I still am growing up without one. I can tell you that when I did have one, he was the greatest man I knew. I was really attached to him and loved him a lot. He was my hero. Some might even have said that I was a daddy's girl. To me he was the best father in the world. But I was 5 when it started to go down hill. I'll never forget the time I watched him do heroin. I didn't know thats what he was doing at the time but realized it when I got older. My parents divorced and I was too young to really know what that meant. Alls I knew at that point is that my dad is there sometimes and sometimes he isn't. Thats when I started to have abandonment issues and felt like everyone would leave me and today I still kind of feel that way and I think I always will. His drug addiction got worse and his visits decreased. It killed me inside to know that I couldn't see my dad. When I was 9 he visited me one last time. He looked drained and you could tell that his addiction was worse. After that I never saw him again and I don't know if I ever will. My mom does not keep me from my father it is his decsion not to come around or call. I haven't seen him in 6 years. I want to have him back so bad. He can never get back what he has missed out on. I wish he would come home so badly. Most kids my age would just feel hatred and anger torwards their father but for some reason I don't. Its funny how much pain he has caused me and my family for years yet I still love him and would be open to having a good relationship with him if he wanted to make the effort.
Jessica4729 Jessica4729
18-21, F
Aug 17, 2014