The Long Story Of Me And John.

Where to begin, where to begin??

Okay, let's start in like... IDK... 1970 something.  **Cue blurry screen and harp music**

Up on Long Island, NY, my father's cousins met John in their neighborhood.  They all started hanging out, as childhood friends.  They remained friends all throughout those kid and teen years.  By the eighties, John was joining my father's cousins on trips down here to stay with my grandparents.  He was almost one of the family.  He was  there when my mom was pregnant with me, even though they were all like 15, but he saw me as a baby.

John finally became one of the family when he married my father's cousin, Donna, one of the ones he'd been   friends with since childhood.  I remember visiting their house in New York when I was eight years old.  They had two little boys, and it was a cute family.  A year later they had a girl.  I saw them again when I was ten, at a family member's wedding.

In early 2004, they moved down here.  I was 14.  I started hanging out at their house every weekend.  I was a part of their family.  Certain family members would say things like, "I think he's got the hots for you."  But, I was fourteen and he WAS married to my cousin, after all.  Not to mention he was in his thirties, isn't that statutory rape or something??

Anyways, Donna started cheating on John.  Most weekends it was he and I at home with their kids while she ran around.  We were very close.  They ended up divorcing.  John lived with some of my family for awhile down here.  I remember the day he got shot.  Everybody was just looking at me, finally my mom said, "I've got something to tell you, John got shot in the leg last night.  I wanted to tell you before you saw it on the news."  I really didn't care, I mean, he wasn't dead.  It wasn't like he was my husband.

Finally, he moved back up north.  The summer of 2007 he brought me up there so I could watch his kids during the day while he worked, because they were staying up there for the summer.  We were living at one of my cousins' house.  He ended up quitting his job, we were home alone together everyday with the kids.  I never looked at him -LIKE THAT- just as someone to have a lot of fun with.  He had a girlfriend, and he always wanted to make her jealous over me.  When he was really drunk, he would rub my legs and stuff, nothing too serious.  Just enough to **** her off.  I thought it was all fun and games.  My cousin confronted us, even, about how much time we spent together.  I still didn't view him in a romantic light. I came home later that year. 

At the end of last year, the text messages started.  He would say, "I want to marry you" and other stuff.  I passed it off as him being drunk.  He drinks a twelve pack a night.  When I told him I was getting married he freaked out, though, even when he wasn't drunk.  He started making up girls to try to make me jealous but I wasn't.  I stopped talking to him awhile.  Then, last month he came down here for a visit.

I went over to my aunt and uncles, and he came over there too.  We hung out for a week.  On the last night we spend together, he got really drunk, got in the couch bed with me, and started rubbing me.  I texted "A" and told him to call me so I could get an escape until John passed out drunk.  I was entirely freaked out.  I couldn't even face him.  The next day I hardly talked to him.  He acted like nothing happened, but I knew he remembered.  He left.  I haven't seen him since.

He left for New York two days ago.  The night before he left, he texted me more romantic ****.  Then, tonight, he was talking to me about his depression, then he just said it, "Do you think we are meant for each other, we understand each other so much."

I can't keep talking to him.  I know he is probably drunk right now -BUT- he is aware of what he is saying because he always remembers what he said the next day.  Like, he could text me right now and say, "I want you to go to the mall with me at 10 in the morning" and would remember to come get me at ten in the morning.

I am not against being with him because of his age either, that honestly doesn't bother me.  He is only like 35.  But, I AM against it because I feel like he is my family!  Not to mention the old ball and chain, JK.  I feel bad because I am his only shoulder to cry on.  But, what am I supposed to do, he is texting my phone off the hook because I won't text back.

BellasHappyPlace BellasHappyPlace
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 8, 2009

he sounds like one to be avoided at all costs, never find yourself alone around him again, safety in numbers