Enough Is Enough

I Wa not popular growing up. Kids made my life miserable, and probably contributed to some of my social anxieties. I prevailed. I grew up made friends, not rally ones I'm super close with but good friends. I have also had romantic relationships. Horrible ones. I kept going because since I was a little girl I believed there was some one wonderful and special out there waiting for me. I just don't think I am one of those people that finds the love of their life. I hoped I have been cheated on, beat, sodomized, ignored, insulted, strung along, robbed,, and punished for the wrong doings of other women. I feel too much with my heart to be perfectly honest. I play hard, but I'm soft. I just can't go through this any more. I officially throw my towel in!

bizzarlyfabulous bizzarlyfabulous
26-30, F
5 Responses Feb 11, 2009

I have tried to find love and I did, but it would just lead to a rejection.<br />
I have tried to NOT find love. I would find guys who wanted to date me, but it didn't lead to a relationship.<br />
I have tried to focus on loving myself but it would just lead to a handful of friends and a bit of peace.<br />
I have tried to focus on others, but it just led to a lot of distraction, busyness and in the end some emptiness.<br />
I used to believe that love is for everyone, but I haven't found it and I have given up.<br />
I used to want to get married but I have been through SO many different types of 'ways' to get it (including not trying at all). I've been through SO many different experiences, including guys who play hard to get, not hard to get, tell me they hate me, tell me they want to marry me...I do not want to go through it anymore.<br />
I'm thinking to myself, if I have this much trouble finding a guy, how much more trouble am I gonna have keeping him? Staying married to him? Being long-term with him?

That is EXACTLY how I feel....

i totally understand and i am right there with you. the only thing i ask is to please never stop believing in love. sometimes i get so depressed because i lost that love of my life - the guy that i though was "the one" and i absolutely do not date anymore either because of my own fear or because my heart just isn't open to it yet because it is still healing. but i do believe that the right person will come in time. i do not think that i know better than god and by saying that the man that left me was "the one" is saying that god's will is incorrect. we were NOT supposed to be together and God is right in all that he does even if it means that my love is gone and i am single right now & a little lonely. i know that i have to be patient and fully heal so that i can offer my whole self to somebody and not some broken girl. <br />
god bless you and dont give up just take care of you.

Hello. I am no expert, but I do know about the things you have gone through......been there, done that. <br />
I found out that in order to attract love, you really have to feel love.......to love yourself. Treat yourself the way you desire to be treated and love yourself the way you wish to be loved and do it continually. If you do this, I promise you that more of the same will start flooding into your life. But you really have to put forth a true and honest effort to to love yourself and treat yourself exactly how you want others to treat you for this to work. I am doing it. It works. Please try it because you deserve true love, we all do (weather or not you know it, it is our birthright to have the very best that is on offer).<br />
Bright Magickal Blessings,<br />
The Lady

I so hear you. I decided in 2000 that I wasn't going to play that game any more, after my last bad experience. Believe me, I had many. I do not think that my mental health makes it possible to have a positive romantic experience. I am much happier without trying. I think we have to be true to ourselves. Maybe love will find you, maybe not, but either way, you have to respect yourself. Don't ever let someone try to take you away from the things that make you what you are. That's not a person worth being with.

I think that love is something that you make, not something you find. I think that the finding is just finding a person that you can love, and then working together in order to make and keep the love between you. <br />
I think love is best when it sneaks up on you in the guise of a good friendship with a good person, the grows into something more. "Love is friendship set on fire" is my favorite French proverb. <br />
The men you have been with do not sound like good people. I hope that one day you will meet a good person, and love with sneak up on you.