The Awakening In The Late 4th Grade.

Almost 57 years ago when I was 3 I lost my parents in a traffic accident and ended up in an religious based orphanage. It was strange at first but since I was so young I quickly adapted to the highly structured environment. This place was quick to use spanking as a means of punishment and while I dreaded it at first, something strange began to happen late in the 4th grade.

I began to notice strange tingling's "down there" after a spanking which just grew more intense over time and soon I began to be fascinated watching the principal spank the other girls. It was such a strange time for me because I was totally clueless to anything sexual, so I thought something was wrong with me, but on the other hand I felt that I was lucky to "enjoy" something that was obviously made to be for punishment.

Of course Mr. Montgomery's method of not swatting hard but giving you lots of them no doubt contributed to this growing fetish. I too would look up things in our school library about spanking such as the dictionary. I also enjoyed hearing from some of the boys about their spankings as they seemed more open to talk about it than my fellow girl students.

This like of spanking grew so intense that I misbehaved on purpose in the 7th grade just to get one. I remember later asking myself "Rachel, what is wrong with you girl?" It was not until 1997 when I got online for the first time that I realized how common this fetish was. I felt much relieved at that point.
rbeatty53 rbeatty53
61-65, F
5 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Good that you were finally able to come to terms with it, Rachel. You're right, the fetish is by no means uncommon.

Hi Rachel,

It was so much the same for me with the realization, the confusion, then the discovery that there are countless others drawn to spanking like moths to a flame.

That is so true Jenny. It's so strange that most will not even talk about it.

I wonder how common these feelings are. It was weird because after a certain age, when I was going to get a paddling, I got an erection. I didn't understand it. Getting it from my dad or from the male principal at school, I don't know why it would be a sexual thing at all. I was always scared and embarrassed. A paddling was too painful to enjoy, but the glow and tingle afterwards gave me feelings I only began to understand as I got older. Nobody else I knew, including my family members, ever seemed to have the same feelings about spanking I did. Like you, I asked myself many, many times what was wrong with me.

It was such a weird thing for me. I often would find ways to talk about it with the other girls but without trying to be too obvious. It was just the spanking part, but it was the whole atmosphere of it.

Well, that Mr. Montgomery made it beyond weird. I wouldn't be too surprised if some of the girls got funny feelings. There are adults who like to play out scenes like that. All the ritual he put you through and how he administered the paddle. I grew up with ritualistic corporal punishments, but they were conventional for the time. They didn't seem pervy. It was just me who had all these strong feelings about them. I wanted to find ways to talk about it too. It was hard because I always felt I was letting on about my strange interest.

The erection happened before the punishment. Like Rachel wrote below, some boys told her it was embarrassing, and then swats of the paddle made it go away. That's how it was for me too. But I wouldn't say it was very erotic, because other emotions were much stronger. The feelings that came some time after a paddling were more complicated than just increased blood pressure in the area.

They spankings at the time did not seem pervy to me either as I had no concept of was perversion was. I just bought into his reasoning's even though I did wonder about them at time. One of his comments was "Everyone has a butt and yours in nothing special." lol

Thanks for that insight Perspicares. The male anatomy in an interesting phenomenon.

I think you are wrong. When my children were small I'd get wood from punishing them. I stopped punishing them in fear that there was something wrong with me.

3 More Responses

I know the feeling, girl. Thank god for the internet. I thought I was a freak for half my life instead of my whole one!

I was shocked how common it was. I felt much better for being the weirdo in the orphanage.

Yes some of us boys got tinglings & aruosels down there too.

I remember a few boys telling how embarrassing it was to get an erection before getting the swats and then the erection quickly dissipated.

What is "infants school?"

Thanks for the information. I know little about the British school system.