Estranged From Son To Get Past The Pain

How does one ever get past the pain of being estranged from ones child?  My son of nearly 30 years is currently choosing not to communicate with my husband and myself.  He is in a dysfunctional marriage and is hanging on by a thread due to the fact that he has a beautiful 2 year old child.  There are so many reasons our daughter-in-law could tell you why she hates us but isn't that always true of a drug addicted person (to pain pills).  Our attitudes, values and beliefs are so far removed from her way of thinking as hers are to us which makes it all the more difficult. The constant pain of not seeing my son and granddaughter is sometimes too much.  Does anyone know how to possbily lessen this chronic pain?
misslolas misslolas
56-60, F
5 Responses Sep 10, 2010

I am going through a similar situation and don't have a husband and am dealing with it all alone and am not doing very well with it. Do you have any suggestions?

I too am dying inside. it is so crazy figuring out how to grieve the loss of a child when he is still alive. It's only been a year and I am hoping that some of the pain will subside with the passing of the next year. Who is he I wonder? They say you reap what you sow, so I guess I did a really good job and educating him and getting him to be a success in the world but not so good at respecting and loving me.

Hi Misslolas,
I am sooo sorry for the pain and agony that you carry. I do not know how to eliminate the chronic pain for it is my constant companion. Perhaps I thought it might help you to know that I share your pain and that you are not alone. I understand, I care and pray that all of us who are estranged from our children find peace and reconciliation. In the meantime, I sob and weep and wait. (((HUGS)))

Give it to God and live your life for YOU! If their hearts ever soften, they will come back to find a Mom who is happy and living life to the fullest. Put it on their plate. Life it just too short to be held hostage by the decisions of our children to punish us.

Hi Doddlin,
I'm not sure if you still post, but I want to thank you for your wise words. I have memorized "life is too short..."and have needed it many times. I still do not have a relationship with my son and 3 grandchildren and have heartache every day, but your words do help me get through another second, minute, hour and day. I wish there was an answer because as I get older, it gets harder to fight depression.
I hope your situation has changed and God bless.

I agree. It is difficult to do though

Pray,Pray,Pray, I'm in the same boat.....