It's A Terrible Cycle I Should Have Watched More Carefully

My parents are a royal mess. My brother and I see it everyday when we look at them. Our father is bipolar and between the divorce, him remarrying, and him being left again, he's gone off the deep end (paranoid, delusional). Our moter remarried a great guy that is going to wind up putting up with her until the very end (my sympathy to him, completley). She is severely depressed and pushes that depression on everyone around her. She's done this since we were little.

If I would have looked at the trend that people make of their behaviours, then sometimes I think I would have been able to avoid the life that my children will have to endure with their mother. Don't get me wrong, I have my faults, but I make an effort to keep myself in check. I ask myself "what do I look like when i do ____ and these innocent little girls see their daddy doing it?". I watch myself to make sure I provide some sense of security, authority, and respectability. It frequently melts away into being a big kid with them, and then I get too lax and have to backpedal myself to let them know that we can't always have fun.

I wish that they could look at their mother and see someone that is happy or sensitive to others' feeling or deeply loving to their father. I know that it won't happen, and I just hope that they will see the comparison between the two of us and know that my endurance of her is the example that I want them to follow. Not that I want them to be submissive to an abusive partner, but hopefully they will grow to be a caring and tender partner to someone who deserves them.

V8fusion V8fusion
26-30, M
1 Response Mar 5, 2010

I'm certain that by checking our behaviour and by being big enough to say sorry to our children when we get it wrong, we will be half way to stopping the cycle from continuing. I'll bet you are doing a great job and they love you very much :)