Help

HELP – We lost our precious daughter to a boyfriend whose main aim is to alienate her from us – since Oct. 13th, 2012 she has “separated” herself from us and completely abandoned us.

Please find below a sequential line of messages of the last 2 days between Angelina and her dad which are self-explanatory.

We seek any help we can get – Thanks for considering to help us getting our daughter back.

Thomas Schwartz – tommy@zapcity.com -

Dad wrote: (Originally written in German – below is a Google Translation)

Angelina,

Your unilateral decision to separate yourself from your parents caused us great pain and puts us so much with our back to the wall, that almost every means seems right to make you take back this decision.

Since our previous actions (via Farhad's parents & siblings as well as Sheryl and Michelle) have not borne any fruits you actually force us to take other measures to make you to take your decision back and to liberate ourselves from our hopeless situation.

Our previous actions were with people that have a personal relationship with you and / or Farhad, so they confronted you with goodwill. Future actions will no longer give you this advantage.

We want to give you again an opportunity to reconsider your decision and to normalize your relationship with us. In this reconsideration you should become really clear whether you and in particular Farhad want to bear the consequences of your behavior.

As a sign of your reconsideration, we await you on Wednesday evening (28/11/2012) between 19: 00 and 21: 00 in our home to an enlightening conversation to normalize our relationships. If you choose not to appear we will see this as your decision to stay separated from your parents.

We hope to see you and on this occasion give you an insight into Elizabeth's post-operative State after you found it not even worth the trouble to enquire about her State even though you knew that she had an operation last Thursday. Strangers call, come over, cook for us and our own daughter is "lost". This behavior is for every human being unworthy and in particular for a daughter that was so much “Carried on Hands" as you were.

In love
MOM & DAD

Angelina wrote:

If your planning on surrendering on the financial and personal points of disagreement then I will consider your invite for Wednesday, if not then this seems like a futile exercise.

Dad wrote:

Please explain the personal points of disagreement I have to surrender.

Angelina wrote:

I have the following rights for those within my family and friends:
Right to privacy.
Right to my own religious beliefs.
Right to my legal name and separate finances.
Right to not be made guilty about my decisions.
Right to spend my time how I like with whom I wish.
Right to raise my children the way I want to in combination with my partner.
Right to be listened to on all matters that concern me and to be understood clearly.
Right to not be harassed.
Right not too be gossiped about to friends and family.
Right to have no expectations put on me.
Right to have my parents accept and respect (NO MUSLIMS comments) and want anyone I bring into the family.
Right to be treated as an adult of my age.
Right to not have Jewish doctrine or principles pushed on me.
I hold these rights to be self evident, that all parents and all children are created equal, that they are endowed by the creator with certain unalienable rights and that among these we live in a happy free world with each pursing their own happiness.

Dad wrote: (Originally written in German – below is a Google Translation)

Angelina,

When I read your list I am wondering what’s about our rights? Rights are there only because there are also obligations. What would be your obligations (towards your parents) that belong to this list?

In principle, this list is a good basis for a discussion although only 25% of what we should discuss and agree. Namely, your rights & obligations and our rights & obligations.

I have written my comments in CAPITALS to each of your rights listed below. Regardless of the incompleteness of this list I noticed that 10 (6 x 100% + 4 x 50%) of the 13 required rights will certainly be agreeable to your satisfaction.

Having said that, we hope to see you Wednesday.

DAD

Quote

I have the following rights for those within my family and friends:
Right to privacy. YES, HOWEVER THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRIVACY IN GENERAL AND PRIVACY BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS - IF YOU EXPECT TO AGREE TO BE COMPLETELY ALIANATED FROM US UNDER THE NAME OF "PRIVACY" IT IS UNACCEPTABLE AND ACTUALLY A SANCTIONING OF THE CURRENT STATUS WHICH I WILL NOT ACCEPT
Right to my own religious beliefs. YES
Right to my legal name and separate finances. YES
Right to not be made guilty about my decisions. NO - EVERYONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND WHEN THOSE ARE BAD, HURTFUL, IRRESPONSIBLE, INADEQUATE AND / OR MORALLY WRONG YOU ARE AND REMAIN GUILTY WITH THE DECISSIONS MADE BY YOU
Right to spend my time how I like with whom I wish. YES AND NO - YES, HOW YOU LIKE IT AND WITH WHOM YOU WISH BUT BALANCED BETWEEN FAMILY AND OTHERS - NO, IF THIS IS ANOTHER COVER FOR ALIENATING YOURSELF TO AN UNACCEPTABLE LEVEL FROM YOUR FAMILY (LIKE ABANDONING YOUR MOTHER AT AND AFTER A SURGERY)
Right to raise my children the way I want to in combination with my partner. YES FOR THE PARENTING PART - NO FOR THE GRAND-PARENTING PART
Right to be listened to on all matters that concern me and to be understood clearly. YES, YES AND YES
Right to not be harassed. YES ABSOLUTELY - THE ONLY THING IS: WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF HARRASSMENT? - I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS CAME INTO THIS LIST FOR ME TO SURRENDER AS THIS LIST IS BY NO MEANS A COMPLETE LIST OF YOUR RIGHTS
Right not too be gossiped about to friends and family. YES - HOWEVER WHAT YOU DID IS UNFORTUNATELY NO GOSSIP AT ALL AND THEREFORE JUST A MEAN TO PROVIDE YOU WITH FEEDBACK ON YOUR TWISTED DECISSION(S)
Right to have no expectations put on me. IMPOSSIBLE - HOW DO YOU DARE TO ASK FOR THAT WHEN YOU PUT SUCH A LIST OF EXPECTATIONS ON US?
Right to have my parents accept and respect (NO MUSLIMS comments) and want anyone I bring into the family. YES, ANY DECENT, HONEST, TRANSPARENT AND OPEN PERSON IS WELCOME SUBJECT THAT HE OBSERVES THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP'S PRIVACY BETWEEN PARENTS AND DAUGHTER
Right to be treated as an adult of my age. YES, AS LONG AS YOU ACT AS AN ADULT OF YOUR AGE
Right to not have Jewish doctrine or principles pushed on me. WHAT'S ABOUT OUR RIGHT TO NOT HAVE OTHER DOCTRINES OR PRINCIPLES PUSHED ON US? I WOULD THINK THIS IS AN ISSUE OF BALANCING BY AVOIDING DOCTRINES ALL TOGETHER.
I hold these rights to be self evident, that all parents and all children are created equal, that they are endowed by the creator with certain unalienable rights and that among these we live in a happy free world with each pursing their own happiness. THIS IS 100% AGREEABLE FOR ANY REALTIONSHIP, HOWEVER IF THEIR OWN HAPPINESS MEANS ABANDONING PARENTS THEN THIS CONSTITUTES AN INCORRECT AND UNACCEPTABLE INTERPRETATION OF THIS PRINCIPLE.

UNQUOTE

Angelina wrote:

Obviously we are not on the same page so I will not be coming tomorrow.

This is the reason why I stopped talking to you in the first place.

We are separated so stop messaging me with this type of email or texts.

Angelina

Sent from my iPhone
tommy19561119 tommy19561119
56-60, M
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

My daughters boyfriend has somehow caused my daughter to estranged herself from everyone she knows including all friends and family.