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Shamed And Turned On

These stories have reminded me how ashamed and embarrassed I was as a teenage boy when my mother made me sit on her knee bare-bottomed while she put me into nappies (a British word for diapers), but I also remember it as such an erotic experience .  She only did this at bed-time if I'd wet my bed the night before and my bottom was usually still quite sore from being spanked a lot earlier in the day.  The last time she put me into nappies I was 19, almost 20 years old, and it was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.  It was bad enough having this done to me in front of my father and my sister, which was usually the case, but this time at age 19 my mother took my jeans and underpants down and made me sit on her knee while one of her female friends was sitting watching only a few feet away.  I was nappied with a thick folded wooly towel and my mother tied it together with two big safety pins.  I cried uncontrollably from start to finish, but at the same time my arousal was also shamefully obvious, and my mother's friend clearly enjoyed being able to see a teenage boy so aroused in such a state of nakedness, and in such an infantile situation.  She was only ten years older than me and god only knows what she thought of me.    

horu horu 51-55, M 20 Responses Mar 7, 2010

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Cindy,

It was nice to see there is someione else into the "shame" factor when it comes to wearing diapers. I just turned 51 years old in real life and was born in the early 60's. This means like yourself, I was raised in cloth diapers and plastic pants. This meant alot of work for mom as disposables were not widely available at the time nor any good for that matter.

It was a mother's duty to get her kids out of diapers before the age of 2. Part of a mother's method for getting this done was by using shame and humiliation.

I can clearly remember pooping and peeing in my diapers early in the morning and afterwards feeling so naughty because I was a big boy at 2 years old and I knew what my mother was going to say. My mother's shaming and humiliation wasn't meant to be malicious, it was just the method employed by every mother in those times.

I would lay there on the couch and as soon as the plastic pants were removed and the pins were unfastened and the front of my dipaers pulled dow, the shame and humiliation started.

"shame on you stinky pants, only babies go peepee & poopy in diapers, are you a baby?" I can remember my face flushing and turning red from embarrassment as she continued.

"phew, you're such a naughty, stinky little boy!"
"Shame on you Timmy, shame on you".

"You need to start using the potty for poopy and peepee, not your diapers". I remember getting aroused as she wiped my bottom and my privates all the time repeating how I was a stinky little boy who should no longer be in diapers. The more she shamed me, the more aroused (for lack of a better term) I became. To this very day, when I ********** in my diapers, especially when they are wet and stinky, I'll lay there in my bed and chant over and over again "stinky poopy , stinky poopy, stinky poopy", as I ********** to fantasies of my mother or one of my sister's friends shaming me for being such a messy stinky baby in diapers. I still feel like a naughty little diaper boy.

Thanks for your comments, CindyMSugar, I'm sorry it took so long to notice your contribution. I've seen your story Shamed in Diapers and I can assure you it made me so hard in my pants I was sure I was going to completely lose control and shoot my load, I just related so much to your experience.

It is refreshing to hear someone admit to being aroused by being forced into diapers. Most just say they liked being in diapers. You seem also aware that it is the humiliation and shame that somehow got mixed with our sexuality. Reading your account brings back memories of my own discipline. Rather than repeat them here, you can read about my being 'Shamed in Diapers' under CindyMSugar. You might even get a bit excited as I did in recalling it.

i wanna be changed by a mommy figure

I to was and am diapered some times in front of others and it is arousing to me as i think that the shame and submissive ness to being diapered then having baby panties pulled up over my thick night diapers is great for me as it keeps my bed dry plus feels right to me

Thanks to all for their recent comments, but I feel I should once again try to explain my position on all this. Traumatic events CAN cause serious emotional scarring, but only when the memories of those events are shut away / denied / bottled up inside. As I have previously tried to explain, my arousal was caused by my experience of shame and embarrassment (and by my mother's lack of concern for such emotional discomfort on my part) so I can derive very little sexual pleasure from merely acting out the wearing of nappies / diapers. Other forms of humiliation also caused me deep sensations of arousal. This is not an unknown concept. It is indeed a very common psychological response to discomforting events, especially those which are deliberately engineered by others with no care for your feelings. It is called masochism. I tend to use the term "arousal" rather than "pleasure" but it amounts to the same thing. I relive those memories in my mind from time to time because I enjoy that sensation of arousal, which to me is a very different type of arousal than I experience in so-called "normal" sexual intercourse. I do not necessarily want to dedicate the rest of my life to any particular aspect of it.



If people with similar experiences want to spend their lives obsessed with the wearing of infantile coverings, as some who have posted here seem to do, then that is fine by me, whatever turns you on, but from where I'm sitting they seem just as sad as I clearly seem to be in their eyes. From what "Alanis" has written, his mother seems to have raised him as a girl for some sick perverted reason which is hard to comprehend, and being raised in such a manner has clearly affected his own ideas of who or what he is. I find that very sad, but I can understand the need to mask any negative feelings by the proud declaration of his "girliness". Does he carry it on in his life through a love and devotion to his mother? He has clearly not chosen that identity of his own accord. He claims to be happy and feels no shame, and if that is true than I am happy for him, but he has clearly had very different experiences from me, so those attempts at comparison are totally irrelevant.



Caleb, thanks for your comments, which in general I tend to agree with. For answers to the questions you have posed in your final paragraph, please see the comments sections to my experiences in other sections "I Wasn't Too Old At 23" (in "You're Never Too Old For A Spanking") and another in a similar experience section which, unfortunately, at the moment I cannot recall the title of. I'm accident-prone on computers, and I'm sure I would lose what I've written so far if I went back to check, but you should find it if you go to my profile page.

Thanks to all for their recent comments, but I feel I should once again try to explain my position on all this. Traumatic events CAN cause serious emotional scarring, but only when the memories of those events are shut away / denied / bottled up inside. As I have previously tried to explain, my arousal was caused by my experience of shame and embarrassment (and by my mother's lack of concern for such emotional discomfort on my part) so I can derive very little sexual pleasure from merely acting out the wearing of nappies / diapers. Other forms of humiliation also caused me deep sensations of arousal. This is not an unknown concept. It is indeed a very common psychological response to discomforting events, especially those which are deliberately engineered by others with no care for your feelings. It is called masochism. I tend to use the term "arousal" rather than "pleasure" but it amounts to the same thing. I relive those memories in my mind from time to time because I enjoy that sensation of arousal, which to me is a very different type of arousal than I experience in so-called "normal" sexual intercourse. I do not necessarily want to dedicate the rest of my life to any particular aspect of it.



If people with similar experiences want to spend their lives obsessed with the wearing of infantile coverings, as some who have posted here seem to do, then that is fine by me, whatever turns you on, but from where I'm sitting they seem just as sad as I clearly seem to be in their eyes. From what "Alanis" has written, his mother seems to have raised him as a girl for some sick perverted reason which is hard to comprehend, and being raised in such a manner has clearly affected his own ideas of who or what he is. I find that very sad, but I can understand the need to mask any negative feelings by the proud declaration of his "girliness". Does he carry it on in his life through a love and devotion to his mother? He has clearly not chosen that identity of his own accord. He claims to be happy and feels no shame, and if that is true than I am happy for him, but he has clearly had very different experiences from me, so those attempts at comparison are totally irrelevant.



Caleb, thanks for your comments, which in general I tend to agree with. For answers to the questions you have posed in your final paragraph, please see the comments sections to my experiences in other sections "I Wasn't Too Old At 23" (in "You're Never Too Old For A Spanking") and another in a similar experience section which, unfortunately, at the moment I cannot recall the title of. I'm accident-prone on computers, and I'm sure I would lose what I've written so far if I went back to check, but you should find it if you go to my profile page.

Often people who are raped eventually get aroused from the friction. What this man experienced was sexual abuse. The mother who noticed the arousal and continued doing it, did the same thing as raping him. Often people who are raped become sex maniacs as a result wanting to bed down with every person who comes along.



If a father did this to a girl, he would serve prison time and we all know that would have been true back then as well.



Clearly he is still being traumatised by the events. Coming in his pants now reliving this only brings the shame back to him



I noticed he said he wasn't the sad person someone thought he was. That is probably the truth as far as he can see, but the scars are there and can rise to the surface extremely easily.



I am so glad he has been able to be a survivor who hasn't let something in the past destroy his present and is now a happy person.



This clearly isn't a case where a guy got to be changed and be aroused in a state of love and has wonderful memories.



Did your mother ever figure out the damage she did to you and that you really couldn't prevent the wet beds at the time? Or once you were out on your own, you cut off most if not all contact?

do not think we ever flet shame of being diapered at night time it was just aprt of life.

granted it was a 1000 times better after i was removed from my home and went to live with my girl friend and we both owre diapers or training pants at ningt or day tiem



we changed each other during the day time and at school and at workk for both of us

night time was thebest really becazuse we were given out baths with each other then take out and dressed part way then put to bed and given 30 miniutes play time they the would clean us up and diapers us for bed and ready to us from a book think it was just to renforce we were still kids too but we had fun for 7 years

i agree with baby johnnie.



i also grew up being diapered 24/7, and constantly babied by my mom, right on up until i was almost 19 years old. and my mom didn't let anyone watching or being in public, to keep her from making sure that her "baby girl" was comfy in her diapers. so, there were many reasons for me to have felt embarrassed about. but, i was enjoying it all so much, that any embarrassing situations that happened, didn't seem to bother me. in fact, after puberty made it's explosive first *** shot all over my mom's hand and arm, during a diaper changing. i rarely ever felt anykind of embarrassment or shame from then on!



i'm a "seasoned citizen" now, and i've enjoyed being openly diapered 24/7 all of my life. and guess what? i've enjoyed it all, and without any shame or silly inhibitions about what people said or saw.



life is too short, to carry all that excess baggage of shame and embarrassment. enjoy every pleasure you want, while you still can. if you don't, you'll really hate yourself when you get old and regret not having done it.



diapered big and thick 24/7. and loving it!



alice

A great advantage of being an adult is that we can decide what feelings and attitudes we will carry from the past, and which we would rather drop..



Sure, Horu, sitting on your mother's lap then felt embarrassing and shameful.. But now, all these years later, as you relive that experience in your memory, you can drop the shame and keep the pleasure..

after more than 30 years of corressponding and meeting with others. there have been several who have shared similar experiences as yours. so, i can accept that it's not fiction. but only a few mentioned that they did NOT get aroused. most who shared how they were being openly "displayed" in front of friends, especially, lady friends by their mom/dad, while naked, punished, and diaper changed. have shared how the shame and humilliation, was somehow transferred into arousal.



i can only relate to having my diapers checked and changed well into my late teens by my mom, where ever she felt it was necessary. and, regardless of who might have happened to be within view. i was always aroused! and the same arousal happened with most who have shared a similar diapered upbringing.

the only difference, was with what happened when their arousal was seen by their mom or others present. some of those experiences shared, i could tell was fiction.

but, for the others. i could definitely relate to. so, i knew why they were aroused and why, or what happened afterwards, wasn't made up or fiction.



and we all have nothing but fond memories of it all.



alice

I can remember the same of having my diapers changed by my mother till I was almost 26 and yes this done when and where neede no matter who was there or where we where and shame if my father was around if needed changing then I needed a beating bare butted with the belt this was done in mixed company as well as family it was embarrassing enough to be chnaged in front of my brothers and sisters and aunt s and cousins there were many of times i was changed in front my mothers laidy friends the last time i was almost 26 working 2 jobs to try to saave money when between jobs i had to change i knew my father was on vaction and my mother had her ladys over so i hoped to just quitely sneak by and change myself no luck as soon i as came in my mother asked if i was wet and dirty and made unfasten my pants so she could check and when she found that i was wet and dirty she got the stuff to change me right in front of all her friends showed then how she still took my tempature reectaly and then before she rediapered me my father gave me a beating and naked corner time. iwas not aroused in the least little bit but just very ambarrassed by it.this is not made up this real and not fiction

Alice/AlanisAlicetoo, I think we're coming at this from two different angles. I never wore diapers 24/7, it was a punishment I had to undergo every time I wet my bed, which in my late teens was only intermittently, or when I wet my pants which was even more rare at that stage in my life. My mother claimed of course that the main reason she diapered me was one of sheer practicality, i.e. so my bedsheets or underpants would be protected in the event of me doing it again. After wetting the bed (for which the main punishment was always a severe bare-bottom spanking) I was diapered every night at bed-time (a very early bed-time!) for at least a full week and sometimes another full week after that. I was also repeatedly warned that the next time I wet myself I'd be sent off to school, or in my later teens, sent off to work with diapers on under my trousers. That threat never actually became a reality, although I must say the thought of it turned me on and terrified me in equal measure! What turned me on most was the shame and humiliation of having to be diapered by my mother at such an advanced age, and the obvious need for my genitals and bottom to be rendered naked for diapering. I'm not disputing the fact that I learned to love that feeling of wearing a diaper (especially the feel of a hard-on pressing into the fabric and causing a bulge that everyone could see!) but for me it could never feel quite the same if I simply chose to wear diapers out of my own free personal choice. Having said all that, I can see where you're coming from too and I'm happy for anyone who goes around in diapers if that's what turns them on. I really don't feel like the sad person you seem to think I am, but I can see where you got that impression.

All the best to you,

Love, Horu

sounds like you are putting yourself through a lot of un- necessary pain and psychological trauma, by denying yourself from enjoying your diapers 24/7, like you did before. why are you doing that?



alice

For the last few days I've been dementedly obsessed with those memories of how I was nappied or diapered as described in the experience above, being treated like a baby (and behaving accordingly too) at an age when I was well aware that most other guys were enjoying so much freedom and feeling so grown up! Yes, I enjoyed it (in a purely erotic sense) more than anything I've ever experienced since, but it still makes me cringe when I think of how pathetic I must have looked to those few individuals who witnessed my shame. I can't help but feel ashamed when I think about how I used to sob uncontrollably sitting on my mother's soft lap as she put me into nappies, or how I'd bawled and screamed like a two-year-old earlier on the same day when she was mercilessly spanking my bottom for wetting my bed. Yesterday afternoon it just got too much for me, and I came in my underpants sitting on the train home from work as I relived those wonderful memories in my head.

That is so HOT! A diaper boy with a hard on, that turns me on!!!

i know EXACTLY how he felt! well, except for feeling embarrassed. regardless of when or where my mom decided i could go no further without a diaper change. it was always a lot more exciting and sexually satisfying, than caring what anybody thought or saw.



lucky Horu, that he got to enjoy being diapered until he was almost 20. my mom died when i was almost 19. but, then again, i was enjoying being well diapered and changed by my mom 24/7.



and yes, i still enjoy wearing and using my thick sets of cloth diapers 24/7.



alice

Oh, you know he does, 19 and enjoying himself while Mommy diapers him like the little baby he is. Oh man, am I envious : )

But you still like nappies yes?