I Had To Pee In A Stuck Elevator

I had just graduated law school, and had taken a job at a law firm.  A nearby gym offered a month free, and I joined.  I bought some new exercise clothes, and went to the gym.  The locker room was on the first floor, and you had to take an elevator to the third floor exercise area.

Well, it was hot up there, and I got sweaty.  The new clothes started to stick to me, and as they got wetter, they became much more revealing than I liked.  I was thirsty, and I needed to pee pretty desperately.  (Does anyone understand why you are thirsty and need to pee at the same time?)

Time to leave.  I walked to the elevator, and pressed the button.  As I was getting on, this quite hot guy entered the elevator.  I, who am never at a loss for words, couldn’t think what to say.  The elevator moved a few feet down, and was stuck.  I thought that I really needed to say something witty and insightful to impress him.  I said “I’m sweaty, thirsty, I need to pee, and the elevator is stuck.”

Now that I had blown it completely, I relaxed and began to be my chatty self.  We tried the alarm button and phone, but they did not work.  Cell phones did not work (neither he nor I trusted the lockers, so phones, wallets, keys, etc, were with us).  After about 30 minutes, the conversation turned my quite desperate need to pee.  I told him I couldn’t wait.  We chose an appropriate location within this small elevator, and he turned his back.

Does anyone know how loud peeing on an elevator floor sounds?  It was like a waterfall.  I think he was smirking.  Anyway, I gave the all clear, and we resumed our conversation.  I was regretting more and more my stupid comment when the elevator stopped.

About an hour later, the elevator moved, and we both got off.  (I feel bad for whoever had to clean that elevator).  The building was almost empty, and there was a sign on the door saying the gym was closed due to a partial power failure.

I was again trying to think of something witty, when he asked if I would like to join him for a light dinner.  I said yes.  We have now been married for over 20 years.

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1 Response Mar 10, 2010

If it were me there, I would have sat down and opened my mouth wide and told you to have a seat.