Libido... Isn't It A Funny Thing!

It can be such a tease, when you have it, but you haven't got your partner to unleash your desire! And then it can be such a nuisance, when you lost it!

As I have once mentioned in a story, my libido had gone missing in my late forties. My appetite for sexual encounters was non-existent. Whenever my husband initiated the dreaded intimate routine, I was mentally put off and tried to find all sorts of excuses to avoid my wifely duty. I knew, it was my fault, as my husband tried really hard to stimulate and please me, so I set out on the journey to find my libido again.

I saw a Homoeopath in the hope to find some natural remedy, but wasn't successful. Next was the search through Indian Ayurweda medicines and formulations, which also didn't make any difference. The internet turned out to be a somewhat helpful media: by watching computer animated figures going through different sex routines just before I went to bed, I was halfway ready to face my husband in the bedroom to give him what he wanted. But it was still nowhere like the natural arousal that I had experienced in my earlier years of marriage.

I went to internet adult shops and ordered warming oils and a couple of toys, as well as Ben Wa balls. The Ylang Ylang oil was sort of an eye opener, with the heat it produced, but the warning label says clearly: it's desensitizing in long term use, so definitely not the solution I was after!

So my pursuit to find more libido went on. I read on the internet about submission and the BDSM lifestyle and suddenly my imagination kicked in. I hadn't come across this aspect of a relationship before, at least not knowingly. I ventured on to read stories of people, who lived this way and suddenly I found myself spellbound. To my astonishment, reading about obedience and submission, made me moist with longing and I knew I was on the comeback!

I started writing my own 'erotic fantasy stories' and while I did so, I ended up being aroused to the point, where I regretted that my husband wasn't around to seduce him right there and then.

The most startling thing was however, that I not only wanted a quick bedroom session with him, I craved being submissive to him in everyday's life as well. Not in the BDSM style, but just to surrender and obey to my husband, who in my eyes always was the dominant partner in our marriage. In most erotic submission stories, the obedient 'servant' has to give herself to the Master, whenever he demands it. This aspect was something that suddenly triggered such a strong desire in me, to comply unquestioningly, when my husband made a sexual advance. The more often he wanted me, the more I longed to give him my body and soul each and every time.

He takes good care of me, looking after my desires and fulfilling my needs mostly before he unleashes his own urge. We both feel satiated and content in our lovemaking and this transpires into our daily life. I have started my journey into obedience and am well and truly on the path to submission. My libido is on an all time high and so is my spiritual well being!

It's hard to explain this to other women, who have lost their libido. It might not be of any help to them, if they don't feel the need to submit.  But in my opinion, it's definitely well worth exploring, as a life without libido is a really sad story.
IQplusfun IQplusfun
56-60, F
3 Responses May 17, 2012

I enjoyed your story and I'm glad you got it back and now know what works for you :o)

Very interesting read, thank you very much for sharing it with U/us. this one can totally relate as it has been since forever as sex and intimacy has rarely ever gotten this one off on its own. You did mention about the Ylang Ylang oil and the heat it gave off, this one can totally relate to loving heat/sensations very much too.<br />
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It is not always in relation to age as in this ones case, it could just be simply inner desires and discovering deeper passions. Also the same old, same old can get boring for any age or for anyone. Hopefully, nobody just accepts that it is over as there is always new beginnings.<br />
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Congratualtions in finding your new found passion. :)

Brilliant for you<br />
So glad you found your libido again<br />
Hugs<br />
Sammi