My Story Of Abuse

I was physically and mentally abused until I left home at 18 years old. I walked on egg shells whenever my alcoholic father was around. I went to allateen to learn how to cope with the abuse and he found the pamplets and beat me for that. He used a belt (sometimes with the buckle used) and left bruises and cuts on my back and bottom. When I got older, people started noticing the bruises so he would pull me by the hair and hit my head against the wall. My mother never did anything other than to tell him not to leave marks. When we went to visit, we (my brother and sister also) were expected to sit in a chair, no matter how long we stayed, and not allowed to move. My father never beat my brother or sister. When I went to counseling the therapist told me that one child in the family, usually the eldest, is the one that is abused. I got used to the beatings, but never the emotional abuse. I had no self esteem. My father is 90 now and never talks about any of this, He tells me that the way he was when he was drunk (he has stopped drinking now) makes him regret that part of his life. One night when I thought he was going to kill me, I ran to my best friends home and told her and her grandmother. The grandmother told my friend that she couldn't be involved. That was the last time I sought help and was so ashamed of the abuse. Since my father told me it was my fault, I believed him. I have forgiven my father, with Gods help, but I will never forget. Please help any child that you even suspicion is abused. Mental abuse always goes with physical when it is very cruel. Children in winter clothing in the summer should raise a red flag. I lived through this and as a nurse, I usually can spot a child that is bring abused by their facial expressions and body language.   I am so glad that now there are hot lines and places for abused children to get help. Thank you for reading my childhood experience.
Sunnie3698 Sunnie3698
61-65, F
1 Response May 18, 2012

Ahh, and did help become easy to find? I would have thought that if the parent just uses his open hand then no child is going to get any help yet from any police or courts around here is he?