very much for. Some of us even joke around here and there about sex BUT it's not the only thing we talk about. That makes the difference!!! ;-)

Hello Kitten, most of them I don't even give them the chance, as soon as they start, that's it!! A few of them think they're slick and sort of snake in on us, then I say NO!!! For the most part, yeah, I don't give them the time of day but still, it does get annoying!!

Second time in two days I'm ashamed to be male.

LOL, hello Punk, I have no idea. Some women probably like it. To each his own I say. If that's their thing, have fun, but it's really not my thing. I have many other interesting things to talk about. I don't mind talking about sex but not in the way they want to.