Broken and Unable to Function Alone

Not having an adequate chance for socialization makes life in society problematical.  In addition to this, my mother learned I was associating with Christians and began to threaten and otherwise pressure me, go through my belongings to root out religious material and put my youngest brother in charge of me to obey him.  My father was distant, but would have probably beat me with a belt (quite hard) if I fought my mom.  Now I am unable to even think about carrying on a normal life, but it was only recently that I knew myself that I was unable to do this.  As a result, instead of trying to pursue relationships on the basis of what I think I should be, I have learned to pursue relationships on the basis of what I am, which is someone who needs another (a woman) to order my life, give me boundaries and shield me from and deal with things that, for all practical purposes, I cannot.  That doesn't mean that things will always stay like this, but if I am to grow and regain some ability to deal with life in a normal fashion, I need help in order to do so.
paradigmshift paradigmshift
41-45, M
2 Responses Apr 1, 2007

i am sad for you that you were put in the situation that you got in trouble for just having friends of a different religion that your mother didn't approve of. that is very difficult. <br />
you will find everything you need and want, just give yourself time. <br />

I hear ya. Religion is a big problem these days. It is wrong to hate someone based on religion. They are still people. Well one day I am sure you will get your woman partner and I can only hope that she gives you a firm ground to walk on since so much trouble was brought your way. Someone on your side that you can share almost anything with is a great thing to have and one day you will have it. Just don't give up. Hope the future goes your way.