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So Young And So Confused

When I was very young both my parents worked in the city and commute 3hrs + a day. I was pretty much raised by my grandparents until I was about 9 yrs old. That was when my younger sister was born and my mom decided to quit her job and stay at home with her. 
My parents never really sat me down to explain anything to me.....so a lot of this I had to figure out on my own. 
I didn't understand why we stopped going out on weekends and stopped going out for dinner......these were the only things I shared with my parents

the following years were very hard for me, especially at that age when clothes and things started to become important 
all my friends had nice clothes. I had hand-me downs from my aunt that didnt fit and were completely out of style. 
my sister had hand me downs to.....but from cousins that were rich and close to her age....so her clothes were still practically new

We had a few really rough Christmas's where I didn't get anything
and we never really had much food.....my dad hated giving my mom money for anything.....i remember her even having to budget back to school supplies from her grocery money....but my dad always had money for golfing and hunting and fishing and beer and drugs........
my dad would always be so vocal how we're 'costing him money again....'

If only my parents actually talked to me about things, maybe I would have understood more
Kids used to make fun of my clothes
I didn't get to go out with everyone else because we had no money
we never really had any vacations, when my friends were always going to florida or to the east coast or niagara falls or someplace


when i was 16 my parents made me get a job. once i was working it was pretty much my own responsibility to take care of myself.  clothes, shampoo, conditioner, make up, deodorant, everything I had to buy for myself.  
I think just their whole attitude.......I was a big inconvenience for them. a waste of money. My dad never let me forget about that......
It's like they couldn't wait till I was old enough to work so they wouldn't have to support me anymore.
sweetsie sweetsie 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 21, 2011

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I know where you are coming from with the poor. I grew up in a trailer and all the kids made fun of me too. Hand me down clothes and goodwill clothes. We would go sit at the church for handouts of food. On the weekends I would go behind the grocery stores and wait for the bakery to throw out the old food. Just so I can have a sweet taste of a cookie or some cake. When I was 16 I didn't have a choice but to work. If I wanted or needed something I had to buy it. God bless my mom for trying so hard. She rode a bike ten miles to work. Barely made enough to buy food and pay the rent on the trailer space. I didn't realize how lucky I was. Because I knew that she wouldn't rest or sleep unless I had some food. I lied your story. Similar to me, all except the dad part. I feel for you about how you grew up just like me. That is what makes us stronger than the rest.

Thank you for your comment =)
I remember in high school (in the 90s) trying to go with the whole grunge / vintage scene just to hide the fact that i didn't have a choice but to shop at 2nd hand stores.
You are lucky you had a mom that really cared about you!
Thank you for sharing....its nice to know that someone understands