I Got Caught Naked
soo, i waited a long time to have sex (i know this seems like it's in the wrong place). i didn't start fooling around till 19, and was almost 20 before a girl and i were "ready" at the same time. hahah, she wasn't a virgin, but she was shy, short, and sweet.
i was pretty much the sarcastic cynical clown that i am today (why, or dear god why...would any1 ever **** me?!?!?)
but anyway, we get to "watching a movie" in my dorm (which is international code for college students "second base") and we'd both said we were dtf earlier that day... she wanted to that night. but my roommate was still there.
at this point, ken chimes in (he's not THAT dumb, and we aren't THAT sneaky) that he's leaving tomorrow morning. we take the hint.
morning rolls around, and ken leaves. I have never gone from "sleep" to "I"M SOOO AWAKE" that quickly before, she was offering some "handy" motivation though. i would like to take a moment and explain how akward me having sex with this girl was. she's 5 foot nothing, built small and tight even for her size. she also hand't slept with any1 in a year and a half (trust issues). i'm 5 10 and built... well i'm not trying to lie, i'm not a monster downstairs....but.... but i don't get complaints either ;)
so here is the picture. virginal jonathan trying (with minimal success) to penetrate a more experienced girl who's tighter than a pickle jar. FINALY i get in. and it hurts. it hurts me. alot. she's a vice grip on my ****.
things ... progress, a little fondling, sweet words, kissing... and she loosens up just enough that we can get around to having a good time. i'm still trying to decide if like sex or not (she's still kinda.. tight on me) and in walks my roommate.
no knocking.
no "hey, sorry, i forgot to mention i'd only be gone for like 2 hours"
nope. he walks in, sits on his bed across from mine. and starts playing UFC fight night 2010. i still remember the game. Lyoto Machida (him, roomy)knocks out Rampage Jackson with a left hook in 1min 16 seconds.
it was at this point i began to thing maybe i wouldn't like sex so much (dear god was i wrong)
i was pretty much the sarcastic cynical clown that i am today (why, or dear god why...would any1 ever **** me?!?!?)
but anyway, we get to "watching a movie" in my dorm (which is international code for college students "second ba
at this point, ken chimes in (he's not THAT dumb, and we aren't THAT sneaky) that he's leaving tomorrow morning. we take the hint.
morning rolls around, and ken leaves. I have never gone from "sleep" to "I"M SOOO AWAKE" that quickly before, she was offering some "handy" motivation though. i would like to take a moment and explain how akward me having sex with this girl was. she's 5 foot nothing, built small and tight even for her size. she also hand't slept with any1 in a year and a half (trust issues). i'm 5 10 and built... well i'm not trying to lie, i'm not a monster downstairs....but.... but i don't get complaints either ;)
so here is the picture. virginal jonathan trying (with minimal success) to penetrate a more experienced girl who's tighter than a pickle jar. FINALY i get in. and it hurts. it hurts me. alot. she's a vice grip on my ****.
things ... progress, a little fondling, sweet words, kissing... and she loosens up just enough that we can get around to having a good time. i'm still trying to decide if like sex or not (she's still kinda.. tight on me) and in walks my roommate.
no knocking.
no "hey, sorry, i forgot to mention i'd only be gone for like 2 hours"
nope. he walks in, sits on his bed across from mine. and starts playing UFC fight night 2010. i still remember the game. Lyoto Machida (him, roomy)knocks out Rampage Jackson with a left hook in 1min 16 seconds.
it was at this point i began to thing maybe i wouldn't like sex so much (dear god was i wrong)