And I'm Grateful

I believe in spanking children as a form of discipline.

I got spanked as a child, and I am grateful for it- I learned my lesson every time. There is a difference between spanking and abuse, and parents today need to realize that. Too many children are not learning about consequences because they aren't being spanked. I'm sorry, but taking away privileges and time-outs just don't always cut it.

SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
36-40, F
145 Responses Dec 5, 2009

Well said ,,,

I've wrote a story here about my childhood.My parents way over did the spankings.
However,I think there comes a time when it is called for. Even though I never spanked My own. Never spank Your child in anger.Always make sure they understand just why. So many times as a kid,I found my self suddenly getting spanked or slapped or hit for something I may have done days before.

Texan, I agree with you.

The Lord in Heaven, prescribes spankings in His Word. I and many others,
obeys His commands.
Spankings work, but it must be separated from violence. Spankings are done with love and nobody will end up violent. Its those who does know how to take responsibility for their actions that becomes criminals.

Poor Andy,
I'll pray for you. May the Lord have mercy on our soul!

You don't belive in the same faith as me WHICH MEANS IT'S PERFECTLY TO HAVE THE TOUGH GUY ACT AND START VIOLENCE BECAUSE THIS PERSON DOESN'T BELIVE IN THE SAME THING AS ME EVEN WHEN MY FAITH TEACHES TO LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AND LIVE AND LET LIVE AND TO ALWAYS FORGIVE, WHY, BECAUSE I CHOSE A JOB WHERE I BEAT UP PEOPLE FOR A LIVING AND OVERLOOK STRIPPERS AND LAP DANCES, ONE OF THE WORST SINS YOU CAN DO IN MY RELIGION. You forgot the last bit a verse "but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes". You like to forget about that little pat, don't you? Also, news flash, the bible is stories. It was made to think of something as complex as god and heaven into simple stories so you can understand the teachings even if you were a peasant you couldn't read or write, you would understand. the bible was not made into a life helper. and you made fun of the relgion of my friend but you belive the same thing.

Yes....perhaps.but i dont think The bible condones it as a seems to be Your case.

I agree, Billcle. His language confirms it.

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sorry to disagree, I respect you, but I don't think violence is the answer

and turn them out to be bullies, they learn violence is the answer. my daughter turned out fine

violence begets violence

Id never use a belt.I still feel the sting and the humiliation at 52 yrs old.

You have no idea of the word love means. Love means gentle spankings in the way they were intended for. If it becomes abusive and violent then that parent is wrong and they need to be punished by having their kids taken away from them forever.

how is beating a kid non violent?

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I can't believe we're all on here seriously arguing whether or not you should hit a child. This is SO sad and a should-be-outdated issue.

sometimes it depends on child,however I found the threat worked,but you must be prepared to carry out if required.

Hand is fine but a tool such as slipper,cane or belt on a child is ABUSE.


true couldn't agree more well said

well said the laws now preventing the spanking of a child has caused more problems in ante social behavior with kids they dont know better and and if they do some thing wrong then so what what can the parents do but they get the blame let them spank the kids when they need it

I agree. Every circumstance is different. Time out etc. may work with some children, and other punishments may also. But repeated, persistent disobedience must have consequences. A good spanking can have lasting effect. I don't favor abuse, but a good seat warming, and promise of more can be good discipline. Its important tp find out what works for your children. Many older adults learned this early, and it did not hurt them in later life.

I agree pappap. Horses for courses.

Thanks, KatCode.

U have our vote
There is a time and place for removal of privileges etc... but also a time when NO has to mean NO and be backed up.... There are no lessons in a hard life now... expectation and greed abounds... Life can be tough and a lot of kids now expect anything and everything and tantrums etc if they dont get what they want.
I pushed things as a kid and hit that end-stop a few times - parents and school knew when the pushing was over and the re-educating lesson began

I never really learned from them till I was older because I just keep doing what I did before. My dad put my into military school now that's a life lesson learned! Now somedays I wish the spankings were back! Haha

I totally agree
How right you are
And loving parents should have the ability to spank their children without feeling that it is anything other than a loving form of discipline

Too many people out there who think they know best how to raise other parents children

I know the government doesn\'t think people should spank their kids either. Why don\'t you take it up with them.

I'm glad to this day. It kept me from getting a police record. I deserve all of them.

There is a difference between punishment and violence. Punishment is to inflict a penalty. Violence is an unjust exertion of power or force. In contrast punishment can vary in degrees yet warranted. Whether someone develops into a habitué in relation to punishment is entirely onto their persons. Violence would be excessive punishment for petty violations of regulation demands; although, the actions of those placed in authoritative positions on us do not have to define our character.

I'm sorry to hear about you and your cousin's nasty experiences. It sounds to me if you were abused. A spanking is only 1 form of correction and should fit the transgression.

Thanks for you excellent explanation. Me, not being English-speaking, cannot describe it so perfect!

KatCode, what a wonderful testimony for your mum.
I understand your thinking / feelings on spanking. There are different means of correction.

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Sounds like you were well raised with the necessary love, care and concern. :)

well said i was spanked severely as a child but i have 4 kids of my own i did spank them but no where near as bad as i was

First,I see the difference between spanking and abuse but your view on discipline is really strange: you seem to think people who don't use spanking as a form of discipline are inevitably too permissive parents.My mother is a professional nanny since 27 years and she has raised 42 children (not to mention my siblings). During those years, she has NEVER used physical punishment: Yet all these children are well educated and now, are well-balanced and respectful adults.And believe me, we were not spoiled children: my mother had millions ways to discipline us without using spanking.Off course, spanking puts a stop to a bad behavior but it doesn't encourage a child to understand the reasons why what he was doing was wrong. It's also a model of agressive behavior. Even though the child is being hit in the context of being disciplined,by hitting your child, you are demonstrating that action is acceptable, that it's OK to hit someone when you are angry.Discipline is a learning opportunity: after being spanking, the child focuses on the punishment, rather than what they are being punished for. So, there are no lessons learned.I don't think spanking will damage mentally the kids but I just think it's a useless and pointless punishment.

So very right.
So sorry for what you had to experience. Violence is wrong, no matter how you put it.

Totally agree!

There's no hitting of any sort in our family. I have 6 nieces and nephews and they're such well adjusted and compassionate little human beings I can't imagine using violence of any sort against them. If non-spanked kids are bratty, look to the parents. Monkey see, monkey do.

Says a woman who takes pictures of her giant boobs to display for the world to see. Yep, monkey see, monkey do. Hope you don't have a daughter. I mean, seriously, no disrespect, but don't you think you could have found something a little more classy to use as your profile picture?

Jessica, I like your comment!

Nope. And no children for me now or ever. I know better. And if you got a problem with my ****, I\'m sorry you\'re jealous. They\'re beautiful and I love them. Way to miss the point entirely.
Haters gon\' hate.

Nope.. but spanking is also a popular sexual act for a reason and I think our kid's are the last people we should subject to shameful humiliation. Leave that to the grown ups that can make the decision to have someone smack at one of their most private of areas.

I respect the fact that you think spanking is a good form of discipline, but if I ever have kids I promise you I will never take your advice. As a person who has helped raise my younger siblings, as well as taken care of other troubled youth I can assure you that spanking is never the correct choice to take. I may not be a parent, but I know with great certainty that if a child grows up in a home that respects him or her, then they will be very well behaved. That is how I grew up, and that is how my three other siblings are growing up. Mutual respect is the key, not fear.

i would hate for you to be my mother :) im a brat thats never been spanked pleased to meet ya x

It sounds like you were spanked the right way. You knew why you were being spanked. It wasn't too severe and I'm sure in the end you knew you were loved and forgiven. Spanking should not be the only tool in the parental toolbox, but it should always be there if it is needed.


I think that a justified (and non abusive) spanking is good discipline for children. But never spank while mad and never do it just "because".

My niece and nephews are never spanked and their all spoiled...

I was spanked way too often and way too harshly and too often for reasons i did not understand.As my own 2 kids grew up I never spanked them,nor did i allow any one else to spank them.However,Im not saying that a little spanking is a bad thing in an extreme situation.Such as catching a Young child doing something rely dangerous to them,if it may save their life.Crossing the street,things like that.

i see your point, but i don't think i could "spank" a child or hurt it physically in anyway.

I agree. People need ti know the difference betwern spanking and abuse. My bro and I got spanked as children and it made us who we are today. I'm thankful that our parents taught us from right to wrong and disiplined us. If they didn't then we would end up in prison. So I thankful for my parents. But I agree with you on this one.

The arguement "I was spanked and I turned out fine" is totally specious. Many people were NOT spanked and turned out fine. Some WERE spanked and turned out bad.

More like LOTS were spanked and turned out bad. I bet they're the same parents that bring kids to NRA meetings, etc... "Violence is ok, kids!" Lol!

I have a question for the grateful spankees out there: from all the posts I read, you are all happy, well adjusted, respectful and law abiding citizens, thanks to the discipline of the spank! cool. So as law abiding, good, well bred citizens, you are affirming that you are using, or will use spanking on your kids. But, the issue is that spanks and forms of physical handling are now unlawful. Basically you are breaking the law, or intending to break it. I don't get it. Good adjustment through decent (spanking) upbringing means flexibility, or at least a willingness to consider why the pressure of societal changes brought a change in the law? so, since now unlawful, pro-spankers should 1/ refrain from spanking their kids and 2/ take legal means to address the issue with the powers that be, including that they are pro-spanking while not engaging in an unlawful act? but many of you are STILL spanking! could you please explain this dichotomy? Because I am really confused by this double side.

First of all I want to say that I am not advocating spanking children. I have two teenaged sons who are fine young men and I never spanked them once. One of the keys to raising good kids is fair, firm, consistent discipline with accent on consistent. Too many parents aren't consistent, and send mixed messages to their kids that sometimes there are consequences and sometimes there aren't. That is the best way to raise a difficult, unhappy child.

That being said, unless you live in a place like Sweden, spanking is not illegal. There are no laws against spanking - in any state - in the United States. In the rest of the world, there are only a handful of places where there are laws against spanking. So, what exactly are you talking about?

It\'s illegal in Canada too.. and I bet that\'s a huge chunk of people on here.
And to correct you, Dallasdeckard, it\'s legal in 49 states. It\'s been illegal in Delaware for long enough that other states should be following suit.
God damn the U.S. is painfully (literally) different than us here in Canada. So happy to be north!

Actually, I partly agree with you. Yes, I beleive a sound spanking IS effective. I do use CORNERTIME directly after I finish administering a spanking. I tend to think that having to stand and face the corner IS time of thoughtful reflection for a child.

I tend to think that using CORNERTIME after administering a spanking for discipline, especially if the parent makes the child stand with their bare bottom on display, for anyone, is embarrassing, humiliating and degrading to that child, and is a form of control by the parent, and is emotional abusive to their child. I believe it's cruel and that you are taking the child's dignity away. You've already punished enough them by spanking them. Now, you want to rub it in to them and that is unnecessary.

There is a link between sexual arousal and spanks, as buttocks are physiologically close to reproductive organs. Some studies find that children spanked may experience arousal which they not only cant explain but are ashamed of, and some develop intimacy if not even perversion issues as they become adults. What is your take on this as a supporter of spanks, and how does it relate to feeling gratefulness later in life for those adults who now have found a direct relationship between smacks and their current sexuality issues?

Paigep, the buttocks is close to the reproductive organs, and it is possible for very few people (specially females) to experience an arousal, while spanked.
But adults who find it erotic, were questioned and they said they came aware of the erotic feeling from a very young age when they saw other children being spanked ~ they didn't even realized at that stage that it was an erotic feeling.

Ukshaver, thanks ~ I agree: Discipline is necessary, but there is NO place for abuse. Most people know the difference!

As far as I can tell people probably knew the difference a lot more in the 1930s.

But just as many don't know the difference. They care more about spanking than they do in correcting their child. Those type of parents, do it for their own good, (they like to inflict pain) not the child's own good.

100% agreed<br />
Thanks for the breath of fresh air ... there have been too many other letters and other responses that go along the airy fairy love will resolve lines.......<br />
<br />
Abuse must not be tolerated<br />
Discipline - in various degrees IS needed

Straight, refers to a path thats not full of turns = not crooked, thus everyone can see what you're up to!<br />
Narrow, is the way that lead to heaven according to the Holy Bible.

I find the mentality of 'children don't get spanked and so don't learn consquences' to be so absurd. Myself and my three siblings NEVER got spanked. Our parents believed in communication and patience. I am a gp and my three siblings are all in the medical professions as well. One being an oncologist and one an ENT specialist. We were not 'better' kids. But the fact that parents would rather whip/spank/beat their kids when there are other options is so rediculous it speaks of nothing bit a big fat kink. Putting the child over your lap...pulling the panties down and spanking their bottom. KINK........not needed yet still defended. Nothing more than strange. Spanking does NOT make a well adjusted adult. It is other factors. Non of my friends/family were spanked and not one of us are anything less than professional adults. Educate yourselves!! Texas is the world's biggest spanking State and yet has one of the biggest crime rates. Spankers are holding onto a tradition and they do it because they like it. As I say......a kink. Nothing more. Get therapy.

You have an unusually good argument for a person who gets up on a very tall high horse and I wonder if the important correlation that you have noted in the one case of Texas could be found in some other cases too?

The primary problem with spanking is that most parents spank when they're angry. When human-beings get angry or upset our animalistic "fight or flight" response kicks in. Subconciously, we either want to attack the problem we're facing or run away from it. This triggers our adrenaline. That's why when we get angry or stressed out, we get tense. We have anger energy flowing through us.<br />
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When our adrenaline is pumping, we will hit harder when we mean to. Abusers usually don't mean to abuse. Oftentimes, parents who physically abuse are people who have spanked or hit their children when they are angry and have that anger adrenaline is rushing through their veins.<br />
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That's one reason that spanking is such a hot-button issue. Parents who would never consider abusing their children, who love their children dearly can be labeled "abusers" in the bl<x>ink of an eye because of the adrenaline rush they experience during their anger.

Well as i have written,my experiances on other groups that i belong to on here,<br />
i was brought up in the 70s as i was born 1963 ( yes old git lol) but i was brought up in a creing loveing home,but when i was naughty or done some thing wrong then yes i would of been,across my Mums lap for a good smacked bottom,which i had a few times,and some times sent to bed afterwards,but it taught me to behave,and respect,and at school i did rescive the slipper on two ocassions,but to be fair i derserved all of my smacked bottoms,both at home and school,my god i would not dare do half the stuff kids do now,or i would of not sat down for a fournight,i do not think grounding works,i wonder if there would be so many old ladies getting mugged,or thefts,or drug related crimes if these teenagers had of had Discipline in there life,so i do belive it should be brought backwell thats my opion any way

Glad you are so positive about the spankings you got.<br />
I got spanked all my childhood and canned in early teen along with my sister and brothers and cousins, whenever we gone beyond the limits. And none of us got any regrets for it, provided we are all grateful to our parents that they raised us all with discipline and now we all are respected citizens. <br />
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I seriously believes that people who got no punishment in childhood when they deserves it, they eventually turned into neglected kind kids and when they grew older most of them become threats to society.<br />
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There is a lot of difference in abusing and disciplining, while spanking or canning.

you can't agree to everyone, and it doesn't make other peoples wrong either. I live in my home, I am glad that you replied to my comment.

First off, dayzeedayzee, I like the way you replied to Brooza. Your response is very mature and wise to the immature and stupid reply posted by Brooza. Secondly I totally agree with your first reply

I think being physical; in anyway, to hurt, to teach a lesson is abuse.

I agrre with your comments SpiritOfTheRabbit

Yes I agree with u.We need to bring back spankings as a form of discipline like it was back in the days when u got spanked anywhere n by anyone n u learned your lesson.Let the spankings begin :)

I would love someone to try and discipline my kids. They'd regret it severely

SOTR, I think you raise a very salient point. Though I was not spanked as a child, I sometimes believe that my teenage years/young adult life (I'm in my early twenties now) might have gone better if I had been. I'll cite an interesting case study which illustrates my thoughts on the issue. In 1897, reputed sociologist Emile Durkheim published a study which demonstrated that there was a higher extant suicide rate among Protestants rather than Catholics. He saw this as directly attributable to the sacrament of Confession or lack thereof. Divulging a sin, atoning for it, and then never speaking of it again seems to allow for a more coherent worldview in general. I've struggled with a lot of sangfroid/dissociation/mental health concerns over the years, and a lot of this is probably because I don't have a deeply ingrained sense of 'right' and 'wrong.' In my house growing up, most infractions equated yelling matches, 'time-outs,' and, when I was older, grounding, which was often not enforced. Also, once the grounding was over, I would still be incessantly reminded of the offense for a protracted period. Of course, I'm well aware that there are many horror stories surrounding corporal punishment...but then, anything is an abusable escape. It's never going to work in 100% of circumstances with 100% of kids. Unfortunately, I think it would have worked for me. Maybe I'm wrong, but there you have it. Thanks for sharing.

I don't get in trub for anything....though I probably should:p

I'm with you! I'm afraid to think where I would be right now if my parents hadn't spanked me. Sometimes there's no other way to get the message across. <br />
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If I ever have kids, they'll get spankings as well, when they deserve it.

I was spanked growing up and remember deserving every one of them. Not abuse, just good corrective spankings - the "Hot Stove" theory. Do something wrong and the consequences are immediate. Today as an adult, I worry when I do something wrong, I respect authority, and I have a successful life. So, the spankings could not have been all bad.

I grew up with spanking as well. It was very common then at home and at school. Like most I didn't always agree with it..but it worked for me and many other friends of mine. We were held accountable for our thought more about what you had done when bending over .....and then sitting on a sore bottom! Yes those who were never spanked did seem to have a lot more problems when they grew up dealing with the real world. I know it's such a controversal subject these days..but it still works ! There is so much disrespect these days. among the younger generations.

Me too, though in my case, i still feel like I need it from time to time. :(

DieManuela, do you spank your children? If so, what do you prefer to use?

SOTR & Serena, in the examples you name, spanking will be the only medicine. Thus, I agree!

Yeah, I work at a daycare, and a big problem with some of those kids is that they are not afraid of the consequences of the things they do. They talk back to their parents and to other adults like they own the world. And I know their parents are trying. They take away toys and privileges when their kids misbehave, but I don't think it's enough. I was spanked a lot as a child so in my teens I was very against it and was happy to hear that many parents were giving it up as a method of discipline, but now I'm seeing the result of that.

I'm seeing the same thing. Frustrated parents (who don't spank) throwing their hands up and saying, "What to do? My child won't listen to me!" *facepalm*

A/11 and Jullen,<br />
Spanking cause bodily pain, but spanking is not applied for the pain ~ I'm not talking about sadists who loves to hurt people ~ it is for the receiver to learn that actions have consequences. Running over a street in front of a vehicle will also cause pain. I would rather let my child's bum pain, to teach him/her a lesson.<br />
Spankings are also prescribe by the Bible ~ sins can not be allowed.

Learned much from getting my bottom red. After throwing a fit, it was tough to sit and painful to take a _ __..

I have never been hit by my parents. I'm 15, and I don't drink, smoke or commit crimes. I'm a straight 12-student (Danish grades but a 12 is an A in the US) and I am considered a very well behaved kid. I have been disciplined but no harder than a good talk about why to behave well or at worst case I've been sent to my room.<br />
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I don't believe in spanking children. You can't deny, that being spanked caused you pain. Due to psychological reasons, a child is grateful to it's parents because they have it's love no matter what, and the psych of the child does everything to make the child believe that it was it's own fault. Most people who've been spanked end up spanking their own children because they need to pass the pain on to keep them from getting insane.<br />
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If my grammar is bad, it's because I'm from Denmark.<br />
Best Regards.

I disagree. Spanking your child is not about inflicting pain, its about punishing a bad decision in order to teach the child about action = consequences. I agree that talking and taking away privileges should happen first. But if those don't work (and with some kids, they don't), spanking is something I believe should be an option.

"I definitely believe that too many parents are not guiding and teaching their children. "<br />
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The problem is your father taught you it's okay to inflict pain on a child. Another problem is your father taught you it's okay to consider a child less than human, if it's only done twice during the child's childhood.

This pain you speak of lasted about 30 seconds. A small price to pay in exchange for the guidance and the lesson learned.

SpiritOfTheRabbit. Thank you for staying with us through these hard discussions with people like Aaronb11 who have beans in their ears.

Spirit/OTR, <br />
I agree with you!

"He taught me [by hurting me] that there are consequences to disobedient behavior."<br />
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In other words, you learned through fear & intimidation not to cross your father. That's the same method schoolyard bullies use & is probably where he learned the tactic.<br />
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Oddly, spanking in the form of "consequences for disobedient behavior" does nothing to prepare a child for adulthood, since, ironically, adults understand without being hurt that "there are consequences for ALL behavior"<br />
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Some adults, though, like the act of hurting children. It's there last semblance of power & dammit, they want to *feel* the rush by hurting people who can't defend themselves.<br />
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On behalf of your father, I apologize for him bullying you.

Oh geeze. Really? You're gonna over-generalize and say that my father *liked* spanking me and got a rush from it? He only spanked me TWICE. I think if he liked it and got a rush from it he would have done it way more often than that. lol.
Seriously, this issue is a non-issue. If you don't want to spank your children, great. If you do, great. WHO CARES? To each his own.

If you want to treat children like they aren't human, not great. Who cares? I do. And, children do. In fact, when you were being hurt by your father (BOTH TIMES), you didn't like it at all. You were a human then &amp; you deserved to have a life without having pain intentionally inflicted on you. Just like you're a human now &amp; you deserve not to be hurt. Your father denied you a basic human right. That you celebrate the fact your father violated your humanity (TWICE) is evidence that your worldview is warped in a way that you don't view children as human. Rather, you view children as sub-human, but human-like, creatures. That's why you are able to say with a straight face if an adult wants to hurt their child (as if the child is OWNED), "great". In fact, you even sum up the ownership: "To each his OWN". Meaning, to each parent goes the right do hurt the child they own (parented). Again, on your father's behalf, as an adult, I apologize to that child who you were &amp; are, inside your mind, who did NOT like being hurt those times. And yes, I will always speak *FOR* children's protection...not like what you're doing, speaking AGAINST children's protection from being hurt. (remember, a so-called spanking doesn't count unless it hurts) You can accept your father's behavior. I don't. You can celebrate that position that hitting a child is okay (which is an abuse of parental authority, therefore, child-abuse). I don't. I condemn it. There is ZERO opportunity to decide to hurt a child if you view the child as a human. The only time one human can intentionally hurt another human is after the victim is determined to be less than human. Humans don't intentionally hurt others they view as human.

Aaronb11 we would have been allies against the Rehnquist court. I hope that their obscene treatment of the whole business gets overturned and it seems to me that if maybe there are people who deserve to bend over for a spanking sometimes then probably they first got all fed up with a more casual version of it somehow. If there are parents who would slap your hand over the issue then I tend to think that they’re getting it a little bit off and if the public school would hit you over the head with a big stick for it then as far as I can tell maybe those teachers over there have a lead deficiency?

Not for sure yet and there is no sense in having a temper tantrum over it but apart from any long story about oils and kings I would think that if Rabbit were really a bully then she would beat her children for sure!

What if she is going to spank her children, if it fit, and otherwise if it could really be the other way? A broad-minded Rabbit? That’s not what I would usually expect from a bully... And you?

90% of parents in the U.S. admit to spanking their children yet you all say children today need to be spanked. Clearly they are yet you still think that is the cause of rude and disrespectful children and adults. That is not the problem. The problem is parents today are not taking time to guide their children through life by showing them how to act. Parents are being reactionary and punishing children after a mistake has been made instead of showing their kids how to act BEFORE a problem arises. Makes all the difference in the world.

I definitely believe that too many parents are not guiding and teaching their children. My father only had to spank me twice in my entire life, because after he guided me and told me the right thing to do, I disobeyed. He didn't abuse me. He taught me that there are consequences to disobedient behavior.

Thankyou Phoenix and I agree entirely but this thread seems to be full of nasty people who think it's OK to inflict violence on one the most vulnerable grou[ps in our society (they wouldn't hit and elderly or disabled person but they don't hesitate when it comes to little ones). The rest of them a clearly spanking fantasists who get off posting stuff like this - they should be on some sort of spanking forum

None of my many brothers or sisters have even hit their children, neither have any of my friends and yet all of them have turned out to be solid citizens and successful and well-behaved. When I've asked swhy they didn't, love seemed to be the word most commonly used in the answer and the general concensus was: why after waiting years and years to have a baby would I want to start hitting the very thing I love most in my life. Simple really!

"I believe in spanking children as a form of discipline"<br />
<br />
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Indeed! But let's elaborate. Spanking is an ineffective, violent form of discipline. It reduces the child to a victim & the parent to a bully.<br />
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Parents who rely on spanking, even as a "last resort in the toolbox", have missed (or failed to take advantage of, other opportunities to approach parenting their child.

I disagree, but thank you for commenting. I guess it's good that there are many approaches to raising children, and that each family is free to do so as it sees fit.

You are free to disagree all you wish. Stating the obvious is like cursing, it happens most when one is at a loss of words. The problem is not that parents are "free" to bully their children, the problem is that parent *do* bully their children. Further, parents are *not* free to do as they see fit. For example, a parent is not free to handcuff a child to a shopping cart being pulled along a vehicle on the expressway. In other words, your disagreement occurs in a zone of wrongness broader than you imagined. The trick getting you to understand hurting children is also wrong. I hope you give it some thought. You're welcome, by the way.

Aaronb11. People like you who think that spanking means bullying have also been making a big deal about these times that we live in and those who find it hard to believe that everyone who is grateful is also fit for the loony bin have been getting more involved with the remote and final endings of various fashions of home.

Looks like this is a pretty controversial subject. I'm just speaking from my personal experience- spanking and corporal punishment didn't hurt me in the long run, and I would definitely spank my children if no other method worked. Children need to know their boundaries, and as parents, it is your job to teach them their boundaries. If you fail to do that, yes sir, you are a bad parent.

You have my confidence.

YOU PEOPLE who thank your parents for causing you pain need help! I even told my mother she was a horrible mother for spanking me! I told her my dad was a better parent than she was and she was stupid for how she chose to raise me. She is only allowed to see her grandson as long as she never puts a hand on him. If she even lightly swats him she will never be allowed to see him again. I am also glad my husband doesn't believe in spanking either or I would have to leave him if he ever put his hands on our child and I would make sure he never saw our kid again.<br />
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Also, NO discipline at all means unruly and rude teens. You can ALWAYS find a non corporal punishment to use and never hit any kid. But keep being violent abusive parents and hurt your kids. It is obvious most of you don't care if you cause your children any pain.

Yes of course there are some abusive parents around but I would be very surprised if SpiritOfTheRabbit is among them.

My mother spanked me and I NEVER respected her. I hated her. And yes she did it calmly and in control..My dad never laid a hand on me and I respected him so much more. He used other discipline methods. No matter what I did, even if I cussed he didn't hit me. When I turned 15, I smart mouthed my mom and called her a ***** and she slapped me, I slapped her back, she hit me back, I punched her. We kept fighting until she finally walked away cause I told her as long as she hit me I would hit back. That was the LAST time she ever hit me. When she is old and can't take care of herself, she will go into a nursing home for spanking me. <br />
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My husband took his dad's belt back at age 14 and hit him with it. His dad never hit him again. He realized his son had gotten big enough to fight back. My husband and I have never hit our son. We never even swatted his hand when he tried to touch the stove or run into the street. We also taught him in non-painful ways to not do things. There is NEVER a reason to hurt your kids ever. If you really love them you will never cause them even an ounce of pain. And my son is a very strong willed, stubborn little 3 year old. And we still will never ever cause him pain. <br />
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The ones who believe in spankng should be hit back and never be blessed with kids. If I see any kid in public being swatted, I call the cops. Don't be bullies to your kids! you don't own them, so you have no rights to touch them like that. Spanking only teaches kids to behave out of fear of pain and that is wrong! Take parenting classes and learn non-violent ways to teach your kids. And no matter how small the swat or spanking it is still wrong!

Personal = absolutely true!

right you are!

I agree with you because i was spanked by my chreeleading coach for not doing my work and now i almost always have my work done and whens its not done she says she going to spank me.

Parenting With Discipline and Love . Strict Parents Take Charge and Make Very Strict Rules .youngsters Need Teaching from The Start obiedience . When House Rules Are Broken A Sore Bottom is Needed . Tears will flow it has to Hurt its A Punishment . i MySelf was Spanked on My bare bottom By My Mum from when i was Very young if i was Disobedient . i Cried Lots . But it did me no Lasting Harm . Corrective Therapy When A Child is young Stops Them Getting into Real Trouble as They Get older . A well Disciplined youngster has Good Parents . That Are Teaching Right from wrong . With Discipline and Love . Stern But Caring Parenting Works . Teenagers often Need Stricter Discipline With Firm Guidance Parents Must Stay in Charge if They want Them to have A Future and Become Good ADULTS . UnDisciplined youngsters Become Disruptive Teenagers and UseLess Adults No one Would give A Job to .

I am so happy to read all these comments, I am a mother of 2 boys, a 3 year old and a 4 month old, I have to say my 3 year old is quite something else, and I' ve tried talking to him, givi him time outs and taking away toys but it is sad to admit that the only thing that really gets his attention is to tell him next time the spanking is coming, and gets spankins left and right but ritght now I know if I don't draw a discipline line I'll pay the consecuences later on in life when he gets in real trouble, don't get me wrong I don't abuse him or hit him to death but I spank his butt or hands depending ont he action and he usually won't do it again.

my father spanked me with his belt. he would chase me and catch me, grab both my legs, pull them up in the air, take off his belt, fold it in half and spank me hard on my bottom and thighs. it really hurt. it made me angry, shy afraid and timid. it also, after the fact, generated sexual feelings. i got spanked until i was about twelve. i have a spanking fetish now. not a day goes by that i don't think about and fantisize about being spanked. i never spanked my kids.

spanking can help but authority, discipline and love come first<br />
people resort to punishment because they cant communicate effectively<br />
let s not be quick to hit, and let s not make it a kinky habit<br />
i would however smack my kid if he or she really deserved but first there must be communication

I feel that the punishment must fit the crime. If a kid is running through the house, maybe a few brief swats are needed. If they continue to not listen, maybe a light session with the belt. However, they should not be getting severe sessions with the belt or strap for minor offenses. That I believe can be abusive. I think kids should be kids without constant fear of being spanked. <br />
However, where I am old fashioned is that as the "crime" escalates, so should the punishment. I personally have no problem with parents giving their children, long, hard, thorough punishments: belts, canes, straps, etc. if their children commit dangerous acts, illegal acts, or repeatedly breaking rules previously punished for. Unfortunately in this day and age, I would never punish my children as I was. Not that I feel I was wronged in any way, simply because I do not want to deal with Child Services.

Aaad: I agree. Discipline is an integral part of becoming a responsible adult who makes healthy choices. Not to say that a child who isn't spanked can't make good choices, but it always seems like the ones raised with no discipline are the ones who end up in trouble later.

Strict Parenting Makes Better ADULTS . Bringing up youngsters Without Discipline is Stupid . Discipline is Corrective Therapy . Teaching youngsters to do whats Right . When i was A youngster Growing up in The 1950s 1960s . if i did SomeThing Bad i Got Punished on my bare bottom . i Had Strict Parents . Looking Back i am Glad .

I got spanked and canned at school and lots more but it made me a better person and it did me no harm how I hate do gooders ruining our kids your so right and my kids got a spanking when needed and now their respectable young adults so it did them no harm either.

Steveslittlehelper . i Agree .i Could Not have Said it Better MySelf

Of course there is nothing wrong with spanking,i spank my 4 regularly.I was spanked as a child it never did me any harm & i've never been in trouble as an adult.Time outs & taking toys away does'nt work like a spanking does.


I'm not reading all the Comments here. But I disagree.

I guess so. Although in Paula's case her bad behavior started all over again once her father was safely overseas. Even though she must have known the next time she would get her bottom spanked harder.

Grounding wasn't an effective punishment for me, since I had no social life anyway, and time-outs never bothered me either since i had no problem sitting quietly, so spanking was the only way to insure there were no repeat performances of my bad behaviors.

I guess all families are different, S of the R. My old girlfriend Paula was still getting her bottom spanked when she was a teenager. But her father was away a lot on business and she admitted she was cheeky to her mother and got bad school reports. So when father came home just about the first thing he did was to take Paula upstairs and put her over his knee. <br />
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But that didn't just happen once, it happened several times, so it only really worked while he was around and it didn't stop Paula reverting to her old ways once he'd gone back abroad. How many times did you have to be spanked and do you reckon it made you behave better than other remedies like grounding, stopping your allowance or making you do things round the house?

I'm glad those methods worked for your family, Norianna! :)

I have two great kids who I used time outs and have taken privileges away from them when they've done wrong(with no spanking whatsoever). I did it 3 or 4 times and boy did they hate it. Also because of the love they have for me, they want to please me. We all respect each other, love each other, communicate and share time together as a true family should. I don't get complaints from them in school and at home they are happy campers. God bless my little family!

Growing up in a middle class family in the 1970's, it was normal to get a good hard spanking from your mother or father,even your uncle or aunt once in a while. All my friends were spanked by their parents too, although every household was different. Personally, my sisters' and I were always spanked in private, by mom or dad with our pants and underwear down at our ankles with a ping pong paddle or an old wooden hairbrush. We usually deserved it, and I am grateful to my parents for raising us that way. It didn't happen a lot over the years, but when it did, you would remember it for a while. We always left the room with a very red behind. <br />
I am not a parent,but I believe kids today should be put over their parents knees and given a good long hard spanking,when they deserve it and learn what consequences are, and take some responsibility for their actions. My nieces and nephews are spanked when they are bad, just like my sister's and I were, and are growing up good , respectful teens.

Even the asker is a fantasist

Nah, you're just a fantasistYour forum name gives the game away. Your mother's friend didn't spank you in the supermarket - you just wished she had done

No Moonbather hot4spanking had been spanked bare bottom on the street by her mother when she was fifteen years old and this 2011 incident appears to be very much more recent. Maybe she has been hot 4 spanking for a long time but I don't think that that means that she dreamed it up. See hot4spanking 01/31/2011 in the group I Like To Hear About Others' Spankings When They Were A Child/1383775 "Spanked On the Street."

Ive been both abused beat and spanked and abuse made me more rebellious but spanking made me try to be better.My friends mum smakcked me real hard on the butt in the supermarket the other day cos I stole a toy and I was like soooo embarrased.She said next time she'd take me out to the car and spank me bare bottom otk,Thats why spankings work but abuse doesnt...

babala writes:<br />
"The life energy sits where? opposite your butt or bum. If you spank a person or child there the energy which is normally blocked in that aerea moves up to the heart and activates it an the whole body. So energy wise its excellent and the easiest way to open a heart."<br />
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Well that's a new one on me. Like it... but don't buy it. Here's an observation, not personally directed at you: 1. Admission of finding spanking arousing, erotic - fetish. 2. Recommendation of spanking in child rearing (albeit in a very particular form). Certain individuals on this forum obviously subscribe to both 1. and 2. BUT NEVER attempt to reconcile the two. Indeed, the two pieces of information never appear in the same comment. So, enough of opinions, lets have the truth. Something is hidden.<br />
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Look up "DH Lawrence" and "spanking". The famous author of erotic novels had extraordinary pro-spanking views in relation to child rearing and I found them most impressive. However, though there may be 'good' hitting stories, in my view spanking (of children) is too dangerous to warrant sanctioning in any form by the state. Whatever your take, spanking becomes abusive far too easily, and when spanking is systemic it becomes a weapon of the self-righteous and oppressive.<br />
On the other hand, criminalizing the average spanker is not the answer either. People need help to be better parents, not punishment! How about banning alcohol, smoking and television from homes too? That shocked you!<br />
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I'm in the Jean-Jacques Rousseau camp; you want to confess your predilection but you would expect, on the whole, to receive negative judgment and condemnation from the general public. These are not the enlightened times we are often led to believe they are. Prove me wrong.<br />
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Life is difficult.

Yes Rousseau was the greatest education philosopher that I know of. But I thought that that one had favored a good reputation for beatings? Am I missing something?

If spanking wouldnt be made a bad thing you could see that it has plus points to any other way of acting. I) quick swat for a little one is all it needs to get the kid out of its mind. It takes not even a second. Any explanation or communicate take at least as long if not longer.<br />
A kid learns fastes by bodily experience as the inprint is higher and mostly is longer felt.Its as well a matter of energy transformation and thats probably the main reason why spankers like it. .The life energy sits where? opposite your butt or bum. If you spank a person or child there the energy which is normally blocked in that aerea moves up to the heart and activates it an the whole body.<br />
So energy wise its excellent and the easiest way to open a heart. Thats the main reason while people who experienced it fight for it to be allowed to have it, So any parents does a good job no matter what your mind speaks as it is a good energy transferal methode supported by the creator otherwise he wouldnt had constructed the body as he is. Anger and upsetnes gets dissolved in seconds or latest minutes- what a miracle release point!!

were you spanked bare and will you spank bare

I remember being spanked only once, I also had pepper put in my mouth lol :P. Other times, my mom just raised her voice at me. Sometimes it angered me to get punished and i cried, but it sure made me learn to respect people with authority. I too am glad I got what I got, and I do believe that spanking is a good way to teach children a good lesson, it can "wake them up". I like when in the movie, Kingdom of Heaven, an old man tells a younger man something that's meaningful to him, then strikes the man across the face saying "and that's so you'll remember it". Lol :) But I don't know, I'm odd though. I'd prefer a fist fight over a verbal fight, probably because I'm an Aries ruled by Mars, the god of war, (if you believe in astrology) or my mother's raised voice traumatized me enough to make me like physical violence over verbal violence. Anyways, sorry for straying a little off the topic of spanking lol =P.

They have less understanding of cause and effect, and they usually have little respect for authority.

Thank you.