Possesion Of A Huge Heart

I dont know how i or why i love so much or so openly when i look back.i was taken from my mother wen i was nine for neglect and being "perentified".i raised my brother and took care of our mother since she was so ill all the time.later to find out it was mostly mental.we were put in my au ts house who had spoiled me in childhood but once we lived with her i found out all that glitter was not gold.my brother and i were mentally and physically abused.my brother would be put in the mirror and forced to repeat " i am an idiot" for hours at tje age of 3. I was told i was fat regularly but then force fed by my uncle.nleach baths..molested by my cousin daily amongst other things.babysat by a man who was later found a serial killer and so on.eventually we were moved to my foster mother yvonne.who loved us.she showed us new experiences...raised my self esteem and loved us with a mothers love.but our behavior from our previous abuse proved to be too hard for her and we were seperated.3 group homes later i was placed with my next foster mother kathy.she was everything ud want in. Mother.i had little contact with my brother but when i did see him it was obvious that he was being abused and starved.i eneded up in drugs and gangs and once again proved to be too much even for kathy.i was moved to 3 different homes in 2 days till they placed me with linda a chinese woman.i had never seen an asian outside of jet lee.the culture shock was bad enough.but she was also neglectful.she only had foster kids for money.once again i turned to drugs.my foster dad was there only for holidays which was wen i was sexually abused.we went to japan where i was nearly sold into the sex trade.luckily her family member talked her out of it sum how.at 13 i was released to my mother.and my brother had been released to his father and ebentually we were able to all live together.we lived in the ghetto and i turned back to drugs and gang life.my dad left and my mother literally went insane.she began to abuse me and of course id retalliate.which put me into the juvenile court system.finally one day she was caught chasing me trying to beat me with a metal chair.we were taken and i was put in juvenile hall since polinsky would not take a probatilnal youth.i went to 2 group homes untill i was 18 and then released to the streets.my mother was in acoma since that day and then pased away.i was alone.my brother was adopted and iwas alone.i have been getting by.in and out of school..working and now a mother.i still have alot of work to do on myself but i do hope to one day do something for foster children.for now i work at the ymca helping children from all adversities.but i am happy and have gotten passed all those obstacles.but some how i still have a huge heart and love eberyone i let into my life.every child that comes into my care becomes one of MY children and i love them openly. I dont know how i still love so deeply but i believe thay due to my time in foster care i appreciate every person..and that maybe if i give the love i missed out on maybe i can help them.
superkid superkid
22-25, F
Sep 11, 2012