More Im And Email Advice

OK, I'm writing this story because I've had to deal with some pretty bad emailers/IMers lately and It sparked an idea to maybe put some more advice out there on this subject.

I'm on the dating site OK Cupid and have been for several years. I just recently switched over from a dating profile to one devoted to locating and communicating with other polyamorous people. I wrote in my profile that I was NOT interested in dating, and that anyone who emailed me for the purposes of dating would not get a response.

this did not stop the men who did not read my profile, or chose to ignore it. I understand that this happens, but I wanted to share two most recent messages, which completely illustrate my previous advice about emailing when on dating sites.

One guy wrote "Poly wanna cracker... LOL". that's it. He didn't ask any questions about polyamory, he didn't compliment me, he didn't ask about my life or my interests, or even say anything about himself. He made a bad joke, then threw in a very feminine "LOL" at the end. Yuck. Please write specific, interesting, question oriented emails to women on dating sites. Please.

The next winner? A guy wrote "The damage I would do to you... ;)". 1. The "damage" he would do? CREEPY, and it quite frankly doesn't sound apealing. Not only that, but he apparently didn't read my profile, or didn't think it applied to him. Please read a woman's profile before messaging her. Please

And lastly... Especially here on EP, I've run into several men who've started emails and IMs with me by saying "Hi. How are you?" Or "How are you doing?"

To be polite, I'll answer back "fine. and you?". Then they'll respond "I'm great" or "good". by then, I'm already asleep. it's SOOOOOO boring. If you IM me, please have something to say. Ask about my pics, my stories, tell me something about yourself. Even hitting on me or offering me sexual favors (though not quite welcome) is more interesting than "Hi. How are you?". My god! What is the point of contacting someone to make polite chit chat. These are words that people have repeated to one another, every day of their lives, for hundreds of thousands of years. come up with something better!

OK, I'm done ranting. Even if I may sound critical, all of this is to help you guys out. I care about men and want them to be successful in their dating lives, because that means more awesome men for me! :D
Fayerweather Fayerweather
36-40, F
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

Hmmm, you seem that you would be of greater help for me than I how much I would've thought though no special effort of your own.

Must ask why are you so critic of "LOL" and the smilies? They are not specifically feminine -in my opinion- they can be friendly as well. Or to clear out any online statement which can be ambiguous with negativity...

If you're a strong, solid guy who makes his own decisions and has a strong frame, you can use emoticons and smileys. If you are indecisive, insecure, needy or overly seeking a woman's approval, then they are a death sentence for romance. Sad but true

Noted, thank you.