Will Smith's Words Gave Me Hope:

As someone who grew up without the ability to depend on their parents to teach them the ways of life. I was forced to find a new teacher. I can remember vividly watching my parents fight. Sometimes I would just stand there and watch them. Others, I would get in between them. Tell them to stop, beg them to stop, but after a while I realized my efforts had little effect. One fight would end, but another would shortly begin thereafter. It was an endless cycle of yelling, pushing, and name calling. I came to terms with the fact that I was too small to be seen, too young to make an impact on their hearts, and too quiet to be heard...eventually I just wanted to escape, leave the violence that was my home, and find some way to drown out the noises. Television was my answer. I would sit for hours mindlessly watching television, memorizing all the shows and dialogue, and whenever I heard the clear sounds of another fight, the volume control became my best friend. I could drown out the curses, I could drown out the sound of breaking objects, but I could never drown out my need for help. As I grew older the television became my only teacher. I wasn't given a chance to ask my mother about puberty before she left, and I was too embarrassed to ask my father. I taught myself how to shave, thanks to watching those razor commercials. I taught myself about “that time of the month” thanks to television and some books. I soon found little need to ask for help. Any answer I needed was already in a book at the library, or on television. The internet became a valuable guide as well. It's sad, but everything I know of life and of growth, I never learned from another human being. And although I'd like to say this fact made me stronger...I cannot...it's made me lonely. I’m now afraid to ask for help and for advice, afraid of judgment and awkward silences. Teaching myself how to grown up, has made me a horribly, terribly lonely person. But I know that I am not the only one who has endured this or will endure this. So I will share with you a quote that gave me guidance when I had none:
“There are so many people who have lived and died before you. You will never have a new problem; you're not going to ever have a new problem. Somebody wrote the answer down in a book somewhere.”
 Will Smith
I saw Will Smith say this on the television when I was a little girl and it made an impact. I suddenly wasn't alone, I was no longer an enigma, no longer a stranger in a strange world. So for those of you without a parent to guide you, know that there is no problem, no obstacle, and no loss that has not already be faced or concurred. The answers are written or spoken. You can find them if you search for them. But please remember, learn from my mistakes, if the opportunity to ask for advice presents itself, do not assume you can do it all on your own. Otherwise you will never truly have the human experience; you will never feel the joy of being able to absolutely trust another human being. You will be where I am now, alone and searching for the strength to depend on others. One day I will succeed, as I have in so many other ways, but for now I give you the quote that gave me hope, and my story so that you may learn from my mistakes.

~Aven Ross
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4 Responses Sep 11, 2012

I understand what you're saying. Don't know what I would have done without TV. Thanks for your story.

Whoah! You're practically my twin! Mine were spiderman btw...

I never rated Will Smith much, his films give the impression of a shallow person.
Just for this on piece of advice. I must re-evaluate him.

i hear you.....I grew up under similar circumstances.