Got To Be Somebody

Before i was very popular from the age of 9 - 16. I had alot of friends ( Bouth male and female`s). Was at partys every weekend (maby not when i as 9years old) but still, Everyone always called my phone asking what I was up to. thouse days are not anymore.

I still got the same friends (but now only boys) and its always me that calls them, they never calls me. I feel like their my friends when im with them, but the fact that i always have to call them makes me think.                                                                                                                  thats probaly how it all started tho. 

Now i dont feel like im popular anymore, i have less then half as many friends as before. I had a girlfriend that dumped me 2 weeks ago because i was smoking pot tho much ( like 4 -6 times pr month with are nothing in my eyes. We was together for like 3years so ofc im abit sad because of that. but the last year i have been loosing alot of my friends (just lost contact) , my girlfriend, and im not much social anymore. im either home or im out smoking pot or eat mushrooms like i have been doing everyday since my girlfriend dumped me. Many of the friends me and my X had together is always with her and never got time for me. And i realy dont know what to do anymore. i fell like... (Nothing realy.) Just sad. but when i see my X - girlfriend witch actualy goes in my class i cant cry i cant smile im just feeling sad inside. while everyone else thinks that i am happy and just chilling. im realy smoking drinking and all that just to get away from my sadness.

 

 Im sorry about my bad english. im bether to speak it then spell it.

can anyone give me some answers? Ill be dead by the end of this week. unless i figure out a way to forget:(

gangstertechno gangstertechno
18-21, M
Feb 8, 2010