My Brand of Revenge...

I just left a sexless marriage. My husband refused me sex for years, and what efforts he did make were just completely lame.

He is nothing if not unprepared, and he loves to procrastinate. When he starts dating again, I'm sure he will be relying on that stash of condoms that have been in his drawer for forever.

As I was packing my things to leave him, I checked the nightstand and saw the stash. I figured that the condoms must be expired by now and I was going to throw them out so that we could avoid the unpleasant circumstance of having him use an expired condom and knock up some random unsuspecting girl. Come to find out, they were still good for a while.

BUT...I threw them out anyway. Every damn one.

He's logical enough to stop if he has NO protection available, so this little surprise should put a nice damper on his sex life for at least one night.

Then he can see what it felt like to be me for 2300 days...


serenityprayer serenityprayer
31-35, F
17 Responses Sep 4, 2009

Well, at least you didn't degrade yourself by screwing strangers to "get back at him", which is something I've never understood. How does degrading yourself get back at someone?? He's a loser, your going to end up fine..

Whatever happened to the turn the other cheek theory or forgive and forget,cause in the end revenge just leaves an empty not enough feeling.

It seems completely unfathomable to me that a man would leave his wife sexually frustrated for 2300 days. Personally, I have never turned down sex, after I have fallen in love. I plan on always doing my best to make sure my future wife gets an ******, whether by hand, or mouth, or making love.<br />
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I am sorry your husband was so cruel to you.

are you KIDDING ME?????<br />
2300 days without sex? why the hell did he even marry you? i dont get it ?

Honey, I wish you the best....I too was in a sexless marriage.....and decided to get out. In the long run, that is the best revenge if you want to call it that. Sooner, or later, he'll realize what he missed.

Oh...the irony...<br />
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3 months after I left, my "X" ended up getting a random girl (ie, he had known her a week) pregnant with twins. They were born last month. And yes, they all live together and play house, although our divorce is not even finalized yet.<br />
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I would be KICKING myself if I thought that lack of condoms in the house had led to this situation. But the truth, which I will SO GENEROUSLY share here, is that he can barely keep it up when he uses a condom. So, he had bought replacements but chose to take his chances to avoid embarrassment. <br />
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Some days it bothers me, and some days I just want to get some popcorn.

Personally, I'd have left the condoms in the drawer...... but made a few holes in them before doing so!

If you meant my comment when you say 'The implication.....', that is not true. I was not intending to imply that there was anything wrong with you, far from it, you sound as though you have been incredibly patient and understanding. All I meant was that we don't understand why he is terrified of women, I certainly wasn't implying that you were the cause of that, sorry if I did not express it very well.<br />
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However, I do hope that you can find closure over this and move on to better things, I wish you all the best.

Ah, thanks Arinna! Yes, it's true, there is a 'reason' behind almost everything, and so what? <br />
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The implication, I think, was that I am ugly or mean or just bad in bed, but I am none of those things. The fact that my husband prefers **** and ************ to the intimacy of sex is not my problem, and I will no longer pick it up and wear it as though it is. I tried to save him from it for several years...too long...and now I am busy saving myself. <br />
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When he himself watches _The 40 Year-Old Virgin_ and says that it describes him perfectly, there is your first clue. Except that part at the end, when she 'does' him and he is let in to the world of sexual intimacy...that didn't happen for my husband. He had a few sexual encounters, and then married me and I worked at showing him the ropes, and he continued to be just as nervous and distant as ever. <br />
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Oh well. Not my problem any more.

Theres a reason for all behaviours.<br />
But no reason to stay miserable.<br />
Good for you!

There was a reason for his behavior. It is too complicated to explain here. Read some stories in the sexless marriage forum and that will give you a glimpse.

It's unfortunate that we don't know the other side of the story, although I think there is a clue in your remark that he 'is terriified of women'. I am not blaming you at all, but obviously there was a reason for his behaviour, now we shall never know....

Ayankee-- It probably depends how well he knows her. He will be pretty sure that there is some birth control involved, because he is paying me a lot of child support and I don't think he wants to double that expense. And no, there is no way in hell he was sleeping with someone else. He is terrified of women. I would sooner believe he was latently gay.<br />
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Upahead--Thanks for your honesty there, LOL. I don't agree that long term relationships necessarily grow stale. I think the onion has so many la<x>yers that you can spend your whole life deliciously unwrapping someone. When's the last time you told her exactly what you wanted to do to her? If you are authentically you, and she responds in a way that is authentically her, and you love each other, that is pretty hot. Don't just stay at la<x>yers 1-3 forever...

hey. i had a friend who worked for sometime for her psychologist professor who later ended up being his "mistress".. he was married with children.. and when i asked her about it she said that he felt he could not do certain things with his wife so he does them with women outside of the marriage.. he liked the kind of objectifying **** type sex and . it was rough.. for some reason my friend event sent me a pic of her err scarred eye from being hit or whatever.. so maybe you should look into this?

GeeZzz I'm just like your ex. I wondered what the problem was, because my GF is really hot. For me, when the novelty of sex wears off (this happens after sleeping with the same person for years) the thrill is gone. And when the thrill is gone its like putting in work. <br />
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Anyways I think guys like me and your ex are a couple of douchebags. But I sincerely do think the problem lies in LONG RELATIONSHIPS! I think people, men and women, are meant to drive different cars every few years. <br />
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I hope this helps!<br />
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Don't bet on it.He may have been having sex with someone else and that's why he wasn't having sex with you.Besides,he probably has condoms you don't know about.You can pretty much get condoms anywhere and there is such a thing as birth control that his partner could be using.I wouldn't put anything past most men.

Thanks Bric, I appreciate it.

haha. that's a good one. symbolic too.