Two Weeks Off SweetsI struggled with my relationship with food my whole life. I watched someone I care about die of heart desease in spite of desperate pleas that he change his eating habits. Watched him ignore doctors orders, wouldn't wear his CPAP, wouldn't read the books I bought him. I am grossly overweight and inspite of all the abuse I have put my body through, it has served me well. I'm proud of it actually. I really should be dead by now. The family on both side had serious health issues and 90 percent of my diet for my first 25 years consisted of fast food & junk food because of no parental involvment. So I had mixed feelings when I decided to forgo sweets altogether. I almost did the lapband thing so I have been on restrictive diets before but they never worked. Dieting always felt like, I was holding my breath. I may be able to stop breathing for a moment but eventually...well, you know.
At times sweets gave me a euphoric feeling, It sometimes felt like my pupils would dialate and I would feel really good...temorarily. Than I would feel like a big fat pig. I'm not sure exactly what lead me to this moment but I decided no more sweets. No more desserts, soda, pancakes, oatmeal, coffee. Nothing I like to make sweet not even sugar substittes. I probably don't qualify for this group because I have made a bargain with myelf. In order to not feel fully deprived until this feels normal, I will allow my self to eat any thing else I want. So I have had white pastas.bread & starches but maybe after a year, I'll try and add another don't to my diet. Oh, and for over a year I have cut down eating out to maybe 5% so heres hoping for the best. :)
I have felt really crumy this last two weeks. I'm not sure if its on an emotional level, i.e. I lost a coping mechanism and have limited access to other outlets or if my body isn't used to me not constantly pumping it with high amounts of sugar constantly.
Any way, just rambling but that's my journey thus far. Good luck on yours.
tosca119 31-35, F 6 Responses 0 Jul 12, 2010