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Sick Of It....

I have no friends left due to various circumstances that were not my fault. One got arrested for crimes against kids, the other was my best friend of 13 years but I got fed up with her spoiltness and the fact that things always had to be her way or no way at all. She also kept dropping out of nights out and I was fed up with it all. I was friends with her husband also but because I fell out with her, he no longer speaks to me.
I had a friend who I met through work but who isn't a work colleague but she has depression and always gets angry with me/gives me the silent treatment over the smallest thing and I am sick of it.
Since then, things have been pretty hard. I am very lonely and feel bitter and sad all the time as well as angry at myself. What hurts is that I try and initiate friendships at work but it never happens. It is like everyone has their own little circle of friends and a partner and they aren't interested in meeting anyone new. Or it is just me, I don't know.
One was going to meet me for a drink but didn't text me back to confirm it, I was also close to another work colleague but she moved away, got married and isn't answering my texts as to when we should next meet up.
I am tired of this. I try but never get anywhere in my life. I am tired of the daily struggle and feel angry. I am a good person so why do I keep being rejected? I feel like people get close to me for a while but then disappear when they have had enough. I am also convinced I have some kind of mental disorder such as borderline personality or high functioning autism. I must have something wrong with me to be in this much of a state in my life.

Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 22, 2011

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I understand how you feel. I work and yet I have no real close friendships. I used to date but they never seem to call me back. My friend I have known for years has a wife and kid and so he never calls to say hello anymore. I see his wife online more then him. We were all friends. I think we still are. I understand how you feel.