It Hurts

Okay, I am officially really hurt now.

There is that one person I know and I really, really like very much. I am here where I am and the person lives far, far away. Once a month for a week we work on the same project together and we email each other ten thousand times a day. Some time ago we stopped emailing each other “dear xxxx” and we just say “hi you :-)”. Some time ago we exchanged our IM and we used to be online until 4 in the morning talking about stuff. I started to trust this person. And suddenly everything stopped. Just died. I do not why. Am I that boring? Has this person suddenly realised that? Have I pushed this person away? …

This person could tell I was sad even while I was smiling and laughing! To questions I was always answering: I do not want to bother you with my problems, it is nothing, I am fine, I have not cried. Have I hurt the person by not being true? We still work together, talk on the phone and email like if nothing has happened but I know it is not the same anymore. Besides that is work. I can not suddenly ask “how are you really feeling”. I miss my friend. Hmm…I do not even know if that is a friendship.

I have just seen this person online for quite a while now and this “friend” has not bothered to say even one little “hi”. My every “hello” has been left without a reply for a week. Is the person that busy? Maybe I am like a pest? Maybe I am desperately looking for new friends and have not realised I am pushing too much?

Argh… I am angry with myself I feel like this because of a stupid IM!!

Sorry, had to say all that. Feels a tad better.

spot spot
31-35, F
3 Responses Jul 23, 2007

You know, asking them why *they* freaked out and broke what was an established pattern does not imply you were hurt. I know this isn't the language you'd use but contemplate this "hey dude, what's with the weird cold shoulder act? did I rub you up the wrong way or something? never knew you were so sensitive ;)". Obviously you need to find a way that you are happy asking the question though. But I think it's certainly possible to find out what went on AND protect yourself, if you do it right. After all. it's not it's you acting like the weirdo and going all silent treatment on them :P Take the moral high ground, it's yours by right! (not sure what you mean by the "feelings" part of your reply though? :g)

feelings? what feelings? c’mon…. that is impossible! you are quite right though that asking the question would clarify the situation. the thing is I can not do that because that would imply I was hurt. if somebody does not want to talk with me I can not make them… argh, I am blabbing again… thanks TheTardyDodo!

Hey, glad to see that getting that off your chest helped! Sounds like finding out what the deal was would really help! Why not just flat out ASK what that was all about. It is a fair enough question, I think. Clarification might stop the hurt altogether! I have a theory though, and that is that FEELINGS got in the way somewhere. Either they got involved with someone, or they were chatting with you whilst "on break" from a relationship. That's the usual cause of that sort of behaviour, methinks.