Looking for Love (and Sex)

Some of the women on here, I believe, have a different view of me and what I want.  Yes, I am looking for sex, because I've been deprived of it for two years by a wife who doesn't seem to care anymore.  No, that's not all I'm looking for.  The horny side of me is doing most of the talking right now, and I think people should be able to realise why.  Yes, if some woman came up to me and proposed having sex, I'd do it!  But I'm getting older, and I want more.  I guess I haven't been too forthcoming with some of these women about that, which is unfortunate.  I love younger women, and get along best with them.  I'm still 20 years old at heart in a lot of ways.  I want someone to go to the movies with, concerts (rock), walking in the woods, taking pictures, playing pool, having sex, cuddling, kissing, talking, flirting, and just having a good time.  Is that asking too much?  So, I'm going to have the ladies read this before we get serious.  I've gotten serious with two women on EP.  One turned me down and I haven't heard from the other in over a month.

IanMatthew IanMatthew
56-60, M
47 Responses Apr 25, 2010

I can say that a relationship that goes more then 6 months without action is a dead end one. Im sorry SB but I stayed in a relationship 8 years too long and I am now paying for it in alamoney some 11 years later and will probably be doing so for another 6 years and I will be almost 63. I was awarded the 4 children to raise, she took 75% of the cash and now reaps a cool 30% of my income annually. This is a bunch of crap!, do not stay in a relationship that has no emotional rewards, making love is just one piece, if there is no flame, then other parts of the relationship break down too. Trust, Honor, and self-worth to name a few.

My kind of girl!

Ill give you sex Ian matthew haha jk you seem like a sweet guy and I get too attached too,I think its healthy to have emotional relationships:]

I sent you a friend request!

Talk to me :3

So, honey, talk to me, talk to me!

You might be happy to know that I've been divorced since August.

I'm not happy about that for the disharmony you've experienced, but I am pleased for you that you are now available to meet a great woman! I hope your life in singledom is short-lived!

I don't know you, but I do know men in your situation. I think the trick to finding the girl/woman you are looking for, is to stop being married to the one you have. I think of myself as a great "catch." I'm not looking for an affair or to be someone's mistress. I want a man to share all the things you wrote about, and then be able to go home with him at night. Being discreet in a relationship is like having sex with condoms: necessary for fooling around, but a waste when you are honest and truthful with your partner.

I understand what you're saying.

This started a long time ago.

We females know things about you men that we live with.....We are intuitive and creatively investigative....<br />
Maybe your wife knows you like younger women, that's no way to get her to "warm up" to your sexual advances is it? <br />
I think she knows!

I think I sent you a friend request. Would love to hear from you.

I'm really trying. Haven't had any complaints from them yet!

Chuckle...all of those women that have trouble geting their husbands to have sex can just call me...LOL...damn happy to oblige em...ALL of em !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go get 'em Ian..<br />
<br />

I guess only another guy could really understand, though many of my female friends I think understand. I think it varies from woman to woman. Some women on here have trouble getting their husbands to have sex with them. Thanks for the advice.

Ian...<br />
<br />
Saw your post while peeking at a new friends profile. From another guys perspective and from one who's about your age, I had a couple of thoughts. It has been mostly (completely) gals who have commented to you (well done, by the way) and they all seem a bit disbelieving that your wife could just up and decide she doesn't want sex anymore. IT HAPPENS !! It doesn't always have a medical reason...it doesn't always have a REASON..it just happens! Here's a bit of PURE WISDOM..pay attention now cuz this is worth money in the bank.....are ya listening????? MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT !!!!! Guys ARE horngogs..pretty much no matter how we try to clean it up! We're suppossed to be!!!! Women function differently! They can have sexdrives every bit as powerful and out of control as any man..but generally speaking....it just isn't the same. <br />
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I'm married....I have lovers/subs on the side..I am a very experienced partner...and I know that sometimes the mysteries of the universe just kick in !! Don't beat yourself up! If you choose to stay with your wife..respect her and be discreet..but don't deny yourself due to her difficulty. I think you'd do better on a egular "hook up" site..specifically one like ADULT friend finder..you can find people only interested in sex there. EP is a bit different...lots of posers and wannabes on here..<br />
<br />
Good luck/hunting partner....<br />
<br />
KK (Tim)

No clothes on?

Oh. We'll have to find out.

To learn what things?

There's a lot more to me than just sex. It's just that sex has been number 1 on my mind for a while now.

I've always known that about you Ian ... doesn't come as any surprise to me that there's more to you than just a horny devil ... good for you for sharing though ...


Sounds good to me.

Thank you, my dear.

That ship has sailed.

Wow, Ian, that really took a lot of Humility on your part to share from your Heart and to be very Vulnerable.....I can see why your frustrated, because..... for one I totally understand why Men desire sex more than women its because that's how God created you.... women on the other hand ( not all) sex to women is totally different ....tenderness, listening, being totally vulnerable to them, sharing your deepest thoughts and struggles and admitting your shortcomings.... actually turns women more than anything have you tried doing this with your wife...just being totally unashamed and Vulnerable to her..... finding our what her love language is and taping into it just might be worth your wild....there are 5 types of love languages and if your filling her tank with the wrong one she is empy like a gas tank in a car she wont GO!!! sorta speak ...my encouragment to you change yourself and she will change we can't do anything about another person we can only change ourselves and create change in others...you sound like an awesome Man that needs direction .....don't look for it else where you have all you need right in fornt of you TRUST ME!!

Thank you, honey.

Oh Ian, I have been where you are now with getting too attached to people, esp. here on EP. Getting close to someone here is an exercise in frustration. I have been rejected or humiliated here more times that I want to remember. That is why I'm trying to be on here more than I have to. Getting close to someone else and then having them hurt me again is just too much. I empathize with you, I really do. ::hugs::

Thank you.

how bad to hear that you'd been close to two EP women then being turned down while the other is nowhere to be found...misery..then you don't have sex for 2years from a non-caring wife...pity..it's a sum of total tragedy..I wish you well..we have our own marital woes but we have to live with it coz it's a sacred vow that spells 'till death do us part'..and since your wife is diabetic, she needs you more than ever now than during your younger years..getting old together is a wishful thinking in such situation but for me marriage should be forever and discreet sidelines might be forgivable given the said scenario.

Probably just as I got older.

I've dealt with it all. She is diabetic, but she's been saying she doesn't like sex anymore, and just doesn't cooperate.

I Hate that you are going through this, However have You Sat with Her to try to Figure out if She may have an health problem that She is Not 'telling' You? I cannot see the out right 'refusal of sex' as being a valid thing if There Are No Health/Neuralogical Problems to deal with. You are Direct and Honest,so logically, I have drawn the conclusion that You Did try to 'Communicate' with Her concerning this. Is She far 'Older than You? This would present its own set of Problems. Maby She needs more shrimp, curry, and 'Omega-3'S TO DEAL WITH HER PROBLEM.Good Luck with this.

I've thought about it.

Ian -- have you tried Match.com? I tried that a few years back and it was a good experience... I didn't stay because I changed my life direction and dating was no longer my interest but for people who want to find someone to date, it was a good choice. And fun.<br />
It's my understanding that EP is more about sharing experiences and thoughts and giving and getting feedback. Hope you don't leave EP, but you might want to consider a dedicated dating site for searching for a mate to have better luck finding ladies with the same thing in mind. Good luck!

You want to have an affair with me?

Those are things I miss,too. I am not a huge concert goer but I have enjoyed the few I went to. Everything else you said I love. I am very passionate about photography and have done my own exploring with it...self-teaching kinda. The technical stuff goes WAY over my head. I just go out and shoot. I have done a few photo shoots with family members and a friend. I love nature and going for walks. I live with chronic pain unfortunately and I am limited on how much I can do. I have always had a lot of fun going to a good restaurant and catching a flick. I think most people do. As for sex, cuddling, kissing, talking, flirting...absolutely!

hi there ian... it must be hard for you to endure it all, but i cannot keep myself from asking you this... have you talked to your wife about it? all those years you've been together, i mean, there must still be something that makes you or both of you hold on to each other unconsciously... 2 yrs of a sexless marriage, sorry to say this, but its not valid reason for me... my mama & papa dont have sex for 6yrs now and yet they're still together...their marriage is not smooth, they still fight, but somehow, along the way, i can still say, that our family is still blessed... i believe that couples can fall out of love sometimes, but can still fall in love back with each other, so i hope there's still something that can be done about it for you and your wife...

Thank you, sweetie.

Ian,<br />
I give you respect, what you wrote had to be very hard, you really opened up not knowing the replies you would get .. Wanting more then sex is awesome, and you even admitted the "horney side" of you was talking.. you are romantic but very outgoing.. <br />
you seem not happy with relationship with wife. but to open up let guard down like that, had to be hard for you, that take guts.. <br />
sounds like your awesome guy,

Thank you.

Thank you, honey. Interested in an older guy?

Now you know my secret! I'm a romantic.

Wow! You really aren't just a horn dog after all :-) hehehehe!!!!!!!

You're welcome... :)

Thank you for the comment and the sentiment.

I don't think that wanting "more" than a sexual relationship is necessarily much to do with age.<br />
<br />
Many younger people I know are astute enough to want and seek a well-balanced relationship in their early twenties, or even late-teens, for some.<br />
<br />
I feel this has more to do with emotional intelligence, rather than the number of years spent on earth.<br />
<br />
What you are asking for is certainly not too much Ian.<br />
<br />
Wishing you much happiness in finding the one you seek... :)