What Happened to "That Guy"

I was married as was my Nar ex... We had an affair and ended up leaving our spouses and moving in together a year ago...WE had been friends first for about 5 years and he had a terrible reputation. He cheated on his wife of 10 years, quite openly, never took resp for anything, lied, was arrogant, self absorbed and felt that he was better than everyone else. Your next question? Why the hell did i get involved with him? Well, he was very charming, very witty, and our overall sense of humor was the same. It started innocently with the text messages but within a few months we were sleeping togehter and making plans to leave our spouses and move in togehter. WE did...  This guy was so perfect, he was so complimentary it made me uncomfortable at first, but we had a good foundation b/c we had known each other and been friends for years.  I feel in love, and fell hard, as i THOUGHT he did as well.. We were going to be together. He told me everything i wanted to hear, he was supportive, attentive, everything i truly could have asked for. This combined with our "good friend" foundation and good sx life, made him perfect in my eyes. We moved in togehter and spent last summer living the high life. WE were on his boat every w/e, i was laid off of work, so I traveled with him one week for work to Texas and Chicago. Another w/e we went to Calif, then NYC. We were attached at the hip, and were so in love.  We had so much communication day to day my therapist has since told me it was unhealthy to speak with someone that much. Mind you, most of it was him. He told me he loved me every day, as did I, it was like nothing else i had ever expereienced...but we were both still married. I was honest with my family and husband which was hard, but i told them the truth, he however did not.  His wife did not know i was living there, he lied to her, lied to his parents, as well as his ex in laws. He had no sense of reality or no sense of taking resp for what we were doing. It was drama after drama with his wife, b/c he did not want her to find out about me.  This went on for about 7 months. He told me eveything.. "i didn't have to go back to work if i didn't want to", "you know i'll never have sx with anyone else", "you know we'll be able to afford a beauitful house someday when this is all behind us"... We picked out the apt together, the furniture, eveything was us, us, us... It was a whirlwind.. i'd never been so happy.  Suddenly he started to pull away, w/o any communication. His sister came to visit and when she left he never gave me back the key to the apt (i had moved out a month earlier, only a street over since his mom was not happy about the arrangement and was coming to visit, but i still "lived" there per say).. he did not want me to stay over there anymore, he needed "space" so i started sleeping at my apt, which i was never at and got depressed. He was still not commuincating to me at all.. I was deteriorating before his eyes, not eating, not sleeping, it was horrible. He knew it, but still said nothing. I finally filed for div which I believe pushed him away further, then we had the convo that ended it.  We had gone from 100 mph to 25 mph over night and did not know where my life had gone. The funny part? He didn't give a sht about me, my feelings, or anything, it was all about him, his problems, his issues, his wife, blah, blah.... I guess he did not need me anymore although i was there for him, he was not there for me, even in my darkest darkest times.  It has been 5 months and i finally have had no contact with him for a month solid now. I changed my phone number at the beginning of the break up, when he got in touch wtih me and asked why? I told him i was so upset, i had to.. he responded.."oh, that explains that weird message" never addressed how distraught i was that i had to do that.. I told him not to contact me, he still did. I an emotional wreck!!!!!.. He went from jeckyll to hyde.  I could not get passed wanting "that guy" back.. who was that guy? He never existed.. my guy was a phony and used me for whatever reason, til he was done.  I have read many books on narcissistic men, and he has about 80% of the qualities. They say these are the hardest relationships to get passed and it truly, truly was. The biggest hurdle of my life.  I did divorce my husband, all the while my ex never inquired as to how i was doing, wishing me luck with court or anything.. as self-centered as i have ever ever seen in my life. I am still struggling a little.. I seem to get jealous when i think of him with other women, but why?  they are not getting the relationship that i want.. no one is, he is not capable. All the while, he is still just seperated from him wife of 10 years.. I have never had such a hard time looking for answers on how someone could be so different overnight.  I felt foolish, deceived and dumb, but have finally stopped trying to explain his behavior and am trying to run as far away from it as I can. It's evil, he is evil.  I have his number blocked from my phone, no texts in or out, and both my emails blocked.  If i let him, he would keep texting me to keep me hanging so he can have the best of both worlds, his freedom, and me... again, selfish...

shorter version, but you get the pix..i truly have never been so hurt, so confused and so consumed by a break up and i have concluded ti's bc he is a true narcissist.