A Goal, But Very Far From Sight.

Run...fast. j/k

But seriously, this person is living their life with so much negativity that it is even affecting those around him. He sounds pretty dangerous, and honestly, I don't think you want to risk your life or anyone else's for this person. It's a tricky situation and not one you can take lightly. Find a way to get yourself out and fast.

i am running fast, i moved 4 hours away from him to pursue my dream college (that's also costing me $100,000 by the end of it... but ANYWAYS, that's not the point) Him being iiiiiinsane, you know.... and a narc, does NOT help the situation at all... gah, but thank you for replying back. :)

Hello LG11
Your Strength really inspires me =)
I am in the same situation I and have finally left a Narcissist of 2years.....
My story is we had so much drama that I nearly got evicted from my apartment well yes I did get a wriiten warning (so wasnt worth it) THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW.. I realised It was 'all about him' after finally wisening up and trusting my own opinions for a 21 year old. To continue my story I was sure of our drama that had occurred would be reported and unfortunately that would be IT for me & my career I planned for November......I couldn't sleep that night after the narcissist left.. .simply dredding my next phone call would be my building manager. I found myself to be oh so very lucky, the disturbance was notified but the (usually strict) building manager said to me this "I wont tell your landlord, I think your a very good person and you either hav to break up with that guy or find somewhere else to stay but you wont be getting evicted" praise the lord was my feeling after that but I knew I had to do something about the narcissist and stick to it...
My scheme from this news was I told my Narcissist that I face another complaint (my last) and I have to move!!! He believed me of course....
It unfortunately does not end here,
That was well err my greatest chance to leave him for good but he started breaking down when he rang my home line he said he was gonna kill himself because he said he'll never let this happen to me....(yeah right neva see's HIM) anyway I started freakingOut got me worried and all...
I had to tell him that I begged my landlord to give me another chance. We have been trying to work it out since this episode but the verbal abuse and mind games got even worse I realised that some people cannot change no matter the promises given.
I am studying in business school soon and I knew I couldn't make it being with the Narcissist.
(Fear is the enemy no one deserves a narcissist's treatment not 1 bit, Strength is what we have to hold on to before it gets stolen from us).

LG11 -I think you are very strong person, great idea to move far away good for you I wish you Good luck god bless.

Sam NZ

it's interesting that i inspire you, because you inspire me sam nz. i would like to talk further with you about how your trials and tribulation panned out through out the course of your relationship... i am young and leaving the narc would be the biggest step of my life, even bigger than me moving 3-5 hours away from him... i constantly battle him and my social life. i have lost many friends to the fact that every time i am around them the narc becomes jelous because i am not with him and creates a fight. it is as though he cannot realize that there is more to life then me (as his feeding energy, which is sucking the life outta me), and himself...

please let us talk further. no one understands the narcissist's state of mind because they have never seen it, or been through it. i feel like i'm the only one who sees it, other than my mother, but mothers will always protect their child when they see pain.

i hate how the narc forces answers out of me, and if he doesnt get the answer that he's envisioned in his "perfect world" than i am instantly shunned and my self-worth tried to knock down... he does not know the person i am, though after almost 4 years he sure as hell thinks that he does... i feel as though i am trapped and cannot escape.

i know that leaving the narc, is my way of "growing up", because this situation is not leaving... I must make it leave... and that is hard. :X

Thankyou So much LG11
(I am in need of help and advice I hav to stop believing that I hav good judgement already I know I do but I tend to fail and the abusive relationship circle repeats itself).
I totally agree with you where your friends are driven away for reasons of jealousy.... for me it was this and the matter where he would say that he's only protecting me..he was only judging them all I believed him and made his opinions mine! God I was so gullable I lost all my friends in the first couple of months since i met this guy, I actually haven't had any friends since there was no time all my spare time was pleasing him and trying to meet up to his expectations, I am the type of person to deal with my emotions on my own but its just gotten so frustrating and talking about where our energy gets sucked out of us its very true narcissists have such high expectations and emotional dependancy that It didn't matter where they are or what your doing he puts you on the spot.
I had so much trouble working as a receptionist in 2007, that it came to the point where I was feeling great one morning - the relationship was stable after a solved misunderstanding the previous day then suddenly at my computer desk the narcst decided to give me the same sh** for No reason he began verbally abusing me thru phone text then rang my work's DDI number and started arguing with me I tried to control my anger for his pathetic inappropriate words that I just couldn't handle myself over the phone this was hard, my work place got the hang of my temper rising i would hang up the phone and it'll ring back ?? "at my work place" this is not right he wouldnt stop calling..
My feelings that came from this was my day and mood would instantly change I began feeling low, frustrated and no matter how much I tried to cheer myself up I couldn't It came to me waiting for my lunch break after crying in the toilets of my work (which no1 could hear me there) to sitting in my car on the phone shouting and crying trying to sort out his issue AGAIN.
That time in my life I was believed that I was to blame for everything thats how he got me fooled but now to this day and all the unnecessary events that have taken place I have realised that it was the other way around, I do have to say that I needed help with knowing myself when I met him as I hadn't been brought up with principles and I moved out young on my own but its funny how you make the effort to change not just because you wanted to change for him but for yourself and in the end reality comes to show you that he is the one with mad deep issues i.e anger, insecurites, unfairness...
Do you know what I mean here?
My mother totally hates my narc too I find it hard to leave because we have such a great bond as much as saying the same thing at the same time and finishing eachother's sentences, I thought I met the right one but we have such a communication difficulty that its suffocating....
Have you ever had it where you seriously sit down with the man and deeply talk about what bothers you and you even talk to him on his issues that you see so clearly that his only response is he seems to not care, badly interrupts you and he just turns everything around on you like this is a conversational battle???When your only trying to help and spell it out to him???
It drives me mad to the point of his interruptions and poor answers that he gets me forgetting what I was going to say there's nothing worser not having your emotional needs met.

My advice would be this and only this in helping you & I leave for the better: "Always listen to your Instincts, they are the best part of you its your self guidance. In hard and fearsome times when your gut is warning you things like you don't need this in your life, he doesn't deserve your energy It is wise to try to act upon our instincts".
I know that when I haven't done anything about my self warnings and stay with him......my happiness is only temporary and I get hurt then feel like like a fool as if im living a lie.

LG11 Please tell me why you cannot leave your narc man and I will try to help.

SamNZ, i am out of the relationship!! Thank you! :)