Always Spanked In Love

My dad was very abusive. He died when I was young, and I have tried not to think about that, even though an occasional flashback nightmare has occurred. My mom on the other hand was very loving. She never spanked hard, and I don't remember her ever spanking us bare bottom. And I was a really good little girl, so she never had to spank me or my little sister often. However, when she had to, she knew just how to pop her wrist each time she had to spank our bottom to produce a sting after each hit. When the sting would start to fade, she would pop us again. I remember one time in particular that I was about 7 and my sister was around 4 years old. Old enough to know better. My mom allowed us to set up a tent in the backyard. And like many little girls, we got a hold of a pair of scissors and tried to cut one another's hair. I remember saying "mommy will never notice," but when we were done, well, lets just say she me being the oldest, I always got spanked first. Mom made us come out of the tent and come inside. It was time to go over her knee and I knew what was coming. I knew she was disappointed, and with me being "mommy's little girl," that was the worst part for me. I knew what I did was wrong and I was genuinely sorry, and not just because I got caught. Then it started. By the third spank on the bottom, I am in tears. And she spanked me about 20 times. Then I stood there crying as my sister had her turn. After that, I was allowed a little time to just love my mom and tell her I was sorry as she just held me and hugged me. It was her way of showing us yes, there are consequences when I did wrong but that all was forgiven and I was still loved. Being raised in a Christian home, I was shown that that is the way God's love is. There may be consequences when we do wrong, but nothing I could ever do would make me unloved by God. My mom died when I was 12 years old with a brain tumor. I was around 10 the last time I was spanked. But even though I was spanked and didn't like it at the time, I knew I was always spanked in a consequence, I don't ever remember being angry after my spankings like some children are. My mom was very consistent, though. If she said "if you do this, I will spank you," there were no second chances. It helped me because it gave me boundries and gave me somewhat control. I think that is another reason why I never really got spanked much because I knew my mom meant what she said. I am a preschool teacher and run my classroom the same way. While we obviously don't spank children in the classrooms, I don't make empty threats. If I say you have "one more chance," the children know that consequences will follow if the children do it second chances. The children enjoy the freedom to have a sense of control. I said that to say consistency is the key. Set boundries. Whether you choose to spank, time out, whatever, you choose, children behave a lot better when there is consistency and stability.
Evangelgirl Evangelgirl
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 14, 2012

Great story your mom sounds like a great woman

Wow, you lost both parents by the time you were 12. So tragic. I too lost mine in a car accident when I was 3 years and was raised in an orphanage. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like growing up in a household environment.

I am sorry to hear about your parents. I see how you would wonder what it would have been like. Orphanages are a blessing, but you don't get the one on one time children desire and they cause you to grow up fast. I can't imagine having been sent to an orphanage that young in life, though.