I Got Sick, And Now My Husband Hates My Body.

So during my 3rd pregnancy I got Myasthenia Gravis. It's a Neuromuscular condition, that basically makes my muscles very weak. I also take prednisone to help the weakness. About two months ago, I started to feel better, and became very attracted to my husband, and I was feeling quite sexy and desirable. Well, my husband started pulling away from me...which of course made me try harder. I simply thought he was bored. I am the type to poke and prod and all out torture to find out the truth. What I learned shook my whole soul. I found out that my husband thought I had gotten fat, and he doesn't like my stomach. Unfortunately for me...I can't excersize because of my condition, and the prednisone, not only makes me gain weight. but puts it in the worst possible place. My stomach and my face. My problem isn't really that he thought those things about me, but that he said he was over it, and realized I can't do anything about it, but it's obvious to me that it's still a problem for him. I have practically begged him to help me feel better about the situation....I even called my dad to leave for a while, and he talked to my husband. He even told my husband what to say and how to make me feel better. My husband said he cant. He can't say things to make me feel better, because he doesn't want to lie. I am falling apart. I don't know how to recover from this. I love him desperately, and he has stepped up so much to help me deal with my illness. So leaving is not an option. But what am I supposed to do, knowing that he hates my body, and there isn't much I can do about it? Of course it hurts that he felt that way at all, but I can understand thqt you can't control your feeling, or the thoughts that pop into your head. But now I'm being left with all these insecurities and emotions, and he has done everything but all out refuse to tell my I'm sexy. Help!

sugrkiss sugrkiss
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 7, 2010

I am having the same problem. I was hit with some kind of neuro-muscular disorder back in 2003. It has been a long 7 years. <br />
My husband resents the fact that my body does things I cannot control and I have even found comments he made to someone in regards to me being "in bed dieing again". <br />
I don't know how to make him see me in a different light. The medicine I am on has made me gain weight and I hate it. I am going off of the medicine now to try and reverse this.<br />
We have been married 20 years and I keep remembering him telling me that if I get fat, he's outta here and when I turn 40, he'll trade me in for two 20's. <br />
Recently, I have discovered him browsing online for young, sexy women and adding friends to his FaceBook that are half my age. <br />
It is really disheartening even though I am extremely sexual and can do all night what it takes a younger woman all night to do. <br />
Amazingly, in the middle of all this, he has had numerous strokes and recovered well, but not completely, yet, still harbors feelings towards me when he was literally laying in bed for two years recovering. I busted my *** helping him survive and be able to walk on his own again.<br />
I don't understand how he has been in my shoes and still feels this way????<br />
<br />
I have decided to be me, be happy being me and be the sexual person I love being. If he doesn't want this full package....that's fine with me. I love me, my kids love me and even though I will never leave my family, if he chooses to, that's fine with me, too. If he doesn't want to be sexual with me, okay. I have enough toys and imagination to take care of it myself while he lays there and gets the nothing he wanted. <br />
<br />
We are deserving of loving ourselves completely and we are deserving of happiness. Finding that within ourselves is better than trying to find it in someone else. <br />
<br />
I will live with my condition, I will accept my condition and I will gladly pay the price for enjoying life, even when it puts me in bed for a few days! That one day of great sex, going out with my kids and enjoying life is worth the boring days in bed! I would rather have to pay the price of abusing my body than pay the price of missing out on life.