I'm Cold, Where Are You?

  I've lived with my boyfriend for almost a year now, he and I met like any normal street riff raff couple, at some random hang out where we ended up at his friends with my friends and eventually decided to give each other a chance. Oo romantic, I know. Well in August of last year he came to me asking what I thought of him joining the USAF. I had my doubts, but he gave me reassurance that he would be safe and gave me all of the details. He then told me that he wanted to marry me giving me all of his military benefits. Though my mother decided that I would have to finish school first and we were totally bummed, we honored it and are still dating.

  He recently left for BMT, and the past weeks have been brutal, I'm still waiting on that first letter as well as still getting used to sleeping alone, well the cat at least sleeps at the foot of the bed. Though recently I have been having the same problem. When he and I would sleep I would become very cold, I would turn over and burrow into his back causing him to roll over and hold me until I was warm enough and then rolling me back to my side continuing to cuddle me. I keep having the same problem, I'm freezing, I roll over and...no one is there, just the body pillow, I grab onto it but it's no warmer than me, it doesn't cuddle me or hold me tightly until I'm warm, it just lays there. I continue to shake until I snap awake, looking around seeing all of his things spread around the room and well, there I am in silence wishing that he was there.

 Now I can no longer sleep, all I can do is think about him, and when I do finally get to sleep there are tears in my eyes and I am fighting to keep my sniffles silent. I wake the next day still thinking about him and refusing to get out of bed. This is depression my friends and it's safe to say that I am suffering from it, but as I push each day the same as the last I have to hold hope that this will get better, soon, it will get better and I won't be thinking of him before I go to sleep, I'll be kissing him before I go to sleep.

donspanda31 donspanda31
22-25, F
Mar 9, 2009