Kept Diaries Off And On Since I Was 7

Amazingly I still have most of them. It's not often I go back and read, a lot of time it's painful, but occasionally I do. Some of these journals from my preteen and teenage years are from the roughest times of my life, and it breaks my heart to read them. I was in a lot of pain then and self-harmed. I just want to give young Lauren a hug and comfort her. In this diary I kept at 15, there is an entry where I said I was keeping a diary because I wanted to always remember what my hopes, fears, concerns were when I was 15. In case I forgot what it was like I could go back and read and remember. It's amazing how much I've change since then (I am now 41), but at the same time I struggle with some of the same feelings. At the very least if I could somehow talk to 15-yr-old Lauren I would tell her that the worst is behind her. It really only gets better from here.
lauren71 lauren71
41-45, F
Aug 8, 2013