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My Cousin Raped Me

Just for some pretty important background, I'm a guy, not a girl.

My cousin Zane raped me when I was 13 and he was 12. He was younger than me, but he was stronger. His family lived out of town, so they'd stay with relatives when they flew in for family events. One time, they stayed with us, and Zane slept in my room.

I was uncomfortable changing in front of him, but the bathroom was occupied so I had to get into my pajamas in my room. I remember he watched me change and he made a joke about my penis. I don't remember exactly how it went, but he used the word schlong, which I'd never heard. When I asked him what it meant, he said "I have a schlong, you have a schlort. He also pointed out that he was more of a man than I was because he slept in just his boxer shorts. I don't remember whether he was referring to the fact that I wore pajamas or the fact that I wore briefs.

Anyway, I tried to defend myself against that accusation, and he told me there was one way to prove my manhood. I don't know why I trusted him, and I feel really stupid about this in retrospect, but he told me to take off my clothes and lie on my back on the bed. I was so embarrassed to be naked in front of him, but I did it anyway. Then he lifted up my legs, spread them, and raped me. I don't remember noticing that he had exposed himself or that he had an erection until he had already started. I like to think I tried to resist and he was too strong, but I just remember lying there and taking it.

He he only ever did it the one time, and neither of us ever specifically mention it, but sometimes he makes comments about my relative manhood and I know he's trying to remind me.

I never knew for certain, but I think he might have told my younger sister about it, because she sometimes made weird manhood comments too. But I can never ask her if she knows or if she's just being a brat because I can never bring myself to mention it.
icnivad icnivad 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 8, 2011

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OMG you poor guy. I am a boy who was raped by my elder cousin when I was ten. I had to share a bed with him and was a bedwetter. When we woke up soaked (I didn't realize at first BOTH sides of the bed were soaked) He "punished" me by getting me up on my knees pulling down my wet briefs and sticking his erection into my butt. There was no one to stop him. I have been traumatized my whole life. My life literally ended that morning. I don't know if I'm gay or straight. I haven't been able to maintain any relationship ever since. I faint at the idea of needing a rectal exam. I'm squeezing my "cheeks" together just thinking about the pain. I want to hurt him.<br />
I wish I had seen your post sooner. Its been 9 months since you posted this. We could get even. Please contact me.