Many Things Drive Me Mad

Sadness is one of those things that comes with being fed up with the lack of attention being married brings. Nothing like that cold and alone, neglected and used, violated and unintentionally ignored. People pay to be this: legally wed. Why don't they instead pay for a maid, chef, and someone to do laundry, it might be better on the ego, of course being wed is cheaper and brings an amount. How am I supposed to describe the frustration not being able to get a simple sentence in due to his gaming or forum ranting or talk about my feelings, needs or ideas brings, this builds to a sadness like no other. He can't help that he doesn't care. He's not violent, it's a consensual sexual relationship devoid of any communication, so I guess I shouldn't complain, and really I am not. He just doesn't realize the need for companionship marriage brings sometimes, he has the internet and video games for that. The detachment is so strong it is the foundation, and that is odd. That's fine, if I could give a moment to care it might be something, however that's all but been forgotten. Faithful, I am to him. Is he to me I have no idea, do I care, just a reason to detach and not wonder. If this is what marriage was about, and had I known, it was a simple legally alone and sad union of clean up after him and cook something so he doesn't have to and be polite unquestionable and trusted, would I have gotten legally married without a wedding, nah, I would of left the situation as is, and not thought about it afterwords. I thought marriage was a we thing, not a me thing and you pay for it.
PseudonymRecent PseudonymRecent
31-35, F
Jul 16, 2010