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And I Didn't Even Do It On Purpose...

I was in a sexless marriage, and decided to get out of it. We agreed on divorce. He wouldn't leave. (see..He's still on the couch) I couldn't even stand being in the same room with him. For my own sanity, I left. Got an apartment. We had a condo, but I paid the mortgage. Of course, I wasn't going to pay rent AND the mortgage. Of course, he wasn't going to be able to pay mortgage. We did a short sale. The bank almost didn't agree, because he had 10 thousand in the bank. (While I had nothing....mostly supporting him and all). Anyway, they wouldn't close unless he gave them the 10 thousand. Which he eventually did. What goes around comes around.
ssuz545 ssuz545 51-55, F 4 Responses Dec 6, 2010

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You're right. I have been dating since my marriage ended, and every guy so far, tells me they are too busy for a relationship. Do they tell me before ? Nope, course not. I suppose the subject should come up first, but then it seems too forward, like I'd be chasing them away right from the get-go..before even seeing <br />
whats gonna happen. This nice older man I've been seeing now, just told me that it seems I want <br />
a lot of attention from a man. Ect. Ect. Just wondering, why I always seem to lately pick men whom <br />
aren't available in one way or another. Like I have to MAKE them available. oh well, thanks S

Hey Ssuz,<br />
Try something different, history has a way of repeating itself. if nothing changes, nothing changes. Good luck!

Thank you for your thoughts. They are well taken, but hard to do. I have been divorced now a little over a year now,,,,,and have been searching for that man..when, I guess I should be searching for myself first. I have been in two emotionally abusive marriages, and both were somewhat nice to me from the start. I don't remember the first, but my second husband bought me flowers, (which no one ever did before), so I married him. !!! I've just been out with a seemingly nice man a couple of times, and yesterday....he bought me some very expensive perfume. When I told my son, he said, "Mom, be careful." I like the man, but he is moving kinda fast, and I'm tryin to go slower this time, so not to let myself get hurt again.

Hey Ssuz!<br />
I am sorry for how you are feelin! I believe everything happens for a reason and speaking from experience, we can't attract good, solid, loving partners if we are not well within ourselves. It sounds like this has become a pattern for you and maybe it is time to take a really good look at what is going on with yourself. I am in that process right now and I am taking a time out from the thought of getting hooked up with anyone right now. I have made wrong choices for myself too many times in this life of mine. I have been on my own now from a very abusive marriage for almost five years. I thought I was ready to start dating and being in a relationship and all that stuff, but apparently I had some more work to do. I didn't learn from my history and was repeating old mistakes. I got into a relationship with someone I didn't take the time to know well enough and still not having a good sense of myself and not having a healthy enough self esteem, it was painful and a huge eye opener for me. For now, I will continue to work on myself, do things that I enjoy to do and hopefully make some new friends. I would rather be on my own, than be in another unhealthy relationship and if is meant to be it will. Someone else can't make our lives right for us, we have to get right with ourselves. If we choose someone who is not good for us, it can only screw us up even more. Just some thoughts from someone who might know something about this! Life goes on, you are stronger than you think you are. Good Luck!!