My Misscarriage

at sixteen weeks I went to my doc for my normal check-up . The time came for me to hop up on that table and check baby's heart beat. It was not detected not in the first minutu not in the tenth, what made this so difficult for me was that this same thing happened to me 3 years age at the exact 16 week appointment.  My palms started to get sweaty and I started making jokes like oh he must be hiding on you,as more time went by, I was taken to ultra-sound, as soon as the picture came up on the little screen I calmly asked if there was a heartbeat, I waited for what felt like an eternity and finally she said no fetal heartbeat. I cried and bellowed how could this happen again? When I finally got my **** together I drove home and shared the news everyone was devestated. I was admitted at the hospital the next morning to be induced, yes i had to deliver this tiny soul, they gave me a hand full of pills and i took them, my husband and i watched movies on the laptop, and nothing happened until about 5 a.m. I woke up to a gush of fluid, the nurses rushed in and I had passed most of it, I had slipped into a little bit of shock after this , when they finally got me back to bed they brought in a little box and asked if we wanted to see our son, of course we did , he looked perfect, all his little parts were there, why did he have to leave us. We named him and kissed him softly, and after all this i was sent for a d&c to clean the rest out. I have three healthy children but long for that fourth, I just don't know if I could go through this again. any suggestions on prevention?

villagemom villagemom
1 Response Mar 22, 2009

First let me say I am so sorrry for your loss! I am sitting here in tears thinking back to how it felt for me and know the feeling you get when the dopplar doesnt find that heartbeat. I have had 3 miscarriages that I had medical assistance with, 2 that didnt require aid because it was so early. I seem to have troubles with week 12 or there about. My first was 1999, second was 2001 (twins) and last was 2008. There were no "causes" found, and unless they find a "cause" there are no ways to prevent it. I had alittle girl in 2005 and getting ready to have another within the next few weeks so there is hope after a miscarriage. I have tried to remember the book I read after my second miscarriage, it gave me so much hope and made me feel so much better, if I think of it I will let you know. One of the key points I took from it was that when you miscarry the babys body just wasnt able to thrive, but the soul goes up and waits, and when you get pregnant again it is with the same precious child (well same soul). This thought helped me through many a night, knowing that my child was waiting on the day that they could be born. Good luck and let yourself heal both mentally and physically before you try again, if that is what you tend to do.