I Was Raped By My CousinI was 13 and he was 18 and he was staying at our house one summer while visiting from New York. I was very vulnerable at the time, having just finished my first year in secondary school where I had been split up from my friends, bullied constantly and didn't exactly receive the greatest of grades. I had also been diagnosed with depression. I was completely alone as all of my friends had their "new" friends hence, in a way, I was innocently flattered by his attention. Up until this point I had never even kissed a boy let alone even contemplated having sex and felt very immature, which he preyed on telling me that I need to know about these things so I won't be bullied and left out at school. He told me that he would show me how to kiss properly, so I wouldn't be scared and know what to say to boys. However after a few days he wanted more and began to try and touch me. I refused but one day my mother left us alone and he intimidated me into having sex.
We had sex several times always at his behest, when he was bored or felt that my parents could come back and catch us (which amused him immensely). I just felt so guilty and violated.
Here's where it gets a bit complicated my cousin had been diagnosed with what is called anti social personality disorder or sociopathy. My parents knew this and still him be alone with someone who was easy to manipulate.
After he left I felt sick and really upset and swore I wouldn't let him do it again. Then when I was 18 my parents and I went to stay at his brothers apartment who was away in Chile. I was completely shocked when I then discovered he was staying there too and even worse I was told I had to share a room with him. He made it explicitly clear that he wanted us to "pick up where we left off". I took my mum to one side and didn't tell her exactly but made it pretty bloody clear something was very wrong and how scared I was of him but she got irritated and told me to stay in the same room and told me I couldn't sleep on the couch because it was rude. Even when I tried to leave the room and sleep on the couch my father roared at me to go back into bed. This time my cousin pretty much forced me to have sex with him through the fear of telling my parents. I just relented as I was quite scared of my dad and him.
My cousin has recently been committed because of his condition and I recently heard my parents going on about how he was such a nice boy and so kind to me. I have kept this a secret all this time. What makes me angry is primarily that my parents had two chances to stop it happening but let me down. Wish I could tell them but I just can't as I'm now in my late twenties it seems pointless.
hironono10 26-30 15 Responses 2 Feb 11, 2011