...and I Still Get Aroused Thinking About ItParents who think about spanking their kids as discipline should really think about what a sexual act it is. I was spanked for as long as I can remember, and for as long as I can remember, it has been a turn on. Spanking is still my #1 ************ fantasy, even though most of my spankings were by my mom or dad.
My mom did most of the spanking at our house when we were little, but when each of us reached puberty, my dad took over our spankings. Spankings were always openly discussed and threatened and I found the threats to be as much of a turn on as the spankings, even when an actual spanking did not materialize. I still fantasize about some of the often used threats: "Do you need me to take down your pants?" or "I ought to take your pants down right here!" (often said in public). Then there was, "Do you need me to take off my belt?" and my dad's favorite for a serious punishment, "I'm about to give you the whipping of your life."
Neither of my parents hesitated to spank us in front of others or in public and semi-public places. Church was a common place to receive a spanking, either in the lounge area of the ladies room (if my mom was the spanker), the "cry-room," usually used by my dad or the parking lot. I was also spanked once by a youth pastor and a deacon when I misbehaved at church functions.
My sisters were spanked, but not my brothers. I remember my dad explaining this to my older sister, telling her that girls needed to be humbled by having their pants down and being taken over their father's knee. This just further reinforced my feeling that spankings were sexual. I was really turned on listening to that spanking, administered to her when she was 17 and she came home after curfew with my brother who was a year younger. It happened in our den, which was an open room with no doors, adjacent to the living room where I had pretended to fall asleep. I knew the spanking was coming because my dad had started talking about it after curfew passed. When my sister came home, he immediately gave her about ten swats over her pants and then ordered her into the den and told her to "Take down your pants!"
First she resisted and begged him not to spank her. His response was "I'm not just going to spank you, I'm going to whip you good!" That's when she asked how come by brother wasn't getting the same punishment and he explained that spanking is only effective for girls. This is pretty much what most people at our church believed, although there were a few boys I knew of that got paddled.
When my sister continued to resist, Dad told her, "Don't make me take down your pants for you," and then he yanked her pants and panties to her knees before she could respond. She stood before him crying and squirming, then he guided her to his side and said, "Get over here," as he pulled her over his knee.
Now my view was from the side and I thrilled at watching my dad's hand come down over and over on my sister's bare bottom. She was bucking up and down near the end and had to be told to hold still. Eventually he stood her up and she stood beside him crying, sniffling and begging for mercy.
"I told you I was going to whip you with my belt and now you're getting the belt," he said. The position we got the belt in was either lying flat on our bed, or bent over the back of a couch or chair. The back of the couch was a painful position because it was high enough to make our feet barely touch the floor, which resulted in a taught bottom and inability to move away from the belt. Dad had been sitting on the couch when he spanked my sister, and for her whipping, he positioned her over the back of the couch, her hands on the couch cushions, facing my direction.
The sound of a belt being unbuckled and freed from its loops always turned me on, and this time was no exception. My sister wailed as soon as Dad took of his belt, but she screamed when he brought it down on her naked bottom and thighs. He was a fast and furious spanker most of the time and he used his belt all the way down our thighs. He focused a lot on the area where bottom met thigh. I couldn't see much of my sister, just her torso bent over the couch, but I watched my dad's face while he whipped her and I pictured what he was looking at. It turned me on to think of the times he had seen me bare.
I was so turned on by my sister's spanking that I contrived to get my own bare bottom spanking soon after. Her spanking was on a Friday night and on Sunday, I sassed my mom repeatedly, a pet peeve of my dad's. Before church, I argued with her about eating breakfast and what to wear. I was 14 and these sort of petty arguments, which I was too old to be having with my mom, were typically what earned me a spanking at that age. My dad warned me by referencing my sister's spanking: "I'm going to give you what I gave C**** if you don't shape up."
I continued after church, sassing my mom about doing the dishes. I actually got really carried away with it and didn't even realize my dad had come into the room. I turned and saw him and knew by the look on his face that I had earned what I'd set out to get. As usual, I felt a thrill of fear as well as arousal when he ordered me to get into the den and get my skirt up and my panties down. I was wearing a dress with a fairly full skirt and when he saw that it was in the way he asked my mom to come in and help me get it off. I ended up in my bra with my panties at my knees. I was shaking, but not just with fear.
The lecture my dad gave me is something I often fantasize about. He said he was tired of me disrespecting my mom and he's ignored it for too long. He said I'd needed the belt for awhile now and I was going to get it good today. He told me that he'd be giving me the belt anytime I sassed my mom from now on because I was old enough not to do that at all, ever. He said he'd take off his belt wherever and whenever, he didn't care who was watching. At this time, my siblings were conveniently in the living room where they had the same perspective I'd had the other night. I felt very conscious of my front, which was covered in a fine fur at that point.
Then Dad took me over his knee and brought his hand down hard on my bottom for what seemed like forever. I always fantasized about rubbing myself to climax on his pants, but the positioning never really worked out that way. Still, I got some pleasure out of squeezing my legs together and bucking, as my sister had. I wondered, and still wonder, if either of my sisters were as turned on by spanking as I was/am.
It was a turn on to have my dad's hand touching such an intimate area, especially when he smacked lower down on my bottom. Still, it hurt a LOT. He had a habit of hitting one spot over and over until I couldn't take it anymore. His hands were large and rough and they left my bottom feeling raw and chapped. As he spanked me, he told me all about the whipping I was about to get with his belt and about how I clearly needed more of the belt than I'd been getting.
Eventually he stood me up and he also stood up. He stood in front of me and unbuckled his belt. I was really scared, as I always was at this point, because he was bigger than me and his belt whippings were hard. No matter how aroused I was, it was scary to have a large man take a thick leather belt to my teenaged bottom. My toes barely touched the floor when I was bent over the couch. My already burning skin felt stretched tight and I felt exposed. Once he started to whip me, all I wanted was for it to stop, even though after it stopped I wanted it to continue. This whipping truly was one of the worst of my life. I screamed and cried. Dad held my back to keep me down and he blistered my bottom and thighs. I couldn't sit afterwards. I got sent to my room until evening church services. Of course, I *********** multiple times thinking about it, turned on even more when Dad came in to lecture me just before church.
"I know I whipped you good," he said, "but you need to get up and get ready for church." He looked at my whipped bottom to make sure I wasn't seriously injured, commenting again that he had "whipped you good," and left me to get dressed. It was strangely pleasurable to sit on the church pew that night and I *********** until I was sore that night.
That wasn't the first or last time I tried to get a spanking, but it was the most memorable because it was so tied in to a spanking I witnessed. It was the first time I consciously saw what I was doing (seeking a spanking) as fulfilling a sexual fantasy.
Today, I am still pretty weirded out by the fact that so many of my sexual fantasies involve my dad. Even though I was also spanked by my mom, pastor and a deacon (both men spanked me bare with a female witness, very common at our church).
I have toyed with the idea of getting a spanking now that I am an adult, but haven't found a safe way to make that happen. Even though I acknowledge that it's a bit strange, I want to fulfill my fantasy of having a "father" spank me and then ********** me.
And this is why I firmly believe parents should NOT spank their kids for punishment. There is no denying that it is sexual, especially if done on the bare bottom.