It Hurts

I just wrote a story in "I Hate My Mother" so I need to vent some more because there are so many thoughts going through my head its driving me crazy. My (adoptive) mother was so verbally abusive towards me yet everyone sees her as being a really nice, sweet woman. I hate how she turns on the charm and yet is really nasty. She'd say things like "God, all those stupid chinks need to go home" (meaning Asian people) and yet would say she wasn't racist because she had a black daughter. She would tell me that she (and my dad) 'saved' me from a really bad culture. She said everytime I cried was because people from my culture could do it easily so they could get money from tourists. She would be nice to my friends when they came over and then ***** about how rude they were for not thanking her for letting them come over. She would say things so sweetly but with so much venom in it. If I question her now about things she resorts to name-calling. She said I was too loud and too fat to be a 'real lady' and that its to be expected since women from my culture always get fat when they're older. She said only women who have multiple piercings are usually fat ugly dykes and all the time when she says this stuff its done with grace and style. Sarcasm was her forte. Like I"ve said before, I hate her. Its not one of those relationships that will heal in a hurry if ever. i know the type of people in my life nowadays who are total poison and I feel sad to say its my mother. Emotional scars remain while bruises fade. The bruises she caused are on the inside and most of the times when we see each other, she hits me in the same place all the time so my emotional scars are never going to heal unless I keep her out of my life.
Ozislander Ozislander
36-40, F
3 Responses Dec 15, 2011

I'm 30 and my adoptive mother is the same way. I would get told how awesome or kind she was by various people, they needed to try living with her. If she was so awesome how come she was never awesome to me? It was crazymaking. I moved out at 19 because I just couldn't take it anymore, now I get accused of not being around and leaving the family. It's my fault for not staying around to be abused.

Its too bad that you weren't adopted by a human being; snakes do a better job of preparing their children for life than your mother did.

My mother is the same. All my friends talk about how pretty and nice she is and then when we go home she turns. I'm only 15 but I think I really hate my mother.