Where Have All The Years Gone?

I will start by thanking all the MOTHERS that love their children and NEVER abandoned them.. Your children need you there.. :).. I grew up without a nother. What I know about her, is that she was an orphan.I have only pictures of her. Maybe that is what hurts the most to me. I guess, I am somewhat fortunate, some children have NOTHING. I was born in the state of Ga. in 1972. Mom left my dad when I was only 3 years old.What things does a child miss out on at that age? Birthdays? I have wondered for countless years, if she has ever thought of me, remembered my birthday. When you graduate, you would want your mother to be able to be there to see you accept that diploma. Mine wasn't. I am not asking for annyone's sympathy. I am just simply wanting to tell my story.. When I was a little boy, my dad's military orders sent him to Hawaii. We lived on-base there. He served 24 years active duty in the Marines.. He was good to me, but, MOM was my life. My mother's name was cynthia, a moon goddess.. MOM WAS MY WORLD!!!!
Miseree Miseree
36-40, M
8 Responses Jul 12, 2010

xx

I wanted you to know that I read your story but I cant bring myself to post anything personal...I tried but I just cant<br />
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all I know is that your mother should be very proud to have a son like you

I sort of understand. My mum walked out on me and my dad on his birthday and three days before my first. She moved near me and my dad. She started her own family. And I did go round to see her but it hurt so much that I was treated like one of her own. Instead I was treated like one of my little sisters friends. Through my life I had seen her get rid of three more of her own kids as if they were nothing and see them move far away. So when I grew up I understood what she is. And now when I walk down the street I see her. I can't get rid of the *****. If you ever need someone I'm here. I am just happy I'm not the only one

Hey there! Long time no talk... been thinking of you and wondering if you found your mom or how that was all going. I hope you do find your mom, get answers and can feel at peace with your life. <br />
I don't quite understand about your dad and his letter... other then he truly loves you and wants you to always know that he does. Have you spoken to him lately? I really do wish you the best my friend. Take care!!<br />
xo

I really do appreciate people like you that understand what it's like going through what we have both experienced. I am not exceptionally close to my father anymore. My dad met my mom between tours in Vietnam. They got married, moved to Georgia, and in 1972, I was born. After that is a blur for me. What I have been told is that my grandmother came to Hawaii where we were living at the time, to come and take care of. Have you ever wished you could just go back in time, and see how your parents fell in love, see your own birth, whether their marriage was turbulent. Dad still has mementos that mom gave to him. What do you think about a huge cut of hair that is put away in tape? Would you HONESTLY beleve (that a mother) would cut that much off, and send it to her bf in Vietnam? There is alot of eery **** about all of this. I found a letter that dad wrote to me years ago. Stating, he would forsake anything for me. And, to not take the same path he took.. I might be reading into this far too much, but it sounds like a letter a cold,calculating murderer would write. I have watched too many Fornsic Files And New Detectives. Kinda ******' creepy.

i hope that you will be able to locate her, everything that you said you are doin are things i wouldve suggested, i have been doin the same in regards to my baby brother who my mother gave to his father when he was only 6mths old. growing up in a orphanage during those times can not have been easy and i know wat it can be like i was 16 and living in and out of foster care and the streets when i found out i was pregnant. however times have changed dramatically since those days so thankfully i was able to get help. dont be afraid to have kids its not to late and the love and life you have will make you a wonderful father and protector. i believe that maybe through the family you have found you may get some answers and thank goodness you have a great friend to help you along the way when goin through things like this its amazing how juz one person can make a difference. i hope you are able to find your mother and put to rest the years of uncertainty and questions. i wish you all the best and would love to again have a chat with you another time as i now would like to help in any way i can :) so if i can help plz let me know. take care

thank you very much for your post.. I just came across it. I have never seen my birth mother, or ever gotten a chance to talk with her. I am not bitter towards her by any means. I would just simply like closure is all. I have looked for countless years for her. I do know that I have 3 aunts. 1 lives in Mississippi, and the other one lives in lives in Colorado Springs, Co. I have been in contact with them quite frankly. Not long ago, I decided to get in touch with 'The Locator', making 2 videos that I posted on youtube. I had a voicemail from one of Troy's people contact me. I was totally shocked. Maybe, closure for me maybe found. I never had any children, and being 37 now, I fear having them, honestly, I look at mom's picture daily, and I think to myself, If I was in her position, becoming a father (ex) at 19, I can imagine how scared she was. I have pictures of her on my groups page, if you ever care to see them. I have spoken with many of her friends that shegrew up with at Childhaven. Childhaven is an orphanage, so you know. Several of her friends told me stories about the cruel, lewd acts that used to occur there, which angers me. That was back in the late 60's/early 70's. I really hate to hear about your troybles. We can definitely relate when it comes to this. I had a good friend that has decided to help me, she is definitely a sweetheart. She has put up a FB page for my mother, in hopes, it might bring up leads. She has a family of her own. Which I commend her for being a gran parent, like I know that she is. Thank you very much for your input on my story. Post anytime that you wish. :)

i know how it feels, my mother gave me to my grandperants but constantly used me as a bargaining tool against them and other ppl.. ive read my child welfare files and one paragraph sticks out the most to me still.. "margaret has openly admitted to being unable to provide the child with any affection or love and this is backed by staff at the refuge" i am so very grateful to my grandma for raising me and it wasnt easy once i hit a certain age i made life so much harder for her. i have several foster carers and friends mothers i have adopted, but the only mothers love i have ever wanted was that of my REAL mother. however she was never really interested in me. i swear to never be like that with my kids but i have on occasion found myself bein unable to give my eldest as much attention and affection he desires, i love him more than i can ever describe i juz find it hard sometimes. i dont hate my mother i juz have no respect for her and she has never given me any reason to but i do love her and although im nearly 30 still crave her approval and love even though im never goin to get it from her. in my whole life i lived with her for bout 2yrs tops. she juz never wanted me and told me so on many occasions. i apologise for this long *** response i saw wat you wrote and juz wanted to do wat you have done and get at least some of it off my chest :)