I Know I Am There Mother But...

Ok I hope you all know by now that i am just as normal as the rest of you...I have real feeling, includingANGER... I love the Lord and i Love the people around me , I am hapy to do what i can for anyone who needs a hand, I will give my very last to help make it someone elses first. 

I tend to get more angry with my children than a friend that will or even has stabbed me in the back.. I dont know why.  First of all I have four of them.  So maybe I feel like i am being ganged up on.  They range in age from10 to 4, so i have a lot of personality changing to do in a day to accompany each age.  I feel so worn out by the end of the day that i am too tired to sleep.  you think i am odd right?  I am for real.  I need down time in the middle of down time.  LOL.  My kids are good when compared to other people's children , so why am i so angry with them all the time?

1.They are always fighting.  Alot of the time it is physical.

2.They wont clean there rooms....typical childhood rebellion?

3.they listen better to complete strangers than they do me and i hate that.

I love that my kids respect others, but come on , they make it look so easy.  I have even tried to live like other poeple i see my kids are good for just so they will be good for me that way, Doesnt work, I guess it is because it is still me.

4. I cant stand the way my oldest rolls her eyes when i say to do the dishes...yeah that burns me up, feel like screaming.

5. my husband is there bestfriend and they listen to him because it hurts teir feelings when he gets mad at them.

I think the number one things that makes me sooooo mad that i want to spit nails is when they fight and hurt eachother.  I would give anything to have my little sister back and i have gone to the extreme by telling them the whole story of her death , thinking that they will appreciate having eachother around, then when they go to bed someone gets hit or knocked down and i feel like all i have shared was in vein.

Sometimes i get so frustrated with them i find myself crying because, i dont want to hit them and screaming at them is doing no good.  I have even let my oldest have her way for a day to show her how important it is to have order in the house.  So i didnt wash her clothes, i didnt wash the dishes, she went to bed when she wanted to on a school night, and other than the fact that she was just sleepy in school , it seems to have just made more work for me in the long run.  I feel so tired at the end of the day just from being a mother that sometimes when i go to work i wish i could just stay there.  That  sounds horrible i know but it is true. 

My husband and i do not spank unless it is the last resort.  i have been abused and i am afraid that if i start to spank i wont stop so i just dont do it.  Outside of the house they  are great.  Honestly , more often than not i think about what it would be like to not have children.  I dont want to think like that because i know they are little blessings, why couldnt they have come with a button to turn them off and on .  Start the good behavior and stop the bad, and pause , for all the times the are perfect , jsut so i can hold that memory forever?

now that i have written about them i feel bad because i know lots of people that have kids that are just aweful, and i know mine are not, i just wish i saw the good all the time.

luvbugg77 luvbugg77
26-30, F
4 Responses Apr 6, 2007

I have a similar problem. I know how to fix it but it takes two. My wife underminds m all the time and that sends different messages to the kids. Not saying thats your issue but it might be. You and your husband need to be on the same page and support one another. The kids must see that you two agree and enforce each others rules and directions, right or wrong. If wrong, enforce it and speak to your spouse after. I know, easier said than done.

thankyou for that. I really dont like it when people say to hit , that is not me and i know it wont solve anything. I love my kids and would die if i ever caused physical pain. We will be alright. thanks again.

hey thanks for all the advice. My husband is ex-military, and we have done some type of military punishment . that works very well, but like i said they do well for him and i get to fight with them. But I will take what you guys have said and run with it , cant hurt....well i guess it could if i spanked...lol

Lol, my mom has six of us. Think about that. controlling kids is hard but needs to be done. They will probably walk all over you if they feel you are not a threat to them. I think you should read parenting books they may help. Personally if I had kids and they did that roll there eyes thing I would increase their work load. I would tell them why, tell them how long they have to do it and then stay strict on it. If they continue, add a few more. If they still continue make the time limit they have to do it for longer. If that all doesn't work, well at least you have a clean house, lol. But you have to know when to pick your battles.